Mary-Kate Olsen wants immunity in Heath Ledger investigation

August 4th, 2008 // 46 Comments

Mary-Kate Olsen is refusing to be interviewed by federal investigators about Heath Ledger’s accidental overdose until she’s granted immunity from prosecution. This latest move proves what I’ve always feared: Pauly Shore knew something relevant when he claimed the Olsen twins are diabolical. May God have mercy on us all. The New York Post reports:

The actress’ lawyer has repeatedly rebuffed attempts by the feds to question Olsen, who was the first person called after her masseuse discovered Ledger’s body in his SoHo apartment in January.
Frustrated federal officials could obtain a grand-jury subpoena to compel the funky “Full House” actress to tell them whatever she knows about the “Dark Knight” star’s behavior, his possible drug use and the events of that fateful morning, according to sources.
Probers have interviewed everyone connected to Ledger and his death, including his doctors, the masseuse, bodyguards, housekeepers, business associates and even the mother of his 2-year-old daughter, Matilda, his “Brokeback Mountain” co-star Michelle Williams.
“Ms. Williams was extremely nice and cooperative,” a source said.

And by nice and cooperative, the source meant Michelle Williams grabbed an FBI agent by the collar and yelled “It was Mary-Kate Olsen, you sonofabitch! I’ll have your badge for breakfast.” But no one ever suspects the Olsen twins – until it’s too late. Christ, they’re still looking for Bob Saget’s body.

EDIT: Turns out Bob Saget is still alive. I’m as shocked as you are.

Thanks to Liz who won’t watch Full House without the lights on and a priest handy.


  1. ihatework

    Figures… that skinny bitch is up to no good…

  2. yabadabadude

    Did she also steal his precious ring?

  3. ph7

    She already has immunity from breasts, so why not?

  4. Mr. Sleepyhead

    Why are the Feds involved? Generally a death in a city like New York would be investigated by NYPD and the Feds would never be involved.

    Federal involvement tells me a criminal activity crossed state lines. It sounds like there is more to this than being reported.

    And the fact that tool Paulie Shore makes this even more disturbing.

  5. geto

    For a tiny, skinny girl with no current career, she sure seems to have lots of money and is huge in the Manhattan party circuit. I wonder what her magic is..

  6. woodhorse

    Maybe she did give him the Oxycontin that killed him but he wanted it, asked for it, maybe even took it without asking — the Feds being involved can only be Big Brother/Thought Police and I do not approve. (For what that’s worth.)

  7. deeeeeyam.. does this mean she has something to worried about? could one of the snow white (troll) princesses have a smudge?

    the plot thickens :D

  8. Dr. John Blackheart

    this is fishy, an Olsen twin

  9. mafme

    Stop! Subpoena time!

  10. KG

    “For a tiny, skinny girl with no current career, she sure seems to have lots of money and is huge in the Manhattan party circuit. I wonder what her magic is..”

    Uh, her “magic” is a net worth in the hundreds of millions. That buys a lot of popularity.

  11. Mary Kate Olson is a little midget monster posing as a human. A famous human, no less.

  12. FBI

    Hey, Superficial Writer! You wrote, “Accidental overdose.” That has yet to be determined. Better watch you’re back.

    Anyway, heath ledger killed himself on purpose, just like cobane. wussy.

  13. Ted from LA

    Bob Saget’s comedy routine died 15 years ago.

  14. veggi

    Hey, leave her alone! She’s a double-mastectomized breast cancer survivor. Isn’t she?

  15. She probably gave him the drugs.

  16. james

    immunity? ok let her have it.
    lets see her naked too, just for the heck of it

  17. Dave

    They have a theory about how Heath died from a multi-drug suppository AND one of her rings was found in his rectum. They just need her to confirm it.

  18. jo smo

    She’s worth a billion $ so she likely has the good stuff, gave it to heath and now she’s scared.

  19. Blah

    she actually looks more normal here; a little more like her twin Ashley, and sort of like Hayden Panettiere…maybe they had the same “nose” doctor? But she’s still a litte freaky, scary troll if you ask me; Never saw what all the appeal was over these Olsen twins. But whats going on with the strange camel-toe pleat in her dress???

  20. havoc

    She’s no dummy.

    You want me to talk? Here are my terms.

    She knows what she’s doing….


  21. sameshitdifferentyear

    I just wish my eyes had immunity to the Olsens.

    And I usually don’t make comments on clothing, but this one is too ridiculous. The force is not with you Luke. Definitely not with you.

    #13 Really? When was it alive?

    #11 You are more right than you think. The intergalactic alien takeover has begun, one albino chimpanzee clone at a time……

  22. The gorgeous one

    What the fuck ever.

    Even if she gave him the injection herself, she is never going to get prosecuted. She probably will have the devil himself represent her.

    The only people that care about this story, are probably the same poser assholes who dressed up like “The Crow” in the 90′s. This whole Heath Ledger thing was probably the best thing to happen to them. Now they have a use for the vasts full of white grease paint they have in their basement, (or closet, fags.)

  23. FatDrunkAndStupid

    Yeah, as nice as Mary Kate Olsen killing Heath Ledger would be, I really don’t think there is anything to this story. God knows what the Feds want, but I doubt Mary Kate has anything interesting at all to tell them. But she does have very good lawyers who wisely advised her to keep her mouth shut. There is never, ever, any reason to voluntarily cooperate with a Federal Investigation. Only poor people and complete saps do that.

  24. meredith

    actually, surprisingly enough, bob sagat IS alive, and set to be roasted on comedy central sometime soon. it maye be interesting and slightly amusing considering the bawdy, ridiculously tawdry and inappropriate sense of humor he actually has.

  25. spindoc

    Awwww, how nice, all her stuff was in the laundry so she borrowed a dress from Rosie O’donnell to wear.

  26. Smarter than You

    Wow #13, the FBI is getting smarter and smarter. Youd think with all those amazing resources they’d be able to find the correct spelling of Kurt COBAIN.

    Instead of calling yourself FBI you might want to go back and get your GED.

    Just sayin.

  27. TOOL

    Funky actress is an understatement.
    Ashley is the real killer.

  28. Uncle Eccoli

    @4 Apparently, they suspect there were federal crimes – such as transporting illegally-prescribed/obtained drugs across state lines, for example – surrounding his death.

  29. michelle

    Does ANYONE else think she looks like Jen from The Dark Crystal??? My friend has no idea what I mean, cuz she didn’t see the movie…


  30. hmm

    She didn’t kill him, but is probably involved somehow in the drugs that did.

    Obviously she knows she can be charged with something, otherwise why would she want immunity?

  31. michelle

    Ooops… I meant Kira, not Jen.
    Whatever, THE GIRL ONE!!!!!

  32. Jay

    Maybe she doesn’t want to be the object of a witch hunt.

  33. fuck I hate these greesy slut bitches

    I fucking always knew these midget pirate hookers were pure evil, I mean look at them children of the corn much. Squirrely little goblin whores, their faces make me cringe and their “boddies” are just plain vomit worthy. Fucking little skanks even use real fur in their line, I mean how can they sell out their fellow animal. PLUS they are billionaires and ALL BILLIONAIRES ARE FUCKING EVIL.
    Even on Full House it was obvious that they were little terrors, always sporting those shit eating grins and those fucking crazy eyes, I pity their costars. If they ever marry men, their husbands should have to turn in their penises, give those things to someone who deserves ‘em. Heck let Superfish have a second one, he’ll get better use of it then any man who would subject himself to one of these DNA disasters. Women do not have sex with a dead monkey you’ll end up having twins that look at act like these things.

  34. danno

    “The Jokeress”.


  35. Truth doctor

    Come on everyone.

    Why so serious?

  36. friendlyfires

    I’m supping with Bob Saget, now. Not only is he very much alive, he has the filthiest mind and mouth on this planet. This guy would make the corpse of George Carlin blush.
    But the sirloin, it is delicious, the peas and carrots, tender, the whipped potatoes – to die for.

  37. Sheva

    In order for Heath to give the midget permission to smoke his tool, he made her give him drugs so he wouldn’t freak out and think it was a little dude freak from the circus.

    Two of the drugs were not prescription in Heath’s possession. Phone calls made to her seem to suggest that the staff knew they had been together. Otherwise why would they call HER, when the guy is clearly turning the ghost.

    Her lawyers will not allow her to explain any of it least she be handed some culpability for the drug cocktail that did the poor guy in.

    That’s why she’s demanding immunity. And the Feds probably don’t have sufficient evidence to put the little midget down. But they may play this out a bit.

    Watch the press over the next week or so to see what ‘facts’ of the case and the little breastless midget’s role in this really was.

    And then watch her publicist(s) scream bloody murder.

  38. FYI:

    That’s a pic of Ashley, NOT Mary Kate… Mary Kate has thinner lips and darker hair.

  39. M

    38: It’s Mary-Kate

  40. GET BACK



  41. She can even looking worse than this?

  42. LOL, 49. Um, Okay.

  43. Nick

    Even if the midget bitch herself forcefully shoved the oxycontin down his throat they wouldn’t dare prosecute her.

  44. naomi hamm

    of course you can never ever date, just call em iditios. we girls prefer e t s anyway.

    zooming on the nosmo0ke allowed zone.

  45. naomi hamm

    of course you can never ever date, just call em iditios. we girls prefer e t s anyway.

    zooming on the nosmo0ke allowed zone.

  46. naomi hamm

    of course you can never ever date, just call em iditios. we girls prefer e t s anyway.

    zooming on the nosmo0ke allowed zone.

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