Mary-Kate Olsen makes out with strangers


20-year-old Mary-Kate Olsen was spotted at Bungalow 8 Tuesday night “weaving around and kept falling off the banquettes she was dancing on.” A rep for Mary-Kate insists she’s sober and declined comment, but a source adds:

“She made out with three random guys and was wearing a Mardi Gras mask.”

She was wearing a Mardi Gras mask? How could anybody fucking tell? And who is looking at this face thinking to themselves, “You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna make out with the clown monster in the corner.” Did they lose a dare? Or maybe they were so drunk they thought they were dead and this was Satan coming for their eternal soul.