Mary Carey (VH1 Celebrity Rehab, a shitload of porn) celebrated her 28th birthday yesterday with her boyfriend in Las Vegas. If I ever get married, when it comes time to plan the wedding I’m going to point to this last picture and say “That stuff. I want that stuff to happen.” And by that stuff I mean me pouring water on a porn star while wearing a shirt that will make random strangers want to throw a chainsaw at my face. So, pretty much the most romantic day ever.
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Kevin | June 19, 2008 at 4:53 pm
When I first read this I thought it said “Mariah Carey” and I was like “Ugh, what the hell happened to her?”
donk | June 19, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Cock
BIg
…. I don’t get it
Randal | June 19, 2008 at 4:53 pm
HOLA!
I am so in love with your show Mary, I watch it on the DISH Network since DirectTV doesn’t work as well as it used to back in the day.
Wishing you all the best on your BIG day! Congratulations and see you on the tube.
Randal
squid | June 19, 2008 at 4:54 pm
is her boyfriend joe rogan?
Ted from LA | June 19, 2008 at 4:54 pm
What a pig (and I’m not referring to her weight).
LENTISTA | June 19, 2008 at 4:55 pm
hey # 1 ur fuckin cock blocker i was first…….lol
Denise | June 19, 2008 at 4:56 pm
28th b-day…. ugh…. TRY 38TH B-DAY…..
Kelly | June 19, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Seriously…could she be sucking in her stomach ANY harder??
Jackson | June 19, 2008 at 4:59 pm
More pictures of Kim Kardashian’s beautiful ass please…end my week with magic.
veggi | June 19, 2008 at 4:59 pm
I wonder if that guy peed on her…wait, he’s white, and she’s not a mustachioed Armenian. Doesn’t matter how trashy they are, they won’t sink to the level of the mud people.
Ponch | June 19, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Does anyone else think she looks like Duane “Dog the Bounty hunter” Chapman in the last three pics?
Do_FreeBird | June 19, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I respect her for the cheap piece of meat that she is.
Matthew | June 19, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Isn’t her mother a retard? Like mother, like daughter….
Paolo Maldini | June 19, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Something about a big breasted chunky girl who loves sex. Id hang out with this chick for awhile.
tranny mess from NY | June 19, 2008 at 5:06 pm
i look a lot like her, so that being said i’m totally HOT
Run n Gun | June 19, 2008 at 5:08 pm
BOING!!!!!!
Why dont you women take a lesson – if all of you looked like this, and took it in all 3 holes, and enjoyed it, there wouldnt have to be a billion dollar boner pill market in the pharma industry!!
Looking good girl!
Do_FreeBird | June 19, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Hey #10
Look Fuckwad, what kind of level do you sink to every day of your life? Actually I think I know. That would be your sinking down on your knees and having a Guiness world record Bukake scene with every black man in NYC. Hell, let’s trow in the entire Hispanic community for good measure, because I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more than you.
what now? | June 19, 2008 at 5:10 pm
#1. I am right with you I accidentally read Mariah Carey so when the picture loaded I screamed “OH HELL NO” and laughed hysterically, I was so loud I think I scarred the neighboors. Ooops my bad, I should know by noe the effect this site can have on me, but it’s hard to remember to use my “inside voice” when I am viewing such hideous nastiness.
http://www.VoteRobot.org | June 19, 2008 at 5:10 pm
i wish he was pouring vomit on her with his mouth
britney's weave | June 19, 2008 at 5:15 pm
@16, um, no. just stop getting older–then you won’t need the pills. easy, no?
whatever kind of porn this bitch has made and/or is making i would rather stick needles into my eyes than watch.
what now? | June 19, 2008 at 5:18 pm
LOL #19. I love how her white trash boyfriend think his woman is the shit (I see this al the time andit’s fucking priceless). I mean look at this douche in his little shirt, he is so proud of that trash he thinks he and his big rooster scored themselves some grade A ass, it’s just so sad and funny, he has like hotness dysmorphia or some shit, don’t ruin it for him anybody, ignorance is bliss, he doesn’t need to know that this skank has the market value of an expired can of tuna (or sea chicken).
Giomon_Rocks | June 19, 2008 at 5:20 pm
She has the most real-looking boobs that I have ever seen. Am I right or am I right?
Ted from LA | June 19, 2008 at 5:23 pm
I heard Hulk Hogan is getting paternity tested.
Auntie Kryst | June 19, 2008 at 5:28 pm
A fowl with the word big under it? Wait, big cock, haha I get it.
Nice fucking shirt douchebag. This douchebag’s douchebaggery should be too douchebaggy even for a porn actress to date him..
S | June 19, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Ted Kennedy’s tumor and britney’s weave should totally hook up.
