If history has taught us anything, it’s that Mark Wahlberg is prone to seriously over-estimating how well he’ll perform in certain situations. So with that in mind, here he is drunk off his ass on The Graham Norton Show where after getting shot down by Sarah Silverman (How’s your wife, Mark?), he starts getting shitty with Michael Fassbender who Sarah was all over for obvious reasons that are his giant penis. It starts with a pissy aside about The Dicklander originally turning down the lead in Broken City then quickly devolves into Marky Mark challenging him to a cock-off. A challenge that Michael Fassbender mercifully passes on for Donny’s little brudda’s sake because a child should never see his father’s entire body dwarfed by another man’s penis on British television. No good can come of that.
In case you’re actually trying to do work, here’s a shorter clip where Mark Wahlberg basically tries to kill a woman via whiplash for being a nurse and exercising:
And for the rest of you who’ve accepted you’re not doing any work today, here’s the rest of the show so you can see if Michael Fassbender whips his dick out and beats Mark Wahlberg with it for calling Prometheus one of those queeah movies where Jesus don’t even invent da earth:
h/t Pajiba
British television is unsurprisingly boring.
Only when the American guests outnumber the Brits
Fassbender is Irish though….
Half
The other half being German….
Yes, and two is more than one. Math is fun!
Thanks for the backup Mouse but maybe people are having a problem with the fact that the Irish are not considered Brits. But 2 is still greater than 0.
Nikkinakki,mouse-Nice spoof of the Brits,responding to mensas’ comment with ‘ unsurprisingly boring’ replies.
two is more than one and in the English language math is very odd. Mathematics, maths usually, math would be mathematic which is singular only one, maths is better plural more than one.
it takes about 15 minutes before the limey policeman chases after the group and they end up in that hallway lined with doors on each side. Gotta speed up the time on the chase scene too.
that’s what happens on every brit tv show. except the ones that are just tedious as fuck and are about tea and crumpets.
Caution Squad.
Depends on who is watching, maybe it is you who is tedious. Eat less beef its not good for your brain.
It’s a good show when it has the right guests. Joan Rivers was on recently and completely dominated the program. I had no idea she could still be so funny, Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear was also a guest and was rendered uncharacteristically speechless.
These two can’t compare. Fassbender has a big dick while Marky Mark is a big dick.
Didn’t Shrimpy Shrimp need a fake cock in Boogie Nights because his dick was so small?
He sure did. I was just thinking about that. In the context of this article, of course.
Sarah Silverman is awesome. Mark is a dick. Fassbender is all class.
All Fassbender had to do to look good was not be Wahlberg.
Betcha Graham Norton and Sarah Silverman would have fought each other to the death to judge that particular contest.
silverman has great jewbs.
strange chap.
have a nice cup of tea. NO dont throw it in the sea, and dont place a tea bag on a saucer with a lukewarm cup of water.
How to make tea,
1 Boil freshly drawn water
2 pour some hot water into tea pot to warm it
3 pour this water out of tea pot. Put tea leaves in to tea pot
4 pour boiling water into tea pot
5 let brew for five minutes, stir once, (one revolution)
6 serve
type ‘ freshly drawn water tea’ into google for more detailed instructions. More tea less beef or horse.
A Speaking Silverman is far worse than a Drunk Diggler by a New York mile. It’s science. Next time “School of Rock” makes the rounds I challenge anyone to make it through her scenes without punching an infant right in the mouth.
silverman sandwich would have been nice, but they need a third to put something in her mouth to keep her quiet.
i would eat sarah silvermans asshole. yes.
LOL!!! Thanks for that one, pimp! She’s on the list fo’ sho’!!!
I fully support Sarah getting her thighs out there.
I love Sarah Silverman, yummy. Pretty sure Fassbender took care of that later on.
I think a dick-off is a great idea. I volunteer to be judge. For science.
Wahlberg actually says, “I WON’T challenge you to a dick-off,” which renders the headline above rather misleading.
Fassbender the only bit of class here – other pair of idiots on the sofa ………..gobby Silverman – that voice would go through you ….Jesus would give an aspirin a headache ….Michael you are gorgeous! Dick or no dick…..
Could that be any more boring? And that host. He is REALLY annoying. And Marky Mark, shut up. Stop talking. You are droning on and not saying anything remotely funny. My God. I could barely stand to watch this just halfway through.
It was really funny. Sarah Silverman got a bit pissed off in the end though but it was hilarious! Lighten up people!
Am I missing something? Norton is the perfect host… quick witted, hospitable and funny with a LOT of personality. This show is 20x better than anything US TV has to offer other than Craig Ferguson (who can do no wrong). Sitting through a Leno/Kimmel/Letterman show is painful in comparison.
When people talk over each other, I want to hurt them. But Sarah’s looking so sexy, I just put it on mute. I’d love to make her all gushy and wet, big time, hiyoooooooo!!!
So would I – the difference is that I’d achieve it by running her over with a bus.
I would LOVE to see an American late-night talk show like this: the stars actually being real, uninhibited and totally wasted. Awesome!
Good British t.v., that Americans can swear on, it liberates them.
I have to say this: normally the red chair segments are dull as dishwater, but this one cracked me up.
More to the point, Sarah Silverman has sweet gams (although the musical guest, whom I’d never heard of before, was fucking GORGEOUS) and I fully endorse her getting the thighs out.
I was actually kinda digging drunk Wahlberg until he started visibly creeping out Silverman.
Hitler, is that you? Are you saying “the hot one, how did she escape”?!?
I love the Graham Norton show. It’s original and hilarious!
I loved all of these, especially the red chair clip. I always assumed Wahlberg was boring and uninteresting, and he is, but watching him drunk was like taking a frat boy with no celebrity status, getting him drunk, and telling him he’s a star. Sometimes it was hard to watch, sometimes I felt like I could totally have a beer with him somewhere. Flirting with Sarah weirded me out until he squeezed the host’s moobs, then I realized he’s an equal opportunity drunk.
Silverman so clearly wanted to bang Fassbender over Wahlberg, and it was fun watching her be totally annoyed almost the whole time. And Fassbender… he’s such an adorable dork. I want one!
This show is usually hilerious. Wahlberg ruined it by making it awkward. Silverman is ridiculously hot
My opinion has changed of Wahlberg. I was never a big fan of his work but his performance on the Graham Norton show is an embarrassment for English T.V. i am shocked Graham couldn’t control his guest, my fingers are crossed Graham gets the annoying mr wahlberg on again. But with some tougher guests, maybe ricky jervaise and cathrine tate, we’d have a laugh then !
To drink and to flirt and to swear is what makes English proud. Americans feel liberated.
Why doesn’t this article make any sense? I have never watched this show, but have heard that Wahlberg is hilarious on it, and I can’t even figure out what this author (term used very loosely) is talking about.
May I js apologize to Graham and all Britain on behalf of America. We are so sorry Wahlberg was such a jackwagon.
No need, he came to England, these things are normal here.
He was an absolute prick Interrupting the other guests anecdotes & constantly calling attention to himself. and thinks it’s clever to flip the red chair as soon as the girl sat down. Completely ruined the show.
He was a little naughty with the girl in the red chair, this was his only mistake, I hope he made it up to her.
i thought it was a good interview. funny.