Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen model for Badgley Mischka

February 16th, 2006 // 129 Comments

Here are Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, wandering through the halls of the Overlook Hotel. They’re supposedly modeling something. Perhaps anorexia. Definitely not breast implants. Remember that big countdown to their eighteenth birthday, when everyone thought they were going to be so gorgeous? And then the birthday came and the world collectively scratched their heads, because screwing them seems about as pleasant as screwing the vacuum cleaner. At least the vacuum doesn’t complain when you use a marker to draw boobs on it.


  1. Georgia

    I don’t get these girls. They are just rich. I see better looking girls walking down the street.

    And they are defenitely not sexy, unless you are a pedophile of course.

  2. I said….Goddamn, those are some seriously airbrushed hobbits.

  3. Juliette

    I never understood people who say they are pretty or hot. They have about as much appeal as a broomstick. On top of that they have zero personality and always look like spoiled bitches.

    And I hate that stupid duck smile they always do.

  4. Jacq

    The best comparison to make between the Olsens and a vaccum cleaner is that they all suck at life

  5. suzy

    their dresses are ok, but their makeup is HIDEOUS!!!! They’re clothing line has better clothes than they actually wear… that’s sad when a 5 year old can dress better than you

  6. Zanna

    Get a load of the picture in the url: Heyyyy, this is a nice big mirror to do lines on!!!!! I’ve seen healthier hair on homeless people coming out of a dumpster.

  7. Binky

    From their facial expressions – it looks like they’ll both have to put ‘bodily functions’ on their wish list for next Christmas.

  8. krahe

    *Are* we certain that they’re still actually, you know, alive?

  9. outfoxed

    #3…I don’t know about that, broomsticks are pretty sexy.

  10. Zanna

    You think the makeup is bad on that, Suzy? Check this out:

    It reminds me of silly putty. Tell me when you see this picture you don’t want to press her face on some newspaper.

  11. LaydeeBug

    Great dresses, but why are there two five-year-olds wearing them? Bedknobs and Broomsticks comes to mind.

  12. Devil Is Chrome

    #10 pictures – She’s starting to look like the Lioness of New York…


    I wish it were possible to fast forward thirty years.

  13. pookiedoo

    They look like a Buy-One-Get-One-Free special at Heidi Fleiss’s House Of Whores!

  14. SAPPY14

    is it bad that i think they look really pretty? my only problem is marykate’s eyebrows, they looks like melted crayons.

    #13 probably the funniest thing i’ve ever seen i love it

  15. SAPPY14

    also, why does ashley have two purses??

  16. xavierout

    They’re creepy now, they’ve been creepy for years and they’ll be creepy forevermore. The vacancy of the expression that is always on their faces makes Paris Hilton look contemplative in comparison. Did I mention that they’re really creepy? I did? Well they are.

  17. Havet

    I don’t care about the twins much… I just really like those dresses!! esp the ones in #10.
    the twins just look wierd… But well, even when they were in ‘full house’ i never thought they were that cute.
    and how can u hav such HUGE eyes?! it doesnt look normal!

  18. elvindeath

    I’d fuck ‘em.

  19. LaydeeBug

    #16, ones a purse the other is her big assed bumble bee sunglasses.

  20. PinkRose

    That picture reminds me of that scene from The Shining, where the twins are at the end of the hallway calling out to the son.


  21. Who knew Olive Oil had a twin sister? Anyway, Superficial guy, or whoever it is who writes this blog…I just gotta say that your comment about the vacuum not complaining when you draw boobs on it was just about the funniest damn thing I’ve read. Thanks for that “Almost gonna pee” feeling.

  22. baltogirl

    which one is which?

  23. PostAcidYouth

    I dunno, the Olsen on the left is quite a pretty little thing. I don’t care for the twins much, but they’re not ugly

  24. I think they are just great.
    Mary-kate is the red-head.

  25. suzy

    Posted by Zanna on February 16, 2006 03:28 PM

    “Get a load of the picture in the url: Heyyyy, this is a nice big mirror to do lines on!!!!! I’ve seen healthier hair on homeless people coming out of a dumpster.


  26. memichelle77

    I scanned the picture for a nip slip, and i don’t think there is one. however, even more shocking is that when you look at Ashley from the side (not at her reflection), it actually looks like she has boobs. what the hell?

