Mary-Kate Olsen is a Muppet, or a Jedi – or both, I dunno

October 16th, 2007 // 60 Comments

When I first looked at this picture, I thought, oh, hey, awesome Master Yoda. Maybe he’ll do some crazy lightsaber attacks or something. But then I looked closely, and, man, it’s Mary-Kate Olsen. That’s like meeting a hot girl and having her promise you an evening of “lots of naked stuff.” Only you get her home, turn on the lights, and holy shit, it’s Tara Reid – with her shirt off. Why does the left one look like that – oh, dude, your stomach. Put your shirt back on. Please. I have a very full stomach and a heart condition.


  1. PunkA

    Obi Wan Boy Obi?

    Or is Qui Gonorhea Gin?

    Princess Gaya?

  2. Katman

    The guy that writes the comments is a freaking riot! Too dam funny….

  3. supes

    The uselessness is strong with this one.

  4. cashitin

    It looks like something that crawled out of Paris’ snatch or maybe #2′s snatch.

  5. Yeah Tara Reid is fine with her shirt on, with a pretty face like that to fuck who needs the rest of her? Mary-Kate Olsen, OK with the lights off. It’s Halloween soon so that would take the edge off.

  6. She’s even dressed like Yoda.

  7. Riotboy


    /everyday is Halloween for her

  8. so2315

    Why does it seem like the Olsen’s cannot garner a smile? I mean they NEVER smile, and their lips are always in the same position. I cannot imagine how they would ever get a cock in between those lips!!!

  9. She has lovely eyes

    You are drawn towards her happy gaze

  10. cashitin

    This story could be called “Smeagol goes to Prom”.

  11. Fit, Petite, and Happy

    Typical anorexic flake; thinks she is fat so she wears fat clothes.

  12. The Cougar

    #11 lol!

    I can wait to get me some!

  13. jacknasty

    She has always dressed like a crazy person…nothin new

    she is pretty damn good on Weeds though. “Baaaaa”

  14. lolomomopopo

    Um, yeah….that’s Ashley Olsen.

  15. lola

    Fish you are a riot…..I love you!

  16. Johnny

    OK, I’m no longer interested in that three-way. Ashley, leave your sister at home, please.

  17. Petite

    Why the Goth look? That eye makeup looks so horrible on her!
    I never thought about the ano/fat clothes theory #14 mentioned. They both completely cover themselves in layers of large clothes!

  18. keri

    Why can’t I stop looking at her nose?
    Her nose really stands out for some reason even though pretty much everything about the photo/look is horrible and demands attention.

    Somehow it all keeps coming back to the nose?

  19. George

    She is such a disgusting varmint.

  20. George

    # 20

    The reason her makeup looks Goth like is because she must be a heroin or crack addict to be so thin and have those sunken eyes. It’s not the makeup on the girl, it is her face.

  21. cookie monsta

    eeewwwwwww, eat a frikken sandwich mantis boy.

  22. Auntie Kryst

    I don’t know, not getting a Star Wars vibe from her. More like Total Recall. If Quatal (sp?) could get all out of that other guys body and walk around that would be her.

  23. Snarky McComments

    She looks like the monster I used to imagine was living under my bed when I was a kid…..

  24. James

    She looks great! She and her sister are the most fashionable people in Hollywood.

  25. Missystar

    Greasy skin, ratty hair, ugly clothes.

  26. georgia

    her head is wider than her waist… lol

  27. Igottabemeee

    Yeesh! It looks like she died and the mortician pried her eyes open and stood her up for the photo shoot.

  28. Narcissist

    When 9,000,000,000 years old you reach, look as good you will not… mmm?

    I think they’re cute, and they don’t seem to be drunk and naked all the time.

    Weren’t they both dressing nice for a while? The other one still dresses nice, doesn’t she? These burlap sacks and dirty bedsheets aren’t part of their Wal-Mart fashion line, are they?

    It has an elephant on it. Maybe she’s Paul McCartneys spiritual guide.

  29. mimang

    she kinda looks like a lost soul. i *kinda* feel sorry for her.

  30. Snarky McComments

    It’s lifeless black eyes stared back at the silent masses, it’s dwarfish proto-head slowly turning left and then right. Finally it’s bloated lips moved, quivered really, and the creature spoke in an eerie hissing tone, “Do not be afraid, earthlings. I am MaryKateosis from the planet Smurftron. Take me to your leader”.

    The frozen crowd seemed to sense as one the magnitude of the evil before it. For the briefest of moments they wavered, seduced by the tone of the creatures voice. Then they broke and fled in terror….

  31. Riley

    She looks GREAT!
    love her

  32. Princess Orly.. too bad what happend to the cute little FullHouse twins

  33. IKE

    Can little kids dress as her for HALLOWEEN?
    She looks like she’s got a slight JOKER smile going on.


  34. gerard Vandenberg

    JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE!! It looks to me that this girl won’t survive this week. She looks so extremely unhealthy, she can give one or better two hands to amy winebubble!! Maybe she’s working lately……………….as a crack whore, who knows?

  35. MrsP

    Mary-Kate, my Tacky Jewish Grandma From Palm Beach called. She wants her rings and purse and big belt back.

  36. Kim

    OK. She does look a little on the deceased side, but on the other hand, I LOVE that snake necklace she is wearing. Everything else, Blech!

  37. Kim

    And #17 I think you’re right that is Ashley, She is the less grotesque one.

  38. gerard Vandenberg

    Please look again………………………………………………….. E.T. is back!!

  39. Nick

    She’s practicing for her role as a street urchin in a Dickens novel. Duh.

  40. V

    That’s wrong. Jack Skeleton wears BLACK tuxedo, not white (or whatever that colour is)

  41. Dick Richards

    Monster! Kate’s the boogeyman from my dreams! Quick, somebody, for-the love-of god, skewer a fucking stake through her black heart! She’s, now, even worse than that witch from Fleetwood-Mac.

  42. Ali

    Ghost or what?!

  43. lola

    what the fuck…….

  44. Meat_fart

    Why does she always look like she just threw up? Oh. Yeah. Because she just threw up.

  45. She Looks like a “Troll Doll”!

  46. EuroPainInTheButt

    Aw, I recognize the Mac Donald’s poster girl. Made me wonder for a while, why does Mac Donald’s advertise these girls on posters like everyone is supposed to know them ? We did not have the series on TV over here (it was a series, wasn’t it ?). Must have been a pretty bad series, because we use to buy all the trash coming from America sooner or later and this one did not reach us.

  47. EuroPainInTheButt

    Mascara AND khol are not supposed to be worn together. Khol alone is enough. If you’re blonde with blue eyes, mascara is better.

  48. tiare

    # 30 lol you hit the nail on the head …*perfect description*

  49. I guess her diet of unbaptized babies and cocaine is working out wonderful for her. She is living up to the epitome of the ‘bratz’ generation. She actually almost looks like one of those creepy whore dolls except they have MORE curves.

  50. donnalynn

    Death in a potato bag.

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