Matt Damon Defends Teachers Against Asshats With Admittedly Nice Boobs

August 2nd, 2011 // 153 Comments

Matt Damon knows what I’m talking about. Bourne Identity won’t even look down.

Apparently Matt Damon did more than just hilariously spray himself in the face with suntan lotion at the Save Our Schools rally in Washington D.C. yesterday – Frankly, I would’ve dusted off my hands and proclaimed my work done. – he also agreed to an interview with the libertarian Reason.tv who got their ass handed to them when they decided to make up facts because they seriously want the Department of Education abolished. “Getting dumber as a nation will solve all our problems.” What an incredible, innovative position to take. Via Mediaite:

Things got off to a shaky start, with Damon disagreeing with the interviewer’s take that the lack of job security inherent in acting acts as an incentive for him to work hard:
“So you think job insecurity is what makes me word hard? I want to be an actor. That’s not an incentive. That’s the thing: See, you take this MBA-style thinking, right? It’s the problem with ed policy right now, this intrinsically paternalistic view of problems that are much more complex than that. It’s like saying a teacher is going to get lazy when they have tenure. A teacher wants to teach. I mean, why else would you take a shitty salary and really long hours and do that job unless you really love to do it?”
The camera person then asked Damon, “Aren’t ten percent that are bad, though? Ten percent of teachers are bad.” Damon’s mom looked baffled. “Where’d you get that number?” she asked.
Damon struck back: “Maybe you’re a shitty camera man.”

Of course, the important thing to remember is that the first amendment took place here: The cameraman expressed his views, Matt Damon expressed his counter-views that he should go fuck himself and the entire world got to have a laugh. And not at this video. I’m talking about at our idiot-box of a country that somehow has a prominent political party running on an anti-education platform because it frees people from the intellectual wastelands of religion and/or cost a few bucks out of their paycheck. Because when you’re stroking out in a hospital, you want to make sure an illiterate moron is handling the pills. Not to mention, you get to watch the rest of the modern world pass America by as we content ourselves with Baconators, farting mall cop movies and not knowing how magnets work. And, seriously, what more do we need at this point that getting smarter is going to fix? I say we go full retard, and then we’ll stop noticing things that are wrong because that’s how you get ulcers. I watched that on a YouTube video somewhere. Without reading.

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. welldoneson

    Presuming that the DOE is all about education and that without it nobody will get educated proves you to be one dumb shit, sport.

    • Rob

      I’m interested to hear your alternative to the current system. Maybe we should scrap the armed forces for mercenaries too? They have more of an incentive to fight, right? I mean, they get paid better that way. What am I missing here?

      • ChinaSuperficial

        Rob,
        How about we take the total sum of K-12 spending in any given state, then distribute it evenly to each child as a voucher, which they can then spend at the school of their choice? Or as two annual vouchers, so they can switch schools mid-year of they are dissatisfied with their current school? This is (basically) what many of the writers at reason suggest.
        I must confess I was less impressed with Mr Damon’s replies: If he thinks allowing poor. black parents to choose where their children go to school – Hint to all of you who vote Democratic, it probably isn’t Sidwell Friends – is “paternalistic”, then he has a different understand of the word than I do.

      • Justin

        The alternative to the current system? Get rid of the DOE, saving 90 billion a year, or as liberals would say “900 billion over 10 years” and you don’t have to do anything. You act as if the DOE is the lynchpin in our entire education system. It’s useless. Since the DOE came into being, education quality has gone down.

        So basically you’re in favor of a useless 90 billion dollar a year bureaucracy because you’re in love with bureaucracy, and anyone who objects to this is an ignorant hick who dun hates LEARNINZ. DERP

    • Skeerdy Cat

      He’s a product of the public school system, what do you expect?

    • mpath1

      and what does it prove of one who presumes that getting rid of the DOE will somehow make education (or anything) for Americans universally better?

      • JPC

        Because then everyone will get their education at private schools.

        Well, everyone besides all those people that can’t afford paying tens-of-thousands of dollars a year in tuition from kindergarten through college.

      • Funding for public schools comes from state and local governements, not the federal government. Maybe if you had a better education you would understand that. Getting rid of the DOE would not affect the quality of education, except maybe in a positive way. It would just remove a level of bureaucracy and save taxpayers money.

      • j

        The Federal Dept of Education has no binding authority outside of Title 1 money. Since we all know that powers and responsibilities not listed within Article 1 are thus the responsibility of the state, what exactly is the purpose of the EdDept? When Sec. Duncan begins speaking about tracking performance of NCLB scores at the district/city/municipal level AND enforcement mechanisms, he needs to be put back into his box. Furthermore, Race to the Top, another brainchild of the Duncan ideology is a joke. Its a race to nowhere and a bureaucratic runaround at that.

      • Jim Jones

        Exactly. Instead of (gasp) making the DOE better, why not ditch it completely, because obviously not having a DOE would be good for education, even though there really is nothing to support this notion. Who cares of likelihood of people being denied education (or unable to afford it), they’re poor and disenfranchised anyway. Let’s widen that gap between the haves and the have nots, shall we?

    • Wut

      The public school system is far from perfect, but let’s be realistic here. I went to a shitty public school and I still did fine. I value education and understand its importance in my future life. I have seen all the retards that people are now claiming as byproducts of a failed public school system. Those kids didn’t care about school or education, maybe that’s why they performed like shit? Ever think about that?

      • D-chi

        Thank you. I went to a private elementary school because my mom worked there, but after 6th grade was ousted into the horror that is public school. (It was also middle school. Not to mention a faux-ghetto suburban one.) And guess what? I was an A and B student. I did well on my standardized tests and all that jazz too. (Of course I am by no means perfect. I was just good at learning stuff despite being almost cripplingly lazy.)

        Point being, people who, aside from having a learning disability, do terribly in school do so because they let themselves to do badly. Some years you’ll have a bad teacher, and some classes will be unbelievably difficult. But being a chronic bad student? That’s on you. Maybe do some homework.

        The education system is flawed, and I admit my shameful ignorance on topics foreigners are well-versed in. (Imagine not being able to fully learn a foreign language because you don’t know grammar terms in your own language!) But it is possible to do well and learn what you need to, so the blame doesn’t lie entirely with The Man.

      • Jim Jones

        I look at the current educational dilemma as being a parental problem as much as it is a DOE/public school problem. Parents don’t teach their kids respect, don’t respect the teachers, institution, etc.

      • dumb hick derp

        Good point. Though a lot of these comments are factually incorrect, they pose good points.
        Yours is the most logical. It isnt a “failed ed system”, more like a failed SOCIAL system where our kids don’t care.
        Though, the forced public schools are dumb, vouchers should be an option. But we shouldn’t eliminate public schools, they offer ethnic blending and state/fed regulated teaching that some may prefer.

    • Jeff in St Louis

      Anyone who thinks the department of education does ANYTHING to benefit students needs to watch the documentary, “Waiting for Superman.”

    • formerteacher

      Actually, each state has their own DOE so really we don’t need the federal DOE. I’m pretty sure we’ll all still get educated without it.

  2. Rob

    I loved this video! Matt definitely has my respect.

  3. Ashley

    “maybe you’re a shitty camera man”… HAHA, the guy rebutting said “I dunno” where the number 10% came from. I usually hate celebs getting political, but this was classic.

    • JM

      It would have been that much more awesome if he hadn’t made the woman’s point *for* her about tenure, since you can fire shitty cameramen quite easily.

      • Uncle Phil

        Don’t cameramen have a union too?

      • JM

        Cameramen do have a union, but to understand the difference, you’d have to be familiar with tenure. Tenure and union are not the same thing, though tenured teachers are likely unionized. Union is representation. You can be represented at your firing. Especially in right to work states, they can throw you out on your non-tenured butt.

  4. MrsWrong

    ROTFLMAO…don’t know how magnets work….

  5. Allen

    It’s funny that this clip keeps making the rounds, because another interviewer made matt Damon look like complete retard yet nobody in the media seems to want to pay attention to that.

    http://nickballasy.com/?p=396

  6. I say go ahead and let America get even stupider. Then I’ll look better by comparison!

  7. An illiterate moron is likely already handling the pills, so the DOE fails regardless.

  8. Gavin

    I love when you get political.

    Our corporate capitalist democracy is such a load of shit. This country really is a box of sleeping idiots. At least this piece of austerity shit pie that the elites in our plutarchy just shoveled into our dumb Facebook using mouths might wake up a few people.

    • Char Aznable

      be happy you enjoy the freedom to badmouth the country, dickhead. in a lesser one they’d come to your house in the middle of the night and give you a nice new necktie, columbian style.

      • the foreigner

        @char What freedom? Notice, most of the comments are getting deleted! Isn’t that your first amendment at work? USA USA USA! No-one’s going to bother coming to slit your throat because all they have to do is put a bit of sport or flash titty at you on the box and you can go sit there like a good sheeple and forget about everything else.

      • Char's Welfare check

        Char,
        You are free to go back wherever the hell you came from if the free speech thing doesn’t work for you. Gavin probably pays more in taxes than you make all year you welfare collecting d-uche.

    • Ho.Lee.Shit

      Gavin,
      I always wonder why people don’t just leave for greener pastures, can you explain it to me since you obviously find your current station so displeasurable? You are the kind of dick hole that has never left this country for anything other than Europe (if that) to see how the other half lives and since that is what I do, I will kindly say this: Go. Fuck. Yourself with a chainsaw and post the pictures on facebook. I’ll be sleeping like an idiot so don’t bother waking me with your pseudo-psychopolitical rants.

      Plutarchy…smh…STFU.

      • smash smash

        People that badmouth the country are often times mad because their welfare checks are late or their food stamps can only be used on uncooked food. People that get handouts love to bite the hand that feeds them. People that earn things tend to see life in a more realistic way.

        @the foreigner, the first amendment has nothing to do with comments on a message board you dumb clown. The moderators of the site can edit their page at will. Learn shit, sukka.

      • Ho.Lee.Shit

        @the foreigner,
        You peruse a website whose main focus is TITTIES and DICK JOKES and yet you wax philosophical about the baser distractions that keep Americans from examining larger more important issues? Is English your first language? Look up the word IRONY! This must be why foreigners come to THIS country to be educated…?

        I’d say more, but I’m suddenly distracted by Snooki’s ass! Join me?

      • D-chi

        Americans who gripe about America are usually loathe to leave it. So their arguments hold little water for me.

      • Liberal Douche

        @ D-chi

        I can’t leave America, if I do, then who’s going to traffic in all those illegals? Besides, I work as a professor indoctrinating naive American youth into the bright new world of socialism. Just yesterday we were discussing how Cuban health care is the greatest thing since sliced bread and how Christianity is the greatest murderous idea in the world. Hopefully within the next 20 years me and my comrades will turn the good ole U S of A into some cross between Canada and Somalia.

        Besides can you imagine an America without us? People would see babies as human beings, the freedom fighters in Al Queda would be disbanded, Black gang members wouldn’t be able to use the race card–it would be complete…well…decency! Ewwww!

  9. FruitLoop

    What the hell kinda answer were they expecting. That’s like going to a feminist rally, with a couple retard interviewers.

    Mic-handler: “Yes, but don’t you think that in fact some women are just plain bitches, and bring the abuse down on themselves?”

    Camera-stooge: “Yeah, I heard, that like, some women actually deserve to be hit”

  10. Mike Walker

    Please. Teaching is merely a job, and if that isn’t all it is when they start, then it will be 5-10 years down the road for many of them, certainly 10%. Yet, we’re all supposed to swallow this load of bull that they’re selfless individuals making great sacrifices “for the children”, similar to how we have to pretend the police are risking their lives daily to “serve the public”. I’d be lucky if 10% of my teachers were good, let alone 90%. Fuck ‘em. Just give me some good textbooks and a course outline.

    I remember our 6th grade “art teacher” would come in, hand out a piece of yellow paper and tell us to “draw something” while he sat at his desk reading the paper and checking his watch for the next 40 minutes. The course had no textbook either, so I learned zilch.

    • Char Aznable

      you had a shitty experience so that’s indicative of the entire system? you’re right, you’re a fucking genius.

    • Johnny Cage

      Some of my teachers were decent, but they spent more time reporting the wanna-be-thugs in class than they did teaching the class. I couldn’t blame them too much for that, because there are some inner city schools were the kids are dumb as shit and the blame is more on them. Case in point, I knew a large number of my former friends who dropped out of Middle School! Not High School, Middle School. It was at that age that most of them started hustling. The former class president of my 5th grade class is now drug dealing.

