Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
As of this Sunday, June 13, wonder twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are legal adults. The girls will be able to vote and buy cigarettes. Their 18th birthdays also mark the end of an era for the Olsen Twins Countdown Clocks, the Internet sites devoted to tracking the years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds until the former Full House-rs come of age.
I couldn’t cares less that they’re legal now. The only thing that I can’t wrap my mind around is the fact that these two little 18 year old girls are BILLIONAIRES. Even Britney Spears isn’t a billionaire, and she at least does stuff, coming out with CD’s and performing every once in awhile. What exactly have the Olsen twins done that merits them being billionaires? Bill Gates had to write mother fucking Microsoft to make a billion dollars, and all these two little brats had to do was star in a bunch of piece of shit movies made for eight year old girls. What kind of fucked up world are we living in where 18 year old celebrities can have more money than the entire GDP of Liberia (I totally made that up).
*Update: I guess the Olsen twins aren’t quite billionaires, but are worth only a mere $600 million. That changes everything. Now the world makes sense again.