Martha Stewart Has A Drone

July 31st, 2014 // 7 Comments
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Martha Stewart made assloads of headlines earlier in the week by calling Blake Lively‘s website “stupid,”, yet hardly anybody’s paying attention to the love letter Martha Stewart wrote to her drone in Time magazine. Yup, that’s right. Martha Stewart has a drone. A fucking drone. And not only does she have a drone, she practically wants to marry it:

In just a few minutes I was hooked. In near silence, the drone rose, hovered, and dove, silently and surreptitiously photographing us and the landscape around us. The photos and video were stunning. By assuming unusual vantage points, the drone allowed me to “see” so much more of my surroundings than usual. The view I was “seeing” on my iPad with the help of the drone would have otherwise been impossible without the use of a private plane, helicopter, or balloon. With any of those vehicles, I would have needed a telephoto lens, and all of them would have made an unacceptable commotion on the beach. What’s more, I would not have been in the photos!

While Martha is fully aware of the controversy surrounding drones, hers takes such lovely photos of the cutting gardens, so maybe its time to talk about why your child’s school would be the perfect spot for a new horse paddock. She understands there was some unfortunate business there. What was it? A missile strike? Awful, just awful. Who would do such a thing? Now, if you’ll just look at these plans she drew up…

Photo: Getty


  1. Short Round

    Let’s hope someone hacks and hijacks the drone and flies it up her ass full speed, rotors spinning like a meat grinder.

  2. Well, rich people buy all kinds of expensive toys. If she wants to buy a drone to photograph her estate, so what. If had the money, I would much sooner buy a drone and other tech gadgets to play with than a yacht.

  3. cc

    That’s a handsome boa in the background, have to say.

  4. j/k

    These “drones” wouldn’t be such a big deal if you called them what us nerds have been for years, RC helicopters.

    • Pretty much. You can even buy those on Amazon.

      No doubt about it, Stewart probably got a $1,000, minimum/high-end piece of equipment… but it doesn’t change the fact that what she’s now gushing over is essentially a toy.

      A toy Fish would just lose his shit over if he ever own one – that too is without a doubt.

    • cc

      Have you seen the one with a shotgun? I want the one with the shotgun.

  5. Slash

    OTOH, Martha Stewart having a drone is kinda scary. OTOH, the govt. already has them AND they have already told us that we essentially have NO privacy whatsoever. Not in our homes, certainly not our cars and obviously, in none of our electronic communications.

    So … I’m not all that worried about Martha’s drone. Although I am a little worried about her hearing. Drones are not nearly silent. They’re slightly quieter than lawnmowers.

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