Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen still scary as hell

March 13th, 2007 // 133 Comments
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superficial

  1. Morticia

    So I didn’t notice the very pronounced duck lips in the earlier pictures – did they train their lips to do that? Perhaps they used a vice?

  2. Ted...From LA

    Joker, Joker, Joker

  3. MrSemprini

    Eyes… can’t resist… eyes. Eyes.. tell me what.. to do. Must buy new… shoes. Mary-Kate… and Ashley… shoes. Must wear… ugly clothes…

  4. itspat

    they’ll have successful careers eventually – when they’re 60 they can star in a new series of “Leprechaun” movies.

  5. Lobo

    These two creatures look an awful lot like ’70′s Olympic gymnasts from Russia. Hollow eyes,skinny,and underdeveloped, and the vain attempts at makeup that fail miserably.On second thought though, they actually just look French.

  6. I’m confused. which is which? One looks like shes all paranoid and on crack, the other looks like she should be telling fortunes with Cleo. What the hell happened to these two?

  7. RunningWithCarsAndBoysWithScissors

    I’m telling you. Mary Kate is the witch from Big Fish!

  8. fightgrrrl

    #10- Totally agree. The Jocker’s offspring.

    What’s about Ashley’s eyes in the third pic? O__o
    Oh my god, she’s trying to kill someone with her x-ray eyes!!

    I wish they would stop doing that stupid thing with their lips (look like an ape begging for a kiss)

  9. 8ballL<3VER

    I dont know what the heck is up with everyone. Im fucking 5 4 and 98 lbs and i worked HARD for this!! You know you all want it and yyall are just jealous!!!

    AND BONES ARE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!! you dont know what its like to wake up to a a sunken stomach below your hipbones and knowing everyone is always staring at you!!!!

    <3<3<3 Olsens

    Lindsey!

  10. abdomtv

    That’s The Beginning Of A New Dawn…
    DAWN OF The DEAD!!!
    HAhahahaha

  11. Matthew

    Cocaine’s a hell of a drug.

  12. 8ballL<3VER

    WHY YES IT IS!!!!!! :)

  13. Shanipie

    So what the hell is up with that face they are always making? That weird pout thing? No one smiles like that. Have they trained their mouthes into doing it to make us think they have sexy naturally pouty lips? Cuz we all know they don’t.

  14. Shanipie

    8ballL<3VER !!!

    Your a friggin moron. Men do not think that is hot at all. Why would you wanna fuck someone you were afraid you were gonna break in half? I am NOT saying men like cubby girls, but thin with some curves…thats feminine and that is sexy. You sound like an anorexic nasty ass twit, can’t wait till you die of kidney failure.

    HAHA your a skank!

  15. BarbadoSlim

    “AND BONES ARE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!! you dont know what its like to wake up to a a sunken stomach below your hipbones and knowing everyone is always staring at you!!!!”

    I don’t know what you were going for here but, I’m guessing it wasn’t for sexy.

    skank

  16. 8ballL<3VER

    Who said anything about guys????!!!

    And if bones are so ‘hideous’ then why is every runway from milan to paris adorned with ‘skeletons’, and THEY are fukin gorgeous?????? yah.. news flash, Bones are HARD AS SHIT to get and NOT MANY PEOPLE CAN GET THEM, NO WILLPOWER!! and once you have em you appreciate em. its a nice feeling having something only a select few can get, and the more bones you have, the more respect you get. yall are not in the circle sry.

  17. NipsyHustle

    aren’t these girls 19 or 20? god they look worn out. i guess “vampire” is the new look this year.

  18. Shanipie

    8ballL<3VER…Your writing sucks ass. You need to eat a Damn Sammich!

    Oh and btw people stare at you when your out because they are afraid your about to die and they might have to resuscitate you. Then they ponder “oh crap if I have to revive this skinny ass skank, will I break her ribs in the process? Gross! I’ll just let her die”

    And most guys do not find supermodels attractive. The reason they are models to begin with is because the designers are trying to show off the clothes. So what better way to display them then on a walking hanger? Besides that their faces are usually busted, another way not to distract anyone from the art of the clothing…retard

    oh yeah…Skank!

  19. Lowlands

    Look likes they just came out a closet,after years.Look at the first pic,this caucasian guy on the background looks black in contrast with them.

  20. licklick

    These girls are too stupid to know how to do drugs, even badly.

    They look like morons.

  21. squab

    If you think they are ugly now, just wait and see how ugly they’ll be in 30 years!

  22. luvinit

    Wow. I always wondered what the crypt keeper looked like. I never knew thre was 2 of them though!

    *Mary-Kate looks so excited to be photographed smokng a cig!*

  23. BarbadoSlim

    @66…I would think you are kidding but I’ve got a sinking suspicion that you ARE that stupid. Therefore having concluded that you are to stupid to live, please delete yourself immediately from humanity.

    Just take a leap from the nearest fifty-story window.

  24. Lindsay

    AHH THEY SHOULD DO A FULL HOUSE REUNION EPISODE! HOLY SHIT THAT WOULD BE SCARY! YOU GOT MICHELLE TANNER AND HER EVIL TWIN OR MORE EVIL TWIN??, STEPHANIE TANNER THE METH DEALER, D.J TANNER.. SHE’S NORMAL. DANNY TANNER AS THE PORN STAR. JESSE…………. THE LONELY ONE. JOEY GLADSTONE… HOOKED UP WITH JESSIE.. THEY ARE LOVERS.. THAT WOULD BE ONE EXCELLENT EPISODE!!