Mike Hawk | June 19, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Only a complete fuckwad would call a porno skank a girlfriend. Sure he’s getting the cream siphoned from his self proclaimed big chicken, but only after she drank a creampie from another drug addled roast beef box. You go dude, you scored big with this one. Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
nipolian | June 19, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Douchebaggery times two………..check out the 5th pick……..There’s one riding on the pig …..and there is an identical one standing in the background leaning against the rail.
jax | June 19, 2008 at 5:40 pm
is that David Weintrab?
ronr | June 19, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Klass.
What’s she doing with that bottle in picture #11?
what now? | June 19, 2008 at 5:44 pm
#26. “Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway” that is THE funniest thing I have ever read in my entire LIFE! Holy shit I just laughed my ass off. Thank you.
simplicity | June 19, 2008 at 5:45 pm
you know what’s sad about these pictures..
other than the obvious cow in a bikini thing..
She’s a pig and you can tell her has to respect for her. He looks like he hates her.
Why the hell is anyone taking pictures of her, nevermind banging her, NEVERMIND paying to watch someone else bang her.
She’s a porn star???
and I read this as Mariah Carey as well.
simplicity | June 19, 2008 at 5:52 pm
..her boyfriend* has no respect for her. He looks like he hates her.
I hate #16 | June 19, 2008 at 5:53 pm
#16….you’re a fucking retard. But your grammar is great……and I’ll bet you smell wonderful!!
Rizzo | June 19, 2008 at 5:54 pm
I really want to know how is this attractive, is it because she looks worthless?, is it because guys feel they can abuse her and feel no remorse?, I’m honestly curious.
It would also be nice to know where the hell is her neck.
Tyler Durden | June 19, 2008 at 5:57 pm
LOL #26. A VERY VERY dirty hallway, a filthy hallway that has been used by hundreds of thousands and never cleaned, EVER.
I would never ever go near that, even looking at these pics vioaltes the promise I made to my penise. Shit now pepe is mad at me and when he’s mad at me he plays mean tricks on me when I need him most. Fuck Pepe I’m sorry these pictures caught me off guard too, but I have a big date with that hot brunette tonight and you must cooperate with me. Okay I know what I have to do, time to flush out these hideous images with the images of hot young women.
Gents a tip, always let it out before a big date, ALWAYS. you will be off your game if you are too horny and you’ll scare her off. Women can smell desperate horniness and it smells like failure.
Sandra | June 19, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Once again a great post Randal!
I truly look forward to you spinning those words into gold!
Spin, Randal, spin!
Ted from LA | June 19, 2008 at 6:18 pm
#5,
I apologize for calling you a pig, Mary. I thought you were Mariah Carey. I still hear Hulk Hogan is being tested to see if he is the father of Mariah Carey. Maury is going to reveal the results tomorrow.
FRIST!!! | June 19, 2008 at 6:27 pm
I thought it said Mariah Carey too.. was thinking, man she really let herself go….well even more than normal
Joe | June 19, 2008 at 6:41 pm
WTF happened to Mariah? Holy crap!
It took me about 10 seconds to notice it wasn’t her as well.
malicious | June 19, 2008 at 6:45 pm
it’s not many guys can admit they are a big cock
Grace | June 19, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Yeah… she’s definitely 38, otherwise her first album was at 10.
my poor eyes | June 19, 2008 at 6:46 pm
She really puts the ASS in Class.. truly a lady there folks.
FRIST!!! | June 19, 2008 at 6:52 pm
LOL @41!!
squeaky | June 19, 2008 at 6:56 pm
I wonder how long it takes to train your crouch to naturally point towards the camera. No matter how big his chicken may be it still gets lost in that cavern, I’m sure.
And count me as one of the “holy shit when did Mariah get implants” crowd.
Klassy | June 19, 2008 at 7:04 pm
This looks like exactly the kind of super-klassy woman that Barely Stearn goes on… and on…..and on…and on about. Hey, maybe that’s him in the pictures!?!?
Binky | June 19, 2008 at 7:05 pm
I always thought if was a bit fishy when she married that guy from Sony Music.
Lauren | June 19, 2008 at 7:10 pm
Ew.
Lauren | June 19, 2008 at 7:10 pm
Ew.
OFenby | June 19, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Wow, it takes some really bad fake choppers to distract a man from those ginormous fake boobs. Well played, Mary Carey!
Kate | June 19, 2008 at 7:19 pm
#1 and #18 I thought it said Mariah Carey too. I was like “Whoa…..she went down hill fast…cause she looked pretty good a few weeks ago…” On another note, she is really trying hard to suck her stomach in, it looks painful. Oh well, what can you say, she’s a porn star.