Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen look, uh, nice?

March 2nd, 2007 // 127 Comments

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were spotted shopping in Paris. And even though they both look like idiots, at least Ashley looks like she made it through the evolutionary process. If I didn’t tell you who this was you probably would’ve thought it was photographic evidence of the missing link.


  1. brujeriadiosa



  2. bizbomb

    Okay… which one is which? They both look like they are homeless.

  3. woodhorse

    Severe Advanced Osteoporosis.

  4. brujeriadiosa

    WTF is with the Space-Hooker boots?

    I’m sure it helps to weigh 86 pounds to walk in them but they are NOT ATTRACTIVE!!

    Geez, someone get these bitches some rice & gravy for crying out loud!

  5. thestraightshooter

    This is merely an illusion caused by the light color of her hair.



  6. Chemicakitty

    Why does Mary-Kate always look like death warmed up?

  7. hdroadkng

    WTF they have Starbucks in France?

  8. anothershityear

    it’s the Statue of Liberty !!

    IT’S THE STATUE OF LIBERTY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. anothershityear


  10. RichPort

    Now all she needs is 101 Dalmations and she can make a fucking coat.

  11. So, what in the name of sweet baby Jesus are these twats thinking when they leave the house? I mean, do they ACTUALLY think they look sexy?

    Helen Keller could be their stylist, and they would look better than they do now.

  12. MargeAggedon

    She looks fine for a homeless crack whore.

  13. hairpin



  14. PunjabPete

    Nice boots… Are they in Detroit… Rock City!!!! Get up…

  15. Clete

    Yikes! She is more hideous looking than Sickhole Bitchie. What is with that scraggly gray hair? Those spindley spider monkey legs with those clunky shoes put the icing on that overbaked cake. GET A STYLIST!

  16. Clete

    #12 to the point and perfect!

  17. chochoka

    Hey guys ! We DO have Starbucks here in Paris and I think shoes are Marc Jacob’s or Balenciaga’s( despite they are very ugly … )

  18. You’re just jealous because you could have a million dollars for every inch of your pecker and you’d still have less than one of them carries in their wallet.

  19. BarbadoSlim

    These pictures prove it, these two are Jawas, now all we need are some Sandpeople to come in and slaughter them.

  20. kamihi

    Ashley is the one with the band on her head I assume. They both look pretty grim but the other on MK does look sad. SO sad and yet so rich – how can it be, does this evidence mean money doesn’t buy happiness?

  21. woodhorse

    So, she could have fed all of Appalachia if she had just shopped at Goodwill?? (and have had a better selection)

  22. lolabeat

    They both look like they didn’t make it through the evolutionary process.

    @18… It’s not about the money; Britney Spears has better taste in clothes than this two.

  23. lolabeat

    And, my god, this is the first time I have witnessed how someone can make a fur coat look cheap.

  24. biatcho

    marist89, if I am correct in thinking you’re a Marist Grad then I am ashamed to have the same alma mater as a loser such as yourself.
    Nice fucking website, talking about your walks with your dog??? He’s cute & all but, are you serious??? And then you post it on The Superficial???? You’re asking for a beat down of extreme proportions.

  25. lolabeat

    And, my god, this is the first time I have witnessed how someone can make a fur coat look cheap.

  26. jesseeca

    yeah Miss. Cleo called, she wants her headband back.

  27. Look!

    It’s the Scarecrow and Mrs. King!

  28. Jeesus she looks like GOLUM from Lord of the rings. Seriously, she is so malnourished she can’t even hold her head up any more.

    Bjork in her Swan Dress looked better than these two messes.

  29. InstantAsshat-AddFame

    I like marist’s blog, it’s sweet. That said, though, this is the Superficial. It is the place to diss celebs. It has nothing to do with jealousy or envy of how rich anyone is. It’s a place to diss celebs who seem to go out of their way to look and behave in ridiculous ways, which is why some celebs are seldom seen here–they aren’t asshats. So if we come here to diss celebs, and you come here to tell us how pathetic and jealous we are for dissing celebs, hey, at least we’re doing what this website is meant for–you’re the pathetic one for wasting time on a website you don’t seem to like, taking time to post comments dissing us, time you will never get back. That said, you may fuck off now.

