If history has taught us anything, it’s that Mark Wahlberg is prone to seriously over-estimating how well he’ll perform in certain situations. So with that in mind, here he is drunk off his ass on The Graham Norton Show where after getting shot down by Sarah Silverman (How’s your wife, Mark?), he starts getting shitty with Michael Fassbender who Sarah was all over for obvious reasons that are his giant penis. It starts with a pissy aside about The Dicklander originally turning down the lead in Broken City then quickly devolves into Marky Mark challenging him to a cock-off. A challenge that Michael Fassbender mercifully passes on for Donny’s little brudda’s sake because a child should never see his father’s entire body dwarfed by another man’s penis on British television. No good can come of that.
In case you’re actually trying to do work, here’s a shorter clip where Mark Wahlberg basically tries to kill a woman via whiplash for being a nurse and exercising:
And for the rest of you who’ve accepted you’re not doing any work today, here’s the rest of the show so you can see if Michael Fassbender whips his dick out and beats Mark Wahlberg with it for calling Prometheus one of those queeah movies where Jesus don’t even invent da earth: