The Superficial / November 13, 2013

Tom Cruise found himself in some shit over the weekend after making some poor, albeit slightly out of context, statements equating acting to serving in Afghanistan. Naturally, this left him open to criticism except from say another actor who claimed he could’ve stopped 9/11 with his fists where an Israeli Special Forces officer could not. Which is of course what happened last night during a Q&A for Lone Survivor because Mark Wahlberg only masturbates with his wife’s vagina so he says what he wants. TheWrap reports:

“I don’t know it just hit me in a way that uh … I don’t know, it just really upset me that those guys were never gonna see their families again. For actors to sit there and talk about ‘Oh I went to SEAL training,’ and I slept on the — I don’t give a fuck what you did. You don’t do what these guys did. For somebody to sit there and say my job was as difficult as somebody in the military’s. How fucking dare you. While you sit in a makeup chair for two hours.”

“I don’t give a shit if you get your ass busted. You get to go home at the end of the day. You get to go to your hotel room. You get to order fucking chicken. Or your steak. Whatever the fuck it is.”

“Shit, I go back to my luxury trailah and ordah a delicious Wahlburgah because I need my fuckin’ protein, and then I call my wife and tell her to slap her tits against the phone a few times before I sleep on satin fuckin’ sheets. Try complainin’ to a fuckin’ soldjah about that after he just spent a yeeh in some shithole jerkin’ it behind his buddy’s back not knowin’ if he’s ever gonna see his wife’s pussy again or, Gahd forbid, his kids and teach them lessons like, hey, you know all that jerkin’ I did in fuckin’ Iraq? Don’t fuckin’ do that if you want to grow up strong and punch a gahddamn terrahist in his gahddamn mouth. ‘Actin’s a hahdship.’ Get the fuck outta heah.”

Photo: Getty