Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz back together

September 8th, 2006 // 109 Comments

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Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz were spotted at Madeo Italian restaurant in Beverly Hills on Wednesday suggesting they might be getting back together. Although the past few days have been such a blur of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan that I can’t really remember what’s going on with anybody else. Did they break up? Were they together? Did they escape a group of ninjas by skiing down a mountain? The answer is yes, my friends. To all of the above.


  1. At least he isn’t as crazy as Tom.

  2. so2315


  3. so2315

    must have beat me by a second!!!!

  4. combustion8

    looks more like shes being stalked by a street walker.

  5. oh christ, does anyone believe this sham? i mean, matt’s been doing the hokey pokey with sir lance-alot and penny’s just covering for tomtom cruise in some wierd distorted way that we just haven’t thought up yet.. she dated a gay guy before to keep the homophobes at bay and now she’s doing it again for matt.. da bitch is a fag hag.. no doubt..

  6. The Devil's Prom Date

    Can you spot the two beards in this picture?

  7. danielle

    who cares if you’re 1st….this story sucks. bring on the HOhan!

  8. rudesauce

    So he does own a shirt after all…

  9. Jacq

    I’m beginning to detect a pattern…
    With Pene = clothed
    Without Pene = no shirt – EVER
    Back with Pene = clothed
    She either got custody of his upper wardrobe or he’s getting naked with men whenever they’re not together.
    Just a hunch.

  10. jrzmommy

    Guess all the Mance stories were starting to get the studio execs a little nervous so they called in the Spanish Beard herself once again. Hey, she helped TCLTC during his awkwardly single years, now she’s helping Matt, what with Sandra Bullock being married and all these days.

  11. Nice to see Matt with his shirt back on

  12. frenchtoaststix

    I thought he was boning, um, dating, ah, best buddies with Lance Armstrong? Now he’s back to the exotic unibrow chick? And by unibrow chick I mean Penelope Cruz and not Freida Kahlo? Maybe they’ll decide to adopt an Asian baby like TomKat? I’ve decided to end every sentence with a question mark today?

  13. RichPort

    I hear he likes to lay between TC and John Travolta and pretend he’s skiing.

  14. Oh my gosh, could it possibly be that they are still close friends and just wanted to have lunch, catch up, and hang out together?

    Oh amazing!!!

    So sick of gossip blogs jumping to ignorant conclusions just for the sake of making a post…

  15. jrzmommy

    So fuck off then Sara Jean!

  16. RichPort

    #15 – After seeing your blog and for the sake of making a post, I’m jumping to the ignorant conclusion that I’m sick too.

  17. @ #5 & #11 – Couldn’t agree more. Matt’s always had homo rumors trailing him like Jake Gyllenhall on a bicycle, and Penelope’s supposedly a raging carpet muncher (her and Salma are more than just “friends”). Penelope apparently only dates men who happen to be gay? What are the odds of that? She is, without doubt, Hollywood’s greatest beard. Her “dating” someone should basically be considered an outing.

  18. What cracks me up is the expensive casual look. Now, Matthew’s shirt may look like it cost $9.99 at Target and that he slept in it, but most likely the shirt is probably vintage and cost $300.00 and someone spent hours pressing it to look like he slept in it.

    Also, why are we happy that he has one on?

  19. commissioner

    I’d hit it. Him. Hell, her for good measure.

  20. Oh, and one more thing… To those with all the sexual orientation comments… who cares who Matthew puts his cock in?

    Could he be bisexual, gay, straight? Oh my gosh, we better review his friends and figure this out so we can label which side his dick swings to.

    We all should know by now that homophobes have scientifically been shown to have homosexual tendencies and is why they are so worried about what someone’s sexuality is in the first place. Gosh! (said in the style of Napoleon Dynamite.)

    Can’t we all just get a long, have sex with who we want to and not get all worked up about sexual orientation?

    I mean let’s get into more important things like why he has his shirt on and how we can convince him to take it off again.
    Heck yes!

  21. Binky

    Well – they have a bit is common…sort of.
    He always looks like he just woke up, and after seeing her in a few old Spanish movies – she always looks ready for bed.
    Not sure the couple should be out in daylight though..

  22. Holy shit!

    That was one whole post in-a-row that did not have a picture of Lindsay Lohan.

    Way to go Mr. Fish

    And did anyone find out whether or not Madeo’s in Beverly was a soup kitchen?

    Lastly, @15 Sarah Jean,

    Does it make me ignorant to jump to conclusions and call you a disgusting dog-fucker! I quote directly from your blog-site:

    “I know Mini is not a

  23. ImSuicidal

    Sarah-Jean why didn’t you name your dog ‘Skippy’? Seems more fitting under the circumstances.

  24. jrzmommy

    25-Does Skippy have nuts?

  25. Star Maker Machinery

    Maybe they’ll have a Chinese droid baby like Tom and “Kate” did. Suri (or Testube #4356678-XXX as she is properly known) looks like she was bred in a Shanghai genetics lab.

    In fact, Sheryl Crow is a mandroid constructed by the same geneticists who concocted Suri-bot. Unfortunately, there were still imperfections in Sheryl’s design resulting in a complete lack of musical talent, highly visible nutsack, and manjaw/manvoice.

  26. @26 Jrz:

    I know this is cruel, but you have got to see Sarah-Jeans wedding photos. I totally pissed my pants.

    I think she got married in a bingo parlor. The chairs didn’t match and there was wood paneling on the walls.

    I know it’s mean, but if you get a chance check it out at.

    Too much.

    The only thing missing in the pictures is ‘Skippy’.

    And try to tell me that her husband doesn’t look like a younger version ‘Grandpa Munster’!

    o.k. I’ll stop now.


  27. Hopeless_Screenwriter

    Also. Five dollars for anyone who can find “The Wizard Of Oz” among the many wedding pics.

    Hint: He’s wearing a red shirt and a silver tie ;)

    I’m so cruel.
    Sometimes I just hate myself.

    Sorry Sarah-Jean but this is some funny shit.


  28. jrzmommy

    Hopelesss–how the fuck were you able to get pictures of her wedding? Okay, let me go check out the blessed event.

  29. chelleann66

    I would much rather rag on Sarah Jean than Matthew McConauGAY…

    An excerpt from Sarah Jean’s website follows. I concede that “Skippy” is adorable and probably kicks ridiculous amounts of ass as far as pups go, but he/she probably spends most of his/her time plotting to get the fuck out of Sarah Jean’s creepy clutches…

    “Once upon a time, there was a lonely housewife who spent most of her time on the computer. Whilst in the midst of trying to make plans to move, she got very discouraged. She kept telling her husband over and over again that she wanted to have children, but both knew it was not the right time. They finally agreed that getting a puppy would be a much smarter thing to have at this point in their lives.”

    Yikes. Double yikes. Triple yikes.

  30. chelleann66

    @28 – Hopeless, you called it on the Grandpa Munster deal. Dead on, baby!

  31. commissioner


    What, is he twelve? Her blog made me want to vomit. I would have, except I had a twenty dollar lunch.

    Sarah plays armchair psychiatrist all day, waiting for “Doogie” to come home from school.

    If I was that average looking, I would never post my photo online.


  32. chelleann66

    More on Sarah Jean, my new obsession…

    Who the hell puts this kind of data on their blog sites????

    Cleanser: Neutrogena Skin Polisher
    Toner: Murad
    Moisturizer: Neutrogena
    Eye Cream: Nicel
    Lip Balm: Burt

  33. jrzmommy

    in a word?…….LILACS!!!!!!!!!!!

    And there’s a Grandma there that looks like she’s about to put a hurtin’ for certain on someone’s ass!!! (16th pic down, blue shirt.) WHOA!! Don’t shoot!

