Mary-Kate Olsen doesn’t want you to see her bikini

September 7th, 2007 // 76 Comments
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Mary-Kate Olsen wants to be able to hit the beach without fear of predatory bikini shots. While being interviewed about her recurring role on the upcoming season of Weeds, Mary-Kate talked to Entertainment Weekly about her career and the media. Here’s what she had to say:

On her career with twin sister Ashley
“If you look at our career from 21 years ago to today, it was about entertaining a specific audience. It wasn’t about acting. It was about pleasing other people and making kids smile.”

On her latest role
“To say that I got to work with those people – with Mary-Louise Parker! – is a great thing. We did have to change our signs, though. When we were on location, we couldn’t have Weeds signs up because we would get stalkerazzi.”

On the constant media attention
“So every time I see paparazzi, I cover my face so they don’t get a picture, and I’m just ‘the mean person who doesn’t smile.’ I would love to be able to swim in the ocean in Malibu. But that is asking for a bikini shot. That’s inviting something that I don’t want to happen. I don’t need to be on a ‘Who’s Skinny, Who’s Fat, Who’s Looking Healthy, Who’s Not Eating?’ list.”

Mary Kate is doing another sitcom. How original. Weeds is exactly like Full House. Except for the profanity. And rampant drug use. And graphic sex. And maybe it has quality acting, an intriguing plot and characters you don’t want to throw under a bus. But, other than that, yeah, it’s the exact same thing as Full House. Geez, try something different for a change.

NOTE: I did get a bikini shot of Mary-Kate Olsen once. It basically looked like two pieces of fabric stapled to a broomstick. If that just turned you on, you’re either a very horny janitor, or in need of shock therapy.


  1. George

    Did she and her sister both flunk out of the University that they were once attending? And, what was their major ?

    She looks like an older drugged out version of the baby she played on whatever that sitcom was in the ’80s.

  2. cocaKelli

    46: RAD, Chauncey! My girl Jan! harharhar!

  3. inmyown

    why did she pluck her eye brows so small? it makes her look so much younger..

    other wise.. cute pics!

  4. Wicked Wendy

    Hey JImbo…….I have to agree I think it’s her…and to think that just yesterday I was counting my lucky stars that school was back in……sigh…..I should’ve never expressed my relief aloud at KK being gone….DAMN IT AT TO HELL !!!

  5. Brinkman

    I’m willing to help MKO maintain a healthy weight. I’ll feed her a hot protein blast anytime she want to suck one out. I figure girls with eating disorders are orally fixated, so MK probably smokes pole like a pornstar.

  6. jrzmommy

    i’ve always liked her. she seems so sweet.

  7. zebedee

    She has a darling little face.

  8. zebedee

    Christ. Imagine the horror of seeing her mate with a negro.

  9. xxReeniexx

    Rofl. Her eyebrows are so damn scary.

  10. justtheobvious

    bitch needs to get some mascara that doesn’t make her damn eye lashes clump together. What a stuck up hoe. Her and her dopey sister will never be in anything that makes money. They were ugly kids and now they are stupid adults.

  11. b

    alien…shes an alien

  12. so she’s ugly? ok then most people should wear bags over their heads if that is ugly,probably including the person who wrote that.

    i mean wtf everybody famous is ugly?i mean we all must be retarted then dont u think?

  13. pervertedmoron

    these girls were hot when they were 12, if they could have stayed that age forever.

  14. justtheobvious

    Its not that shes ugly, shes stupid and stuck up. Sure, she didn’t get in the business on her own, but it isn’t like she is employable at any stretch, so take some acting lessons, oh and some fashion lessons too with all the money you and your fat sister has and make something of yourselves instead of cry because someone might take your picture and make fun of you for being as useful as Paris Hilton. Well, at least Paris gets us bikini pictures everyday. Plus an occasional porn.

  15. cookie monsta

    hows the frikken relief this stick insect is keeping her clothes on? I, for once, have finally found something to like about an Olsen !!

    kelli is a farkenawful bucket of bats piss.

  16. Lenina

    @25 – Yes, because all child stars must continue acting as they get older. No child star has ever left the public eye and gotten a real job. And they all get photographed all. the. time.

  17. Wow.

    What the fuck is wrong with her face?

  18. Stix

    wow… i cant really find anything bitchy to say about her
    i wish i had a face like that

  19. Mama Pinkus

    Seriously creepy-looking; love-child of Kate Hudson and…………I dunno, someone.

  20. Wow, She smiles! That’s a good look for her :)

  21. Scotcha

    OK, if you find the Olsen twins attractive, you masturbate to Muppets.

  22. D. Richards

    There’s only one reason why Mary-Kate doesn’t want anyone to see her smile; all of her vomiting has caused her teeth to erode. Stomach acid fucks teeth up. Poor billionaire.

  23. Pooface

    @ D Richards…her teeth are visible in one of these pics and they look perfectly fine.

  24. Narcissist

    I think she could wear Eskimo clothes at this point and still get on the “Who’s Skinny, Who’s Not Eating” lists.
    She needs that kids outfit from “A Christmas Story”.

    Teeth look nice in 4. The smile just looks a bit awkward. Maybe demure smiles work best for them (like 1 and 2).

  25. Laura

    Hang on. Jennifer Love Hewitt is “fat”, and Mary-Kate looks like a broomstick? Man, they have a weight difference of about five pounds. Are you telling me that there is the “perfect weight”, a secret number, calculated to the nanogram, that only you and a few other chosen people know about?

    Seriously, get a life.

  26. heaths ghost whispers

    Mary-kate olsen looks Anorexic from all the “Coke” she’s been doing. now only if she now tells the truth about Heath Ledgers Death and tell were she got the deadly drugs that killed that poor guy she will gain more weight. he must be Spinning in his grave right now “Screaming” what the fuck did this bitch give me!

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