Marlon Brando Once Groped Natasha Lyonne

September 25th, 2013 // 14 Comments
Natasha Lyonne Conan
WATCH: Natasha Lyonne Got Groped By Marlon Brando
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Stories about lecherous old Hollywood actors are my favorite because they harken back to a more innocent time when people did horrible things without having any clue they’d later be recorded on a global porn sharing device you can carry around in your pocket. So here’s Natasha Lyonne on Conan recalling the time Marlon Brando was filming Scary Movie 2 before conveniently getting pneumonia and bowing out. But not before groping Natasha’s breasts as his assistant was reading lines into his earpiece. Even more hilarious is how everyone, including Jane Lynch, just nods and agrees with Conan that there’s nothing anyone could’ve done about it. Andy Richter, who was in the scene, admitted he just looked away, and I believe him because apparently the first rule they teach you about Hollywood is, “You didn’t see shit.” Which is how Glenn Close managed to kill that family. True story.

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  1. Natasha Lyonne still exists? I’m not displeased by this, just mildly surprised. I haven’t heard anything about her since she threatened to rape her neighbor’s dog. Anyway, she looks good.

  2. EricLR

    Not only that, but Brando feigned sickness, dropped out of the movie, AND GOT TO KEEP HIS FULL $1 MILLION SALARY ANYWAY.

    So, while Natasha just got molested by Brando, looks like Dimension Films got full-on raped.

  3. idigat lidigeast Bidigrando didigidnt gidigrope thidige didigog.

  4. I once groped Marlon Brando. I thought he was Pizza the Hut from Spaceballs. I was sadly mistaken.

  5. That means Natasha Lyonne is in the same category with Elizabeth Taylor and Marilyn Monroe, who ALSO got Brando’s nasty pudge sweat on their titties. She should be honored!

  6. Who wouldn’t want to grope at 20 year old Natasha Lyone’s tits?

  7. For a woman who isn’t exactly pretty, she sure is a sexy motherfucker!

  8. Meg

    You lost me with the Glenn Close line. Anyone care to explain?

  9. Mina

    What an asshole. And they’re assholes too for agreeing ‘nothing’ could be done. If a man gropes tits w/out permission he deserves a backhand slap across the face.

  10. She misspoke. She meant to say she was groped by Marlon Wayans.

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