Jason Flemyng Probably Just Confirmed Matthew Vaughn Is Directing ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’

November 28th, 2012 // 9 Comments
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Because sometimes I wake up in the morning and just want to write about Star Wars and tits (It’s a living.), above is long-time Matthew Vaughn collaborator Jason Flemyng possibly accidentally confirming to UK movie site HeyUGuys that Vaughn is directing Star Wars: Episode VII as rumored. And since my sex parts are already growing a fine, soon to be dense, layer of dust thanks to this post, let’s just go balls deep with this encouraging-only-to-nerds report via io9 that Star Wars prequels producer Rick McCallum unceremoniously “retired” shortly before the Disney buyout:

Greedo shoots first? Jar Jar? Anakin’s hatred of sand? All these things happened under McCallum’s watch, and I blame him. This is probably irrational, and I don’t care in the slightest.
Oh sure, Lucas generated these horrible ideas, but McCallum was always Lucas’ yes-man, telling him whatever shit Lucas pooped out was gold. Lucas’ previous producers quashed his bad instincts in the original trilogy; McCallum let Lucas do whatever he wanted, and the prequels were the result.

So basically Lucas and anyone who told him, “Why yes, the force is much more mystical when you make it sound like the Jedi have AIDS,” has been systematically removed from the new trilogy. I really don’t want to get my hopes here, but I already drew the Millenium Falcom on my penis. It’s a nervous tic, okay! *runs away crying*


  1. Duck Soup

    If it doesn’t have Jar Jar’s son in it I’m not watching. Still upset he wasn’t given enough time for character development by stepping into space turd.

  2. Revenge Sex

    I you spam will learn propriete english first. Heard class of schooling cheap english for 25 you suckball.

  3. Deacon Jones

    So someone tell my lazy ass what matt vaughn has directed?

    But i do like their critics of McCallum so far.

    • I just looked it up so I’ll oblige:
      -Layer Cake
      -X-Men First Class

      Actually a good resume

      • Deacon Jones

        Never even heard of the first 3

        X Men First Class was OK, I guess, I hardly remember the plot line.

        Still think they shouldve gone in a polar opposite direction for this, like Frank Miller. That would be a trilogy for the ages.

      • Layer Cake is what got Craig the Bond role, basically a bond movie in the vein of Casino Royale, Skyfall.

        Stardust is a live action children’s fantasy movie that didn’t get much attention but was incredibly well received. And had De Niro.

        Kick-Ass was…great. Blended a lot of comedy with absurd shooting/fighting sequences and had a good story.

        The point is he has experience telling a story between stylish fights, child-friendly fantasy that’s still entertaining for adults without overusing special effects, knowing when to add comedy, and flat out superheroes. Sums up Star Wars pretty well to me.

  4. EricLr

    So they’re blaming McCallum for Lucas being an idiot? What was the guy supposed to do, tell his infamously egotistical boss “Hey, you’re totally wrong, boss!”? The only thing that would have changed would have been his employment status.

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