  34. commissioner

    Speaking of fucked up wedding websites, my favorite has to be

    Note, her children have three different baby daddy.

    Gag me with a cake server.

  35. commissioner

    I’m with Chelleann. The musings of this fucked up twenty something are hysterical.

    Does anyone want to know my favorite brand of Tampon? Lube?

  36. Sheva

    Back to our story: Penelope!

    I discovered her first. And I would have paid for a vocal transplant.

    Always loved Penelope. Not like that fairy self-absorbed bongo boy.

    What’s keeping the rest of his hair from falling out already?

  37. jrzmommy

    Who is Sara-Jean the Lilac Queen???
    She is: (from her website)
    Sarcastic, married, housewife, aunt, Christian, Pisces, Tiger, petite, red-head, shoe whore, fashion addict, shopaholic, dancer, writer, singer, dance teacher, unique, very compassionate yet very impatient, defiant, overly demanding, yoga fiend, dog lover, cleaning fanatic, photographer, bad artist, pro-life, Italian, web designer, terrible cook, very quick tempered, overly emotional and brutally honest. Oh and my favorite color is purple

    She forgot narcissistic, mirror-kisser, married to 15-year old, related to world’s angriest senior citizen, bucket mouth, plain jane, mental patient, closet pro-choice feminist, car thief and all around pain in the ass.

  38. They are just bangin’ temporarily to kill time. Nothing good will come out of this duet except hot sex, a big thanks and they will part. Let’s face it.


  39. Hopeless_Screenwriter

    @30 Jrz: I clicked on her name @15 and it got me to her website-then I scrolled and scrolled until I found the FUNNY!

    She even left her e-mail.

    We are not dealing with a genius here.

    I had to change my pants.

    Did you find “The Wizard of Oz”?

    Sarah-Jean do you or any of your friends have breasts? Are boobs against your religion or what? Say hi to Grandpa munster for me.

    @31 I know, I get bored of ragging on celebs sometimes.

    Sarah if it’s any consolation I’d still fuck you. I fucked a snowman once because the neighborhood kids named it pussy.

    I just can’t stop. O.k. I’ll stop now. *PHEW* *catches breath*


    P.s. Next time you decide to throw stones. THINK??

  40. Hopeless_Screenwriter

    @39 Lilac Queen. Brilliant

  41. jrzmommy

    Hopeless–I found the Wizard. Did you find the World’s Angriest Senior Citizen?

  42. chelleann66

    Bitchin’ photo of the Wizard located in the link for the table cameras at the nuptials. Check it out.
    Also, a little girl on girl action (featuring the Jeanster) a little further down.
    then, just below it, Creepy Uncle Duff hugging the bride with a big wink to let us know what’s on his mind. Yucky.
    Ok, maybe I just went too far there…

  43. jrzmommy

    Hopeless–She was homeschooled. there’s your explanation.

  44. llllllllll

    Penelope irks me…no wait..she doesn’t irk me but her nose connected to her lip irks me…the fact that her nose is pretty much one with her upper lip irks me…there is like literaaly no space between her nose and upper lip. she can smell her words.

  45. Erienne

    I have always thought brides who have bangs and actually wear them down at their weddings look incredibly messy and tacky. It looks like she just got home from soccer practice or something and threw on a wedding dress.

    but grats on the wedding :D

    oh yeah-this site is a celeb trashing site. If you dont like it, dont come here. the last fifty posts on this thread are about you—so if you dont wanna get burned dont play in fire, honey.


  46. jrzmommy

    Apparently Sara Jean has written two books.
    Let’s take guesses at their titles, shall we?

  47. Erienne


    Sarah Jean blogged some of Lindsey Hohan’s lyrics. wtf!

  48. jrzmommy

    Book One: “Say it with Lilacs!!! Sara Jean’s Guide to Formal Entertaining in VFW Halls”

    Book Two: “I’m My Own Class President! A Homeschooled Kid’s Memoirs”

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