      Like I said, there are a lot of great teachers, I’d say more than half are serious about their trade. But they are under appreciated, especially by the students. My former Art Teacher in High School once told me, “Don’t become an Art Teacher, because no one will appreciate you.” The guy was right. Day in and day out I remember this guy would bring in new art supplies, project ideas, art history videos, and everything else for us, but a majority of the kids in class preferred to act like they just came out of zoo. One misbehaving student tried to fight him in class towards the end of the year.

    • DS

      It’s this kind of sound thinking that made Iraq a thriving democracy. Oh wait…You must be a Republican.

      • Johnny Cage

        I’m a democrat, but I have to ask why everyone throws stones at the Republicans? Everyone knows it’s extreme liberals who are the main force in destroying the country inside out.

  11. sarcastic bombastic

    oh snap!

  12. Tom

    Yo, watch the full video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJ7icVvDK9I&feature=player_embedded

    Jude Law shows up at 4:38 and eye fucks the shit out of the pretty lady.

    • Sheppy

      Not so sure that’d Jude law… but the camera man does start that bit pointed at her cleavage :)
      Incidently, I find her unbearable :/

  13. Pat

    Kudos to Damon for defending teachers (I agree with him completely), and kudos to The Superficial for posting this. Please note that those kudos may be traded in for brownie points at the current market exchange rate.

  14. a foreigner

    You know Damon is pretty awesome, not just for the Bourne movies. Him and Fish prove that not all Americans are absolutley retarded.

    America is so closed in, you’re all brainwashed to believe you have this ‘freedom’ and that you can do anything you want, meanwhile all the companies take your money and when someone like Obama comes along and says ‘let’s make this better’, the majority of Americans are against him,even though it would benefit them. Your educational level has gotten progressivly worse and celebrity is rewarded in the worst way. One twitter from a Kardashian can earn more than you make in a year/month whatever.

    In a lot of ways America is worse than places like Korea and China because there at least they’re open about you having no freedoms.

    How many of you know Putin just called America parasitic? Living beyond your means and now you have to bum rides from Russia because you don’t have a space program anymore.

    Anyhoo, back to the boobies for me.

    • j

      I find it ironic that because some “celebrity” makes an argument, suddenly “all Americans are not retarded”. I find it almost laughable that since, apparently you aren’t that means you are qualified to call my fellow citizens retards. Quite the interesting pejorative. Living beyond our means, the people aren’t, the government is, a couple billion to the UN, some more to the IMF, more to the World Bank, every bumfuck theocracy in the Levante, etc…..How about Africa? billions of how many decades? And they are still living in famine on the Savannah. Yes, Ole Vlady called my country a parasite, typical Marxist rhetoric, once KGB, always KGB and yes I know, its called the FSB. The Russians have had an inferiority complex for over a century, ever since Ivan the Terrible. Just a false sense of grandeur, you have massive geography, but a short warm seasons, it causes chronic food shortages. You link your “greatness” to a bear found in Siberia, your children bow to a picture of Mendevev, and the Mafia owns half of your economy. Your country is a shithole, always has been, always will be. Dont even attempt to list anything about the old USSR, Lake Baikal comes to mind, as do the bread lines, the central planners, Politburo, and a little thing called Chernobyl. As for countries taking our money, its called an exchange of capital for goods and services, supply side economics run the industrialized world. Do you like your car? your stuff? if not, just give them up. Its all voluntary.

      On a final point, Space Program….just because the Shuttle has been ended, doesnt mean NASA and USAF Space Command no longer exist. The Russians would have nothing without NASA….Mir, anyone? You have no clue.

      • the foreigner

        @j I’m not russian! I was just pointing out what the guy said, and I could easily use your own arguement against you here. You say i’m not american so i’m not qualified to say you’re not a retard, well the same goes for you and russia. it’s a wonderful culture and people and until you’ve been there you can stfu, and of course nasa still exists but seriously? that’s like an army without any soldiers.
        @fish apologies when I last checked i couldn’t see my post

    • Brooke

      The problem with people is that they expect things to be instantaneous. I cannot figure out why so many Americans think Obama is doing a shitty job. What were they expecting? I see change happening, but of course it takes time, especially when people can’t agree on anything. I don’t think he’s a great president, but he’s earlobe deep in shit that’s built up over the years.

