Mark Wahlberg: ‘Sorry, Pussies’

January 19th, 2012 // 43 Comments
Marky Mark vs. 9/11
Mark Wahlberg
Had He Been There, Totally Different Story Read More »

In case you blacked yourself out of the Internet yesterday like a goddamn Commie – I kid. BLACK POWER. – Mark Wahlberg stepped in online shit when excerpts from his interview with Men’s Journal were revealed in which he basically says he would’ve stopped 9/11 right in front of his children’s eyes had they boarded their original flight. Naturally this implied that everyone on board were shitty parents and way less badass than him. “Pussies,” I believe was the implied term, so he’s since issued an apology after 99% of America went, “Wait, Donny’s little brudda said that?” Via TMZ:

“To suggest I would have done anything differently than the passengers on that plane was irresponsible. … To speculate about such a situation is ridiculous to begin with.”
Mark adds, “I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive, it was certainly not my intention.”

Probably most insulting is that Marky Mark’s publicist obviously wrote that, but fortunately The Superficial has obtained Mark’s own written apology in its entirety and his words cut right to the heart:

Dear Pussies,

Yesterday, it may have appeared that I called you all a bunch of pussies for dying in 9/11 and not stopping those terrorists with your bare fists in the first class lounge where I always sit because I’m a movie star. In retrospective vision, I realize that I too probably would’ve died like a pussy just like you pussies because terrorism is a serious thing that sometimes make people into pussies. Who’s to say? Irregardless, please accept these coupons good for one free Wahlberger with purchase of another Wahlberger of equal or lesser value. I know that seems cheap, but I’m not running a goddamn charity for pussies who can’t look in their children’s eyes and say, “Don’t worry, honey, daddy’s gonna land this plane because he only jerks off with mommy’s pussy.”

Respectfully yours,

Mark Wahlberg

P.S. I just now realized you’re all dead, so can ghosts read? Knock over a plate in my mother’s house if yes.

Photos: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. grobpilot

    What a cornhole

  2. Deacon Jones

    oh, oh, oh, oh,oh….oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

    Yo, it’s about that time
    To bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme
    I’ma get mine so get your
    I wanna see sweart comin’ out your pores
    On the house tip is how I’m swinging this

    It’s such a gooood vibration
    It’s such a sweeet sensation!

  3. Dude of Dudes

    Someone went all in on that “Art imitates life imitates art” bullshit.

  4. EricLr

    Someone needs to tell him that his action movies are fictional–and also that his rhymes have, in fact, not actually grooved us.

  5. JC

    I bet the LORDS OF MUSCLE BEACH would have stopped 9/11, had they not been so distracted by their shunken genitals and back-ne.

  6. Evil Dick Tater

    Sorry, I was busy jerking off yesterday. Did I miss anything?

  7. “Ok. I wouldn’t have stopped 9-11. But I still stand by my statement that I could take that little bitch Pacquiao. Mostly it would depend on the director though.”

  8. Tough Guy

    “I’m sorry you’re a pussy, please go see my movie and buy my wahlburger hamburgers.”
    Mark Wahlberg now edited by his lawyers, because real mother fuckers need a lawyer to tell them what to say.

  9. it had to be said

    What’s funny is that on September 12 we all knew not to obey hijackers. On September 11 we all knew that they land in some Third World shithole and if everything goes well everyone, or at least the vast majority of people get released. Marky Mark may have forgotten the difference between those two days.

  10. “Irregardless”….brilliant!

  11. If the hijackers had been a middle-aged Vietnamese man and Marky-Mark had a stick, then maybe he could have sneaked up and blinded him, but that could never happen in real life. Oh wait …

  12. Butters

    They should flash mob him on an airplane and re-enact a hijacking. No Ashton Kutcher bullshit where he is told beforehand that he’s going to be punk’d but really real flashmobbers that nobody knows. “Would you like a hand towel sir…… OH MY GOD HE’S GOT A GUN!”

  13. Richard McBeef

    I’m not sure what’s more tiresome, 9/11 talk or marky fucking mark.

  14. Mark Wahlberg 911
    treble clef
    Commented on this photo:

    Mark Wahlberg is Bolt.

  15. Truth151

    Maybe he’s out of line for calling people out but seriously.. would you sit there and wait to die or fight back? Go buy some kind of self defense video or join a dojo, pussies.

    • you wouldnt have gotten up

      prior to 9/11 the conventional wisdom was that you sit tight and you might survive a hijacking. For 50 years prior to 9/11 a hijacked plane meant a diverted flight with a landing on an airstrip.

      To act like you would have forseen the suicidal nature of the Al Queda pussies is stupid.

      In fact, the only reason the heros on UA 93 knew they had to ‘roll’ was because they had communicated with the gorund and learned that the hijackers were on a suicide mission.

      This site is fun for hollywood snark, but somethings are serious.

      • Truth151

        Don’t tell me i wouldn’t have gotten up, obviously you wouldn’t have based on your comments. Maybe you’re watching too much Hollywood because in real life terrorists don’t hijack planes to get talked into landing and going peacefully.
        “To act like you would have forseen the suicidal nature of the Al Queda”. Step out in the real world, there is a big difference between the average idiot hijacking a plane and a terrorist hijacking a plane.

      • rusty shakleford

        Truth151 needs to get over self – and go F self

  16. Jill Ess

    “Irregardless” FTW

  17. Father Karras

    Typically I think he’s a d-bag but, this time, I kind of have to side with him. Stop 9/11? Probably not, but if I’m gonna die I’m gonna die fighting the muthafucka trying to kill me. That’s for gotdamned sure!

  18. Insider

    Who cares? He’s smoking hot and I’d like to give him some pussy.

  19. dontkillthemessenger

    I agree with Marky Mark. Last week, the idiots at Wendy’s shorted me 1 chicken nugget. I immediately sprang to action and hoped over the counter. I grabbed my nugget and several dip sauces (I’m just gangsta like that) and told those bastards to kiss my ass and deal with it.

    P.S. I’m typing this from the County Jail computer… can someone please bail me out?

  20. If I was in WWII I would have fakin’ went like “yo you nazi mothafuckas, I’m here to faaack your face up!”. I would have totally saved the western world from like fackin’ commies and shit.

  21. He’s still a shitty actress!

  22. Jester

    Really Fish, Censored?

  23. exAkamai

    One of the guys in First Class on American flight 11 was a former Israeli special forces soldier. According to Wikipedia, he tried to stop the hijackers and was probably the first person killed in the overall “9/11 Attack”

    Too bad he wasn’t an actor like Mark Wahlberg. Then maybe he would have kicked all their asses and saved the day.

  24. FreshBait

    This reeks of falsehood. I can’t believe that anyone, whether they felt this way or not, would be heartless enough to write or say something like this, like this.

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