Martha Stewart was the feature guest on The Late Show with David Letterman last night, and she managed to come off as a rational, optimistic woman who was fully in command of her life and her destiny. Then she kept referring to prison as “Yale,” and while at first it was sort of cute in that “grandma calls vaginas ‘love boxes’” sort of way, she eventually began to use the term almost involuntarily, and I’m sure that can’t help refute the common belief that she’s, you know, a few muffins short of a basket.
In fact, Page Six previously reported that after Cybill Shepherd played an incredibly unflattering Martha in two made-for-TV movies, Stewart had someone “rush deliver” a tape to her of Kathy Lee Gifford’s interview with Shepherd on The Insider, which aired last week, so that she could delight as “Cybill starts crying when she talks about Martha in prison and how deplorable the conditions were.”
Actually, no. That’s really not so much crazy as it is awesome. Cybill Shepherd is rumored to be more insanely hellish than Martha Stewart and Naomi Campbell combined, and I recall hearing about how, during Cybill, she’d compare the number of lines she’d have to the number of lines Christine Baranski would have in order to make sure Baranski didn’t get more spotlight than her. And nobody, but nobody, messes with C.Bar. I for one look forward to the day Martha finally snaps and upholsters some loveseats using Cybill’s skin. It’s a good thing.