      I don’t know. I guess I don’t see the point in blaming all of one’s personal problems on the government.

      • Doc Schweinstrudel

        WTF!
        This story is about fucking MATT DAMON and teachers and you have to bring Russia into it. YOU TWO ARE*** FUCKING RETARDS.
        Couple of points:
        -a foregner is NOT a Russian, probably some Western Europeanto j? (most likely Brit, only they get so obsessed with what MR Putin says or does, period).
        -to j: your point to the foreigner is retarded because he isn’t Russian, you know who is I AM. And as a Russian, I am telling you
        a. Whatever wrote a speechwriter for Mr. Putin that day was targeted for half-educated beer drunk wanna be politician camp bums youth, it doesn’t reflect the opinion of majority of Russians who in any case despise their government.
        b. So you know, Chernobyl is on Ukraine-Belarus territory, which is not Russian territory.
        c. Russia was a prosperous country comparing to OTHERS during times of Ivan the Terrible, why would we have compexes since that time. We washed ourselves daily in saunas while kings and queens in Europe took shower twice in their lifetime (well documented facts!).
        d. I have an American friend working in IT for NASA, the spacemen and women live on the same territory, like all the staff, they are great friends and cooperate together. Majority of Americans visiting here stay and everybody makes friends with Russians for life, so your insults and your attacks are moronic and simply reflect your own inferiority complexes. Jerk

      • Doc Schweinstrudel

        FUCKING HELL, FOREIGNER, when you next time say stupid shit, like Matt D is a great actor, Obama is a messiah and Putin is a pillar of truth, please annonce that you are a Brit, so that everybody else would not think that Russians are such bloody idiots. Now you and J may go back to jerking off to pics of our tennis players.

      • “I cannot figure out why so many Americans think Obama is doing a shitty job. What were they expecting?”

        “Change We Can Believe In”? Just a wild guess…

  15. The Laughing G-D

    Public schools only count as an alibi for local crimes.

  16. I dunno

    He doesn’t answer the question, but pontificates about how great teachers are in a “RA RA RA” way which ignores the serious problems the education system faces today…I thought she asked a valid question.

  17. Clicker happy, rough

    You know? Human gives themselves way too much credit with this “intelligence” thing. I mean we’re pinning and waiting to be discovered by aliens for Christ sake. ” ohhh we’re still behind, because we can’t travel at the speed of light”. Further, why does it take centuries to develop major life altering accomplishments? You know who does amazing things all the time and does not blow smoke up their asses? Ants! Now, here’s a species you can admire. One that builds cities, uses tools, farms, and demonstrates the capacity to plan and think. And all information is known by all, and there’s one prime real estate. You know what? eff the ants logic. I want to feel superior to the other man.

  18. I bet the percentage of shitty parents is well over 10%. If only 1 out of 10 of my workmates was shitty I would consider that the best job I ever had.

    It blows me away that 10 years ago most people agreed that teachers were unappreciated and under-payed, but now Joe Public has had to tighten his belt, teachers are all freeloaders with the Summer off. I know a few teachers personally and my observation is that they work their asses off and live very humbly.

  19. adolf hitler

    i dunno. teachers dont make that much. why would they want to be secure in a job that is not that rewarding? question like that would make sense for an industry with competitive salaries, but teaching is not something people who want money aspire to do.

    • Shmidtler

      don’t make that much? are you kidding? what do you think teachers make? here in NJ they make 60 to 90 thousand a year, principals make $150k, superintendants make $250k a year – they get 85 consecutive days off every summer, every weekend, every holiday, a 2 week vacation for Christmas and another 10 days for Easter, plus they get 2 weeks more of vacation time they can use whenever they want. They’re done work before 4 pm on the days they do work, which is less than half the days on the calendar. school budget is over half of every municipality’s budget, and so more than half of everything we pay in local taxes. My town has 1 school building for k-8, they employ 2 principals @ $150k each and a superintendant @ $265k – to run one building. Those are facts. Dumbass Matt Damon doesn’t get it that with horrificly wasteful spending like that, people just can not afford it anymore. Show me where somebody with nothing more than a 4 year liberal arts degree from a crappo community college can get a job working less than half the days on the calendar, get the best health benefits available anywhere, done work before 4 pm every day, retire at 90% of their highest pay grade after only 20 years of working? That’s underpaid and overworked? No, no it is not underpaid or overworked. What is tenure for, other than to prevent bad teachers from getting fired for cause? Is there some reason to believe schools would fire good teachers for no reason? they have a union, they could always challenge a firing if it was arbitrary or baseless, tenure serves no purpose other than to keep bad teachers working for the sake of the union being able to swell its ranks.
      yeah, if we don’t shut up, open our wallets, and pour all our money into the endless pit of wasteful spending on public schools, all our children will become retards. because we all know that public schools always spend their budgets wisely, and every extra dollar always produces tangible results in educating children. the government always spends our tax dollars wisely and efficiently. I think only fish and damon believe those idiocies.

  20. S

    “Aren’t ten percent that are bad, though?”

    Is it surprising that a moron who thinks this is a coherent sentence would also think that we don’t need a Dept. of Education?

  21. pdan

    There’s always a cross-eyed dude in an orange shirt in the background, saying it all with his crossed eyes…

  22. AngusParvo

    Less politics, more boobs. Oh wait, I forgot we had Matt Damon here, this is a real two-for-one!

  23. Pix

    Yeah, the actual answer is because teachers can’t get paid more to do something else. If they could competitively do what they love outside of teaching and get paid more, they would.

    • S

      The turnover rate for teaching is incredibly higher, with 50% – 75% leaving for higher paying careers within four years. Try again but utilize facts this time.

      • Shmidtler

        try some facts yourself – turnover for public teachers was under 14% annually in NC over a 5 year period, only 5% of those who left their teaching jobs left to go into another non teaching career. Most left because they retired, moved, or family leave.

  24. Jennifer

    I read The Superficial just about every day, and when I don’t read it every day I catch up on old posts. I find your commentary utterly hilarious and your social comments are spot-on, but I have never felt the urge to comment on a post until now. I want to applaud you for mingling social commentary on education, human rights, etc. etc. into a blog that — one would assume — simply plays to the idiot American who only cares about celebrities and what they wear and how skinny they are so that they can simply idolize them or tear them apart for no reason at all. It’s easy to be distracted by celebrities and the ridiculous charades happening in Washington and neglect to pay attention to what’s happening right in front of your face to the people in your city, in your neighborhood, in your FAMILY. Thank you for being a sarcastic asshole — it’s totally hilarious — but the best part is the fact that this goofy celebrity blog is really written for people who read in between the lines.

  25. Tom

    I dunno. Pretty much every education major I knew back in college had no idea on what they wanted to do in life and spent their time bitching about how Mommy and Daddy didn’t send them to a party school where they could play beer pong nightly. They seemed to think it was the “easy” job, and all started whining about how terrible kids are when they actually had to go do student teaching.

    It’s sad. Teachers should be people who’re admirable, not the people who want to put off work for a few years and then complain about how awful kids are once they actually work.

  26. EricL

    Maybe if he had a better teacher he would have known that he’s misusing the word “paternalistic.”

  27. JM

    Hey Matt Damon- STFU. Shitty cameramen can be fired easier than shitty teachers. In fact, shitty teachers can get paid NOT to teach.

    http://articles.latimes.com/2009/may/06/local/me-teachers6

  28. Rick

    So I guess you’re oblivious to the fact that Matt Damon falsely claimed that teachers make a “shitty” salary. Per the DOE, the median cash salary for a teacher is $53K, which doesn’t include benefits. Per the BLS, $53K is right at the median national income, which means the pay is actually right on par with the rest of the country.

    • Justin

      Actually when you factor in all the days off teachers have, they’re quite a bit better than average. Factor in the health care package, and then you understand why “teachers are underpaid” is a myth.

  29. Matt Damon Teachers
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, this shit BURNS!

  30. Matt Damon Teachers
    Commented on this photo:

    In this picture there is some guy in the background saying someone cut the cheese with his hand to his nose.

  31. Venom

    Ha Ha Ha, Matt Damon owned that bitch and the camera man. lol

  32. Matt Damon Teachers
    Kaywoodie Sucker
    Commented on this photo:

    those are okay boobs, but I have seen better.

  33. uh huh

    More preaching by The Superficial. Great.

  34. Brad Brown

    Matt Daammon!

  35. G

    yinz are all a bunch of jag-offs

  36. The Brown Streak

    Ok, all I saw from that headline was “Boobs”…I skipped the rest of it….now where are the Boobs?

  37. the one

    he is even a more *SSKISSER with NO hairs at all?

  38. Matt

    Why is Keith Olbermann running the stories on The Superficial?

    The hollywood liberal elitist thing.. Yeah that works. Keep that up.

  39. Matt

    Average wage for a University professor = $80,000. And we all know about the summer vacations.

    Matt Damon thinks 80K is a shitty job.

    • Uncle Phil

      Colleges and universities aren’t the issue here. They are discussing elementary and secondary education. Of course a college prof. with a masters or doctorate makes 80K; most universities, even state owned ones, cost roughly 20K a year in tuition.

  40. Christopher Rasch

    Money has no bearing on people’s performance. People keep working at the same quality level regardless of how much you pay them. Those selfless teachers would still go to school and teach those kids whether they were paid $5.00/hour or $100.00/hour. Like Fish. It’s a little known fact that Fish donates 95% of the proceeds of TheSuperficial to Child Fund International, keeping only enough to pay for his laptop and ramen noodles.

    • hazmat

      You’re right Chris, what really improves job performance is constantly worrying about your job security and how to make ends meet, after all studies show that having a million troubles on your mind makes it way easier to teach kids…

      • Christopher Rasch

        Whoa, whoa, sounds like you’re saying pay has an effect on teacher performance. But how can that be? They’re not in it for the money.

  41. Duke

    Americans, just quit while you´re ahead, the Tee Party is gonna take you guys back to the Stone Age. I can see how only rich people will be literate in a couple of generations, most of the country looking like rural Alabama. Think about it.

    • Doc Schweinstrudel

      Now that you told them what to do and elightened them fully from the heights of your own education…
      I guess some things cannot be taught, simple moral things, like not to hit someone who has fallen, not to make fun of people in trouble. It just says a lot of what kind of mother and father raised you. I am sure the yanks will be greatful for your patronizing, condescending comments about your current situation and will use their vote based on what you typed.

  42. Marceelf

    I’ve seen tenure churn out some pretty shitty teachers and nursery my day. Some people will try to do a good job because that’s the way they are built inside, but for those who have no moral terptitude or ambition,tenure is a dangerous thing. Fuck the DOE, cut all those high paying government jobs and give the money to the state to put into their schools. My stepmom worked at a local level for an office of Education and the perks of the job and travel were a lot better than most companies. Having put three kids through the public & private school sector (which I had to take a second job to pay for), I can say there were a lot of burned out, lying assholes teaching. I heard teachers say things to parents that I would have been fired for as a nurse. And if you go to the Principal, he will just tell you, “they are tenured,nothing I can do.”. I look forward to hearing about Matt Damon’s kid’s experience in the public schools. Yeah, right (except maybe the step-kid). It’s easy to carry the flag when it’s not your kid’s future dying on the hill. Once again, I could give a shit about anything anyone says who claims to like Ben Affleck.

    • See, now, if you had even the slightest concept of what “terpitude” was, I might be tempted to listen to you. There are good teachers and shitty teachers, and tenure, like the civil service, saddles you with some people who never gave a shit in the first place. But at SOME point you and your kids have to do some work on your own and not lay every deficit at the feet of public education. If you read at all, you can easily have a command of language – if you don’t, you’ll be forever making gaffes like the howler above.

      There are a lot of parents who expect teachers to do their job for them outside of school, who don’t limit their kids’ TV and computer time, who prefer to be buddies with their kids rather than enforce any discipline, and then are outraged because Johnny’s still failing and know it’s because the teacher isn’t doing his/her job.. I’m not saying you’re that parent, but there are plenty of ‘em out there – just as there are also educators who are deadheading it.

      So for your own sake, please have one your kids (you know, the ones whom you had privately educated) explain to you that “turpitude” is a base act, OK? “Base” means “low, vile, depraved”. Turpitude is not some sort of ethical impulse. You actually WANT your child’s teacher to be free of it. Ambition, well, not so much.

  43. Matt Damon Teachers
    Commented on this photo:

    What a dumb piece of shit. He doesn’t know what he is talking about. Schools are dismal. Teachers do not get a shitty salary. $70 grand a year of 8 months work + 90% of salary in retirement after working 20 years. Ass wipe is a retard.

  44. Matt Damon Teachers
    Commented on this photo:

    American students rank 25th in math and 21st in science compared to students in 30 industrialized countries.
    America’s top math students rank 25th out of 30 countries when compared with
    top students elsewhere in the world. [1]
    By the end of 8th grade, U.S. students are two years behind in the math being studied by peers in other countries. [2]
    Sixty eight percent of 8th graders can’t read at their grade level, and most will
    never catch up.
    http://broadeducation.org/about/crisis_stats.html

  45. SMB

    …anyone else cracking up (or shaking their head) at all of the shitty grammar and piss-poor sentence structure from all of the political scholars advocating doing away with the dept. of education? …as bart simpson would say; “the ironing is delicious.”

    • Shmidtler

      no, I’m laughing at the morons who post crap like you – that somehow, the idiocy and poor grammer is in spite of the DOE that has been around long enough to share some of the responsibilty for the lack of education of those whose stupidity you cite as proof we need to keep pouring more money into the DOE. If they were doing anything worthwhile with all that money, you wouldn’t have idiots posting crap with so many grammatical errors. But yeah, of course, given the horrendous results produced by the DOE, we should give them more money. More money is the answer to every problem, isn’t it? Here in NJ we spend more money per year to send a retarded kid to public school than it costs to send a Rhodes scholar to Oxford. We have over 300 school districts, every one of them employs at least one principal and one superintendant. That’s more school districts, principals and superintendants than NY, PA and DE combined. But yeah, Gov. Christie only wants to cut that back because he hates kids, just like all Republicans hate kids. Because we don’t have kids. We’re all fabulously wealthy monacle and top hat wearing bazillionaires that send our kids to private boarding schools in Switzerland. All of us. Who doesn’t like having their hard earned money taken away and spent wastefully, with no good results to show for it? Yes, we’re all jerks for objecting to that.

  46. lori

    You are simply AWESOME.

  47. RexSeven

    Do the “long hours” include June, July and August used to bitch and protest every year?

  48. I think it’s just awesome that public school teachers get paid even when their schools have abysmally low graduation rates. Way to work the sympathy, union assholes.

  49. Toortle

    The Department of Education hasn’t improved education in this country. In fact, since the ED was established, education productivity and test scores have remained statistically static. And that’s even with ED’s incentives system to pressure school districts into teaching to the test (the worst education policy imaginable) and the fact that even as the ED has failed to actually improve education, federal education expenditures have skyrocketed since the inception of the ED (throwing money into the fire).

    http://www.libertyjuice.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/educationspending.jpg

    Imagine if even half of that wasted money were allocated to local ED voucher programs, which have been proven to raise education productivity in the districts in which they’ve been tried. Really, the ones who support the ED are the ones who care very little about America’s education systems, and are typically undereducated boneheads themselves who feel secure in the fantasy that supporting an institution called the “Department of Education” must mean that they support a robust education mandate (after all, if it’s called the “Department of Education”, it must be doing splendid, right??). Just stupid.

    I know, facts get in the way of the ironically uneducated, feel-good delusion that the ED is good for America’s education system, but the delusion won’t change the facts, and neither will the simple-minded mockery of opinions based on those facts.

    There’s a reason that private schools uniformly outperform public schools in every school district in the United States.

    • the only way to improve schools is to privatize them all, get rid of unions and make them competitive. These “oh, public schools are awesome” assholes really need to get a clue.

      OK, back to tit and ass comments.

  50. Donald Trump

    What a complete asshat. Teachers have shitty pay? Really? What planet does this douche bag live on? Maybe a $50-$75,000 salary (with benefits for LIFE) is shitty compared to the money he makes, but it’s a better deal than most of the working smucks in America!

    • Not you

      The median salary for teachers in the US is only around 40k

      • Nobody twisted anybody’s arm to go to college for 4-6 years for a teaching degree only to get into such a “low paying” job.

        I think you also forgot to consider the full benefit package ON TOP of that “shitty” salary. I’m not crying for teachers.

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