  25. HoraceMcTittiesworth

    Hideous

  26. fritobandito

    8ballL<3VER- Hey Dumb Ass, guess what looks better than you skeletor? My awesome sculpted muscles!! And they take way more hard work, dedication and sweat than just not eating. You stupid Meth head. You think you have will power? See me when you can bench press your weight. Oh wait, your arms would snap first. Go ahead, I need a laugh after seeing these scary bitches!!!!!!

  27. NicotineEyePatch

    Wow, monkeys in makeup. And a troll trying to be provocative.

    Just another day at the Superficial!

  28. teetee

    I can’t tell which the ugly drug addict one is now?

  29. Amyface

    mary kate reminds me of courtney love in those last two.

    ugh.

  30. kingnoony

    #24, #36 HELL, I’D KILL FOR MY WIFE TO BE 125LBS. HELL, I MIGHT KILL MYSELF IF SHE DOESN’T GET THERE SOON…(or maybe just kill the dog…)

  31. Amy3000

    U.G.L.Y they ain’t got no alibi…They UGLY!! They UGLY!!

  32. UNCLE NED

    Look into their eyes, there’s nothing inside there. Maybe they had their souls sold to the devil in exchange for all that money and fame. They sure look like it.

  33. Caoimhe

    Seeeexxxxyyyy….and these were the bitches everyone was waiting for to turn 18. It’s like they were so hot, then the second they turned 18 they got uglier than a pile of dog shit. Ironic.

  34. lilygirl

    God they are scary!
    I cannot believe they are only 20.
    and they seriously do look like ape children.

  35. lilygirl

    I mean you would think with all that money they could afford to buy some fashion sense.

  36. shit, i don’t understand why these two became so fucked up,they used to be so cute, and now, i don’t even understand how they’ve managed to stay rich after having done nothing since they were like ten or something

  37. silverstar22

    someone should tell their hairdresser that they need to lock up the peroxide when they’re done because obviously the twins have gotten into it and are huffing it like it’s their job.

  38. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    8ballL<3VER is a retarded teenager who subscribes to those anorexia blogs. I’d love to meet her parents so I could kick their fucking teeth in for ignoring their child and turning her into a starving headcase looking for love on the internet. Today–message boards & blogs, tomorrow–meeting online strangers in undisclosed locations. Superb, we’ll all have to foot the bill for the prison term of the sick fuck who kills her. Way to go, Mom and Dad!! :|

    Back to the issue at hand…those little bitches are spooky. I can almost hear them saying, “They’re coming to get you Barbara!”

  39. DingleberryJam

    They should totally come out with a new tv show. The blonde can play the whacky, extroverted, hippie and the one with the hairknot so tight it’s sucking back her cheeks can play the straight-laced overachiever. They’ll have whacky misadventures where they attempt to divy a bag of coke between themeselves but greed rears its ugly head and they start to fight over who gets the biggest half. Eventually they’ll both be covered head to toe in cocaine and learn a valuable lesson about sharing, and sisterhood, in the process.

  40. BadGoat

    You are all such asses. The sisters live their lives as they wish, laughing all the way to the bank. You are all such asses.

  41. Oh, Ashley might be ok…but Mary-Kate…!
    Uhhh… gone bit too far. Of course being an asshole telling that they look like zombies is naughty, but thats what it goes- you want this life- you live this life.

  42. jomanov, I thought they still own “Dualstar”?
    Thats why.

  43. grits2005

    im sure reading all these hateful comments will help them feel better about themselves and get the help they need…..NOT. you people have nothing better to do than down strangers about there looks and health. surely theres more constructive things to do with your time. how bout join a charity or organization that helps people like them get the help they need. just a thought, but then being a constructive part of society doesnt interest any of you huh???? yea i thought not. Im so glad that I was raised with dignity and respect to lend a hand and help instead of ridicule.

  44. DrPhowstus

    I wonder if they’d let me fuck ‘em both at the same time? They can leave the crappy shoes on, no need to take off their tops and reveal their prepubscent breasts. Just some good old fashioned face fucking on one, while the other is kissng her neck. Then right when I’m about to explode, I’d let in about 15 of my closest friends, aroused to the point of expulsion, to run in and make them each look like half melted candles. One at a time though guys. It’s just bad form to cum on your bukkake teammates.

  45. Ramblebrook

    We counted down to the day that they’d turn legal age… and then they finally do and this is what we get!!

  46. StoneRose

    Am I the only person who saw this coming from a mile away! Fuck, I hated these to pint-sized twerps since they were in diapers. Nevermind the knobs who were waiting for these two dead-flesh zombies to reach ‘legal’ age…nobody in their right mind should want to ‘hit’ a platypus-faced troll, let alone a pair of platypus-faced trolls.

  47. AudreyE

    There’s another billion dollar franchise down the toilet.

  48. Ramblebrook

    Stone Rose… eat shit. They had potential and completely swung the other way to look like troll dolls. Very disappointing.

  49. StoneRose

    Ramblebrook, you better sleep with one eye open tonight cause I’ve told the twins you’d make one tasty meal, shit included…don’t be surprised if you wake up to the sound of twin zombies quitely sucking on your putrid flesh as it liquifies off of your bones from the mere contact of their saliva, and the feel of their bony fingers twisting their way up to mine your nether regions. Sleep well.

  50. Truthseeker013

    As a man named Shakespeare once said, “Methinks he doth protest too much.” Just own up, all of you haters. You wanna do ‘em both. In tandem. Just say the words, and you’ll feel a lot better.

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