Martha’s crazy, y’all

September 20th, 2005 // 14 Comments

Crazy_Martha.jpgMartha Stewart was the feature guest on The Late Show with David Letterman last night, and she managed to come off as a rational, optimistic woman who was fully in command of her life and her destiny. Then she kept referring to prison as “Yale,” and while at first it was sort of cute in that “grandma calls vaginas ‘love boxes’” sort of way, she eventually began to use the term almost involuntarily, and I’m sure that can’t help refute the common belief that she’s, you know, a few muffins short of a basket.

In fact, Page Six previously reported that after Cybill Shepherd played an incredibly unflattering Martha in two made-for-TV movies, Stewart had someone “rush deliver” a tape to her of Kathy Lee Gifford’s interview with Shepherd on The Insider, which aired last week, so that she could delight as “Cybill starts crying when she talks about Martha in prison and how deplorable the conditions were.”

Actually, no. That’s really not so much crazy as it is awesome. Cybill Shepherd is rumored to be more insanely hellish than Martha Stewart and Naomi Campbell combined, and I recall hearing about how, during Cybill, she’d compare the number of lines she’d have to the number of lines Christine Baranski would have in order to make sure Baranski didn’t get more spotlight than her. And nobody, but nobody, messes with C.Bar. I for one look forward to the day Martha finally snaps and upholsters some loveseats using Cybill’s skin. It’s a good thing.

superficial

  1. jon

    She might be crazy but she’s hot. Any by hot, i mean she’ll eat your face.

  2. celeb_hater

    Is it just me or does that picture of Martha is a good clue as to what Paris Hilton will look like when she is older, assuming Paris doesn’t die of an STD or a shotgun blast from Nicole Ritchie

  3. Kangascoop

    Oh, I don’t know if Cybill is as crazy as they say. Just because incredibly scrumptious women over 50 who keep themselves enigmatic and yet remain colorfully opinionated are both incredibly sexy and yet remind me of mom…wait…reminds my friend of my sexy mom, does not mean that she is crazy.

    Now the day Cybill wakes up in a ditch in the nude pulling out her own hair and barking like a dog all whilst singing the theme to her failed TV show…now that would be crazy.

    Was I suppose to write about Martha Stewart or Cybill? I forget. Cybill is just too irrisistable.

  4. WTFweretheythinking?

    Yale= school of hard knocks? Hardly. Come on Martha, you can be more original than calling your home sweet prison stay Yale. We’ve seen photos- we know you were showing the inmates your cookie recipes and teaching them how to make wreaths out of their plastic utensils.

  5. M@

    I just saw the previews for Cybil as Martha in “Martha Stewart: Life behind bars” or something like that.

  6. Bookboi

    Martha’s creepy and sinister power appears to have grown while she was in prison. Pairing up with Donald Trump for a reality show only gives her more cred as truly demonic.

  7. af_prince

    holy fucking shit i watched it.. actually downloaded it off bittorrent and during the whole time i was like WTF is she talking about. she doesnt make sense all through the interview and she avoids answering questions like was it your fault or what .. she did say that they wrongly accused her but quickly changed the subject to ‘oh im just so strong and had to go through all that..’ i wanted someone to smack her in the head with a book’ lol it was so stupid and fucked it made me laugh but quite annoying too. stupid bitch

  8. af_prince

    holy fucking shit i watched it.. actually downloaded it off bittorrent and during the whole time i was like WTF is she talking about. she doesnt make sense all through the interview and she avoids answering questions like was it your fault or what .. she did say that they wrongly accused her but quickly changed the subject to ‘oh im just so strong and had to go through all that..’ i wanted someone to smack her in the head with a book’ lol it was so stupid and fucked it made me laugh but quite annoying too. stupid bitch

  9. Juliette

    She is creepy. No, creepy isn’t even the word. I like what was used above, demonic.

    She needs to get off her power trip. She is the fakest person I have ever seen…especially on her new show. She tries to act easy going when we all know she is ready to blow into a furious rage on commercial break.

  10. Proteon

    I’d do her.

  11. Ms. Dilligaff

    Careful what you say about Martha, for she may send forth her Etiquette Demons from hell to school you in the ways of polite ass-whippings. Oh, and then she’d cover you with a nice pineapple glaze, bake you at 350 for forty-five minutes, and eat you.

  12. i love martha. it’s hilarious to watch her television show because throughout the whole thing, you can see her getting progessively more drunk.

  13. You know, reading your comments is really sad and hideous. People who wrote nasty comments are skanky,low life, un-educated, racist, evil, monster and cold hearted. It’s so sad how this society is coming to. It’s wonderful that people like Meg adopts a baby from China. Meg’s baby is a cutie. What did that little chinese girl do to you? That’s what I thought. The international babies are human too and they deserve to have lots of love too. At least Meg is not a selfish person and not close minded. There is nothing wrong for adopting international babies. You have no right to judge others who does good deeds for others. It is not any of your busienss.
    You should be ashamed of yourselves and you call yourselves Americans. Ha! You all put ashame to America. America is a melting pot. Dah! Oh I forgot you all racist,nasty, skanky people are un-educated. Just remember, what goes around, comes around.
    Heck,look at the U.S babies who are born with lots of problems: drug and crack addict babies, alcoholic babies, HIV babies. Crack whore, low life mothers’ putting their babies up for adoption and later down the years they want their babies back. It happened alot.

  14. She likes to refer to prison for "Yale," and although at first it was kind of cute That "call grandma vaginas" love boxes "," sort of way, eventually began to use the term almost involuntarily, and I'm sure that one can not Repeal the general perception that he is, you know, a few muffins

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