    And what the fuck is with these disgusting platform boots! They make these emaciated teats look like praying mantises. Is it mantises? What’s the fucking plural for mantis? And posh was just wearing these damn boots on the blog yesterday…but I must say, I like ‘em better than those really nasty brown leather zip-up boots with jeans tucked into them look from last summer. That was heinous.

    But gawd, these girls are too young to look so terrible.

  30. D'oh Eyes

    Looks like she’s been baptized in bleach.

  31. D'oh Eyes

    Personally, Barbado, I think she looks more like Salacious Crumb.

  32. DingleberryJam

    haha #28 I got a Lord of the Rings vibe when i first saw the photos too.
    Though i was thinking this was taken right before they leaped on their black horses and chased hobbits.
    I can almost hear their mournful howls and sinister hisses between sips of coffee.

  33. veggi

    #24 just shut up. the “fights” among the institutionalized retarded commenters have been absent over the past few days, and nobody has missed them.

  34. biatcho

    veggi – suck it! and choke on a big greasy piece of steak fat, fairy.

  35. Whammer Jammer

    The two unhappiest multi-millionaires ever.

  36. NicotineEyePatch

    Those boots may be shaped like feet, but neither of the Olsen twins have any feet, just like Posh. I’m guessing they were all developed in the same lab by the same cricket/katydid fetishist.
    So the question now is: how many more are there, and how much time do we have to destroy them all?

  37. catan

    they dress like this so people know who they are wherever they go! they’re so plain-looking that if they wore normal clothes, nobody would look twice. then they wouldn’t make any money.

  38. RichPort

    So veggi, you’re picking a fight about not wanting people to fight? I’m confused. #24 sounded more like a heads up than starting a fight to me. I do agree, the quiet has been pleasant.

  39. elvisfanlaura

    what the hell is up with her hair???? ever heard of a brush????

  40. gatorgirl

    oh mi god, number 28, she IS Golum!
    Please please give me some of her money, just an ounce, so I could show her how to buff and scruff and look fantastic like Reese Witherspoon. Can you imagine Reese picking up her kids looking like this?!

  41. Stink

    Smart enough to make megamillions yet too stupid to eat. Yeesh. I’ve seen healthier zombies than this.

  42. bigponie

    This is the direct result of a nonexisting sex life, you turn into Nanny McPhee.

  43. JaeMae

    I think she stole these tranny shoes from posh spice on. Seriously!

  44. herbiefrog

    so… you’ve run the gauntlet

    and still here : )
    we need to start spending that money babe

    …as you know

    and you look fine : )

  45. serial snarkalec

    The old gray-haired crone in the first pic looks like the Barbie whose hair I snatched out of its head after my mother made me put it back.

  46. Lowlands

    Her hair couldn’t get any essential nutrition anymore outta her starved body and turned white.

  47. JaeMae

    #29 you beat me to it!

  48. mrs.t

    Sure you can get Starbucks in paris (and small Taiwanese fishing villages at this point). But why would you?

    For chrissake, sit down, order some nice french coffee, and enjoy your cigarette for 5 minutes. That’s what is ultimately so lame about these stupid little girls-they have no idea how to just chill the fuck out and spend their money on something other than hideous fashion. How can they attend EVERY show EVERY season and manage to walk away with the ugliest items? Are they so fucking short that the view is distorted? Can they ONLY see the shoes? Designer’s probably hold onto to the pieces that didn’t quite work for these two little monster-dwarves.

  49. polypam

    There are a million cute little cafes in Paris, why the fuck are they going to Starbucks? It’s like going to Pizza Hut when you’re in Italy!!!

    Seriously, with creativity like that, I can’t WAIT to see their new “high fashion” line. Retards.

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