Martha Stewart Ruins Yankees’ Perfect Game With Witchcraft

Martha Stewart, AKA America’s mom with hidden prison tats, ruined Michael Pineda’s perfect game over the Tampa Bay Rays. Pineda was like a stubborn father at an airport, making it all the way to the 7th inning without a single player touching his bags. Then Martha decided to shout out to 3.65 million people that the Yanks were two thirds into a perfect game. If you’re not familiar with baseball, the one thing you DON’T do during a perfect game is talk about it…

Maybe Martha meant for the message to be a text? Maybe Snoop just hit her up with a “WYD playa?” and she had some grease from her baked zucchini and sweet potato nachos on her hand and her finger slipped? Or maybe… just maybe… she’s a witch…

Martha Stewart at the HUB Network First Annual Halloween Bash IN LA

Whether Stewart dabbles in the dark arts or not, myself and the four-thousand or so other Rays fans in existence praised her for her sorcery.