Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen still scary as hell

March 13th, 2007 // 133 Comments





  1. DrPhowstus

    @100 — I made that point already, so I wholeheartedly agree. To paraphrase Bill, “a skank by any other name would smell as fishy”. I’d like to slap dick to each of their mouths and see which of them would get the fattest lips. Fuck, we can make it a contest. Then I’d like to ruin their lives by convincing one to get Jordan-sized tits while the other retreats further and further toward her karma: a Park Avenue penthouse full of cats with diamond collars and a snatch as dried and wrinkled as a prune. That’s when I’d make my move again.

  2. #66 8ballL<3VER

    You asked that if bones are ugly why every runway from Milan to PAris was full of models that were skeletons. Well I got news for you…it’s because STRAIGHT GUYS don’t control who walks the runways.

    Ask yourself this question, what magazines to straight men read? MAXIM, Playboy, etc… now, what magazines do those skeleton models pose in? Vogue, Glamour, and who reads those? Not straight guys thats for damn sure.

    So when you sit there on your anorexic ass, the only people you are impressing is other Anorexic women like Ana Wintour, but most guys think you look like a scragley boney piece of shit.

  3. beifiori

    suzy (number 13) I would bet they do need rehab. they look like meth junkies…and what is with that weird pooching of the mouth thing???? do they think they look sexy doing that???? are they THAT delusional??? they are just creepy. I bet a lot of mothers who pushed their daughters into adoring them when they were younger are now revolted by all the money they spent on these two fish-lipped junkies. they were ugly babies, ugly teens and ugly adults, so i don’t get why people think they are so great…what do they do? they are famous for what exactly? they have no talent beyond chain-smoking, bed-banging and hag-looking. they brag about being so stylish without the benefit of a stylist. riiiiiiiight! they SERIOUSLY need to consider hiring a stylist…hell, rachel zoe would probably jump at the chance;they already have one requirement down, they don’t eat.

  4. DrPhowstus

    @102 — Spindoc, it’s gonna take you a week to get your boot out of 8ballL<3VER’s ass. Excellent point.

  5. BarbadoSlim

    Nice point Spindoc, and I would like to add how the International Fashion industry is controlled by a bunch of hetero-hating elitist faggots. From top to bottom.

  6. Jillia

    the “thing” on the left looks like the spawn of Christina Aguilera and the Crow gone horribly wrong…

  7. anothershityear

    looks like there’s a new “tween” market they can tap into now

    ‘tween the living and the dead

  8. pancakes

    they were cute in mary-kate and ashley go to paris…then came the eating disorders!and who the hell told these girls they were fashion icons?one is wearing a pleather jacket+the other has her scraped in2 a bun trailer trash style..ugh.

  9. anothershityear

    … since they already have the ‘tween human and chimp market cornered….

  10. anothershityear

    which fucking one is supposed to be “the good looking” one again???

  11. EvilEm

    For the love of God…Will these two just disappear already!!! YUCK! What jokes!!

  12. kate

    “I’m a little surprised nobody took them out back and beat them to death with croissants.”

    I just laughed my ass off when I read that.

    These two are heinous.

  13. #110 They look the same to me…so…niether?
    Let’s all just be grateful these two didn’t go the route the other child stars did and put out albums that make our ears bleed (i.e. Lohan, Duff, Hilton-wait Hilton doesn’t count as a child star…)

  14. p911gt10c

    The Beautiful People! Beautiful People!

  15. stixx

    Dualstar REALLY needs to get Enron-ed

    Then in 10 years when they run out of money they’ll revert to being semi-attractive gold diggers, because meth-heads can’t pull guys like Stavros. Seriously. That dude got out JUST in time.

  16. Ramblebrook

    @99- stonerose… You win. I give up. I don’t want anything to do with vampire bagladies.

  17. CarnieWilson

    #66 I totally agree with you on the whole bones, they are really hard to get, I mean first you have to be conceived and then born, and you gotta drink milk to keep them suckers hard.

  18. Budafudawuda

    I saw that photo and actually thought the post was about Goldie Hawn. That’s not good at any age. But especially not 20.

  19. sh0t0kan

    HollyJ… thats the funniest shit i read all day

  20. belle

    Do they have makeup and fashion stylists? Because if so, they should be tortured to death.

  21. V

    3. Posted by HollyJ on March 13, 2007 12:18 PM

    It’s Killer Clown from Outer Space VS Return of the Living Dead


  22. MissAntithesis

    Good Gawd. Have they ever heard of… I dunno… blush? Bronzer? THE SUN?

  23. herbiefrog

    …who wasnt in love with morticia

    and ashley has been trying recently…
    to be the hot one…

    why are all the daughters acting out ?

  24. iknowyoulikeme

    Ashley used to look somewhat normal. But Mary-kate clearly just doesn’t give a shit about promoting good self image. Maybe she doesn’t give a shit about her company. She’s got her money out of all the teeny boppers and now she can feel free to dress like the old woman from ‘The Others’ and do as many drugs as she likes.

  25. Nemesis


    Where’s Kate Beckinsale to slice these two Lycand bitches up?!

  26. nFILtr8

    The one on left is the spawn of Anna Nicole S and The Crow. The one on the right belongs to Angelina J and Derek Zoolander.

  27. Bongo

    Do they ever show their teeth? Probably, but you only see them as they are about to plunge into your neck.

  28. Bongo

    Do they ever show their teeth? Probably, but you only see them as they are about to plunge into your neck.

  29. spawn of echo

    it looks like they’re doing the renee zellweger thing.

  30. mojo

    i still bang mary Mary-kate, im always like this chicks that look like heroin from a 60´s horror movies, about the other little fuck, forget about it!, she looks like daisy duck in leather

  31. Narcissist

    18 – I thought they looked simian when they were little, too. Planet of the Olsens.
    That turds got a cigarette in second pic from bottom.

    Ashley looks embarrassed. “We’re not sure what’s wrong with her.”

  32. Olsen Twins look like a couple of troll dolls. Remember those?

  33. sharibelle

    could it be that all of the above comments are from ppl who are without the money they have so they choose to slag these young n beautiful women, no wonder these poor girls are nt eating n trying to make themselves look hot even wen they are beautiful , u lot need to catch urselves on ….. fame n fortube is meant for you or not, ur all just jelous, im pooer than all of u and u dnt see me slagging her …..

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