  27. LaydeeBug

    26 & 27, it’s the strapless, push-up bra she’s wearing. They are made for boob-challenged people like her (and me).

  28. em167

    Psh, I think they look great. Mary-Kate looks healthier than she has in a while, and Ashley is just beautiful. I mean, I think this site is hilarious, but, come on, there’s no story here. Post some more stuff on Tom Nutso Cruise

  29. ShanDourdan

    Forget just boobs, it actually looks like she may actually be female, she’s got an arse too?. I guess that must be real since most photographers try to airbrush that stuff *out* not in…

    I love the dresses, I think they’re stunning and dare I say it, I actually think Ashley looks good in the first one. But I just wish she’d quit with the ‘deer caught in a head light with exceedingly pouty lips’ look. Ecch.

  30. playahater101

    I think they look pretty good, too. The makeup’s a little too much. They look kinda like those little girls that mothers put in beauty pageants when they are like 5 years old.

    #1, “I don’t get these girls. They are just rich. I see better looking girls walking down the street”

    What’s the difference between them and any other celeb? Paris isn’t any better. All any of them are is rich.

  31. suzy

    eh, you never know.. it woulda been funny i was only shocked cuz i know they dont have boobies lol….

    still… funny

  32. Phil

    “Hello Danny. Come and play with us. Come and play with us, Danny. Forever… and ever… and ever.

  33. maiira



    Holy christ, for a second there I thought I was watching a twisted version of The Shining. Or some weird Japanese horror flick. They seriously look like they’re going to reach through my screen and pull me into some dark underworld. And then they would turn their heads slowly to look at me and whisper “you are one of usssssss.”

  34. J. Te

    Was that picture, by any chance, inspired by THIS picture:

  35. tits_on_snack

    i posted the Shining picture first, so, neener neener.
    Anyway these two have always weirded me out. When they were little kids, their faces looked like those good luck troll dolls.

  36. I don’t like the current style of overloading the dark makeup on the eyes.

    When that first came out in the magazines, I remember thinking ‘why would you want to make women look like ghouls?’

    Now, it’s all over the place, and it’s revolting.

  37. TheRedInk

    History’s Mysteries: Haunted Hotels

  38. dimestoredetective

    I love it when celebs complain about how hard it is to be in the limelight etc. att the time. When, after one semester at college crushes them, sends them packing. And these bitches don’t have to worry about rent, and food as we all did. I really feel for these girls. It’s so hard to be filthy rich and gnomish. Gnome gnome gnome.

  39. alicat

    I’m starting to wonder what is wrong with their mouths. Has anyone seen them smile since Full House? Did they catch some horrible disease that transformed their teeth and tongues into something only Beetlejuice would touch? Or Stavros…which isn’t saying much since he has moved on to Paris.

  40. HughJorganthethird

    This fucking picture is freaking me out. It looks like a scene shot from “The Others 2″

  41. Lavis

    Remeber the movie “The Shining” and those evil twins that kept showing up in the hallways of the haunted hotel? Yeah, scary!

  42. eatyourfeedback

    Good God, the likeness to the Overlook Hotel is amazing! At any moment they will be saying “Come play with us Danny…forever and ever and ever!” All they need are matching dresses.

    I’ve never found anything particularly attractive about the Olsen twins and, for that matter, I don’t know any men who find them to be anything extraordinary either. There is something distinctly monkey-ish about their facial features.

  43. SMF121490

    21 That is exactly what I thought when I first saw the photo. REDRUM REDRUM

  44. downshine

    the duck smile makes me want to slit my wrists! and since when did 5foot2inch pre-pubescent girls become models?

  45. HollyJ

    I hate to say it…but I think they look very pretty in this particular shot. The blonde has the prettiest face but her hair sucks. Dark hair is better.

    I haven’t seen them look this “feminine” in…well…ever… Despite the complete titlessness.

  46. kuennen sux

    Are these chicks happy?

  47. MP$40

    They look like coked out prom whores!

  48. manunited

    One monkey carries 2 handbags…one with 12 candy bars inside… the other bag to throw up into once candy bars have been inhaled.

  49. MP$40

    Courtney Love’s secret love twins! ROFL…

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