Mark Cuban for President: Slam Dunk or Nah?

“I like him because he’s not a politician.”

“I think it’d be interesting to see him shake the game up and run the country like one of his businesses.”

“I’m a 43-year-old man who still plays with fireworks and has sexual feelings for my miniature horses.”

These are the kinds of soundbites I heard when Trump supporters were asked why they voted for him. Have we seriously not learned the lesson that just because you’ve got money doesn’t mean you automatically possess the capacity to run a government by now? Apparently not, because Mark Cuban has gone out and publicly stated that he is considering throwing his name in the hat for the 2020 presidential race.

Cuban sat down with TMZ founder Harvey Levin (WTF?) to idiotically bumble through how and why he would run for president. His main points include the fact that he is “socially a centrist,” which basically means that he’s cool with a status quo and not putting his foot down on issues like, oh I don’t know, allowing women to do what they want with their vaginas, tackling systemic racism/how our penal system is basically modern slavery, or allowing transgendered people to take a dump. It’s all gucci for rich, white people though because he’s fiscally conservative and down to cut taxes for people who have no idea what it’s like to survive off peanut butter sandwiches for a week because rent was due…

Cuban supported Trump in the primaries but jumped ship as soon as he realized he was a fucking fraud and didn’t actually give a shit about anything.

To be honest, I don’t think Cuban could possibly do a worse job than ‘he who shall not be tweeted,’ but that doesn’t mean it’s an open invitation to try and get a redo on a celebrity president. I’m curious what you think, though… just about as curious as I am about what kind of person prefers cheese nips over cheez-its.