“Cheers to my balls. Alright, alright.”
For those of you who don’t know, Matthew McConaughey stars in the upcoming Channing Tatum quasi-biopic Magic Mike where he plays the legendary owner of a male strip club who walks around without a shirt on for 199% of the movie. So basically the role Matthew McConaughey was fired out of his father’s giant penis into his mom’s crazy vagina to play. And to drive that point home, here’s J.K. Livin’ telling Vulture how he got so into the role he personally designed his own assless chaps:
Last night at the premiere of his new film Bernie, we asked McConaughey to tell us a little bit more about his character, and the talk soon turned to his wardrobe. Specifically, would McConaughey like to address the tip Vulture recently received that he spends several scenes of the movie in assless chaps? “You got to go check it out in a theater and find out, man,” he laughed, admitting, “I did design some special pants.”
MATTHEW: Listen up, ev’rybody, I just want this to be a free-flowing exchange of ideas. I know you probably think I’m just some big shot Hollywood star who thinks he can just waltz right into the wardrobe department unannounced and start designing his own clothes on your computer while you were doing something, but trust me when I say I’m only here as sort of a “spiritual guide” if you will. You people are the true artists.
COSTUME DESIGNER: Mr. McConaughey, I appreciate that, but the designs you made are.. well, they’re basically impossible to make.
MATTHEW: So are you saying you can’t build pants with a real, working penis-shaped space rocket that actually launches, or you won’t?
COSTUME DESIGNER: I’m saying there’s no way we’ll find a monkey small enough to fit inside the rocket and/or legally be allowed to fire it into orbit like you asked.
MATTHEW: Dammit! Alright, let me think on this… got it. What if instead of a monkey we used one of those Make-A-Wish kids? One of them has to want to go to space, right?
COSTUME DESIGNER: We’re just going to cover your ass in sequins.
MATTHEW: You’re harshin’ my buzz, man.