Marisa Tomei learned to be a stripper by watching Rock of Love

December 10th, 2008 // 69 Comments

Apparently, playing a stripper is this year’s retarded person, and quite frankly, it’s about time. Marisa Tomei takes her turn on the pole in The Wrestler, and she extensively researched her role by watching episodes of Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. Because, honestly, where else will you find a more concentrated resource of strippers? Besides under my bed. The Sun reports:

She said: “I had a friend who is a yoga teacher and she does a lot of pole dancing so I asked her to teach me. I went to a lot of clubs and watched to see the different styles of dancing.
“I would practice in a dance room with a bar and a mirror, like a ballet studio. I watched Rock of Love, that reality show with Bret Michaels, where he’s trying to get a wife and they’re all strippers. That was my closest association to the actual world of it.”

Jessica Biel, after seeing your recent work, I hope you’re taking notes from Marisa here. She has an Oscar and knows a thing or two about this acting schtick. As Marisa demonstrates, if you’re going to play a stripper, there are two crucial components to an effective performance:

1. Toplessness. Not showing your breasts is like playing a pirate and not putting a sword between his teeth. Where’s the authenticity?

2. Questionable hygiene. I don’t know about you, but when I get a lap dance, I better be quietly thinking about burning my pants when I get home. That’s called “showmanship.” (Write that down.)

So remember, Jessica, a great stripper performance is like a fine wine – but with breasts and probably the clap. Words to live by.

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions of Oscar gold.

Photos: The Sun
superficial

  1. Drago The Perv

    Biatch

  2. Randal

    A great actress showing how great she can act.

    Randal

  3. Something Tasty

    There is no way that is her body. I am thinking body double.

  4. Ram Punchington

    Best. Post. EVER!

    Punchington Out.

  5. els

    Is there a reason there is a vagina in her armpit in the first pic???

  6. I would have no problem in paying a fee to Marisa Tomei strip.

  7. I would have no problem in paying a fee to Marisa Tomei strip.

  8. I would have no problem in paying a fee to Marisa Tomei strip.

  9. Tim

    Even when older women look good they look bad.

  10. Mini Cantrell

    No air brush there. I love Marisa always have and if she is available so am I

  11. Dork

    She is one hot MILF! I especially love the nipple jewelry…

  12. Fem

    See, you asshole guys.

    Just cause a women’s older, it doesn’t mean she has to objectify herself to become relevant again….oh, wait….

  13. Parker

    Open letter to Marissa:

    Dear Marissa,

    How much do you charge for anal sex?

    Love,

    Parker

  14. Will

    I don’t get it. Are these broads’ husbands actually fine with the entire world seeing their wives’ tits??

  15. Bob

    She is such a hottie… Good job on this post! I would totally do her.

    http://internetmiscellanea.blogspot.com/

  16. Valkyrie

    PARKER. I am So disappointing in your non graphic mention of anal sex.

    Marissa Tomei has always been sexy. She also has the cute thing gong as well.

    Love the last shot of her.

  17. Marisa

    Dear Parker,

    Charge??? I PAY for it!!!

    But you misspelled my name, so fuck off retard.

    (no butt)Love(for you),

    MariSa

  18. morga

    lookin’ damn good for 44

  19. BigJim

    Tits are for kids. Show us your monkey.

  20. ur fav brunette

    since no one else commented on it….i thought it was hilarious that she said ALL the girls on Rock of Love are strippers…..hahahahahaha good way of putting it: either they are or they want to be, its the same thing :) hahaha

  21. Obama Biden

    DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUM!

    DEM WHITE WIMMINZ IZ FIYNE!

    DON BE TELLIN MICHELL DA MUNKEY.

    ~O

  22. OnlyGayEskimo

    When did SHE get hot?

    I suppose age looks good on some women who were less than hotties in their youth. Way to make up for lost time Marissa – if I were a lesbo, I’d totally do you lady.

  23. Ahh yes Marisa tomei forever the cutie!!!

  24. jake

    Um…wow. You guys need to get out more. This is definitely the mid-afternoon shift at the strip club.

  25. Bill Clinton

    Kinda looks like someone I used to date…what was her name again? Anyway I have seen better…Bill is gonna pass.

  26. havoc

    She’s looking a litlle rough, but I’ve always had a thing for her….

    .

  27. Striptizeta

    44 year old stripper? Only in a movie, most strippers retire 27-29. Must’ve been hella plastic surgery to look like that at 44… (ps, do some women really not do anal?)

  28. sweet

    nice nips. i;d tap that.

  29. chiefbobo

    Oh My! She’s always been cute. She’s now graduated to sweaty hot!! I can haz pleeze!?

  30. GiggityGoo

    I’d pay!

  31. Johnny B.

    I’m siding with Bill Clinton, I’m gonna sit this one out.

  32. #16 The story is something that has to spring to mind immediately. If it doesn’t don’t write. Otherwise I would spend maybe 5 or 6 minutes thinking of a story then writing rather than 1 or 2 minutes typing a story that wrote itself.

    Yes, of course I would enjoy a some time with Marrisa’s ass. It is very fine. But these photos failed engender a theme and as a consequence no story arose. Contrast this with the case of Ann Hathaway story. The theme was obvious so I had no work to do but typing. Like the superficial I am often a very lazy writer.

    http://thesuperficial.com/2008/12/anne_hathaway_likes_to_get_shi.php#comment-2260441

  33. Vince Lombardi

    If those nipple rings are authentic, she’s jumped way up there in the “women over 35 I’d like to have” list. And by “have,” of course, I’m referring to mad hours of sweet monkey love.

  34. Dan

    This woman is 44 years old.

  35. supersex

    44 and better than most 21 yr old

    definitely fuckable

  36. Ted Mosby

    Would hit with assunder.

  37. Rark Buffalo

    I’d fuck her spaghetti eating wop ass

  38. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r .. c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  39. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r .. c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  40. Red Grange

    As always – FUCK YOU NANCY YOU SPAMMING CUNT!

  41. SMB

    …what was the budget on this fucking thing that not only could they afford marisa tomei (yeah, i know, her top dollar days are behind her, but, still), but they can pay her enough to get naked, and pierce her nipples??? is she really at the point where she’s just another 40-something actress desperate for work and attention? (yeah, i know, the nipple bling are probably prosthetics she put on and took off for the movie, which leads to me to the question; WHERE DO I APPLY FOR THAT JOB…and does it have a good dental plan)

  42. Dan

    Is it wrong that this woman is old enough to be my mother but I’d still make her pregnant?

  43. Rich

    Ms. Mona Lisa Vito still looks good

  44. Rich

    Ms. Mona Lisa Vito still looks good

  45. Kristen

    #14 – last time I checked, women don’t have to get approval from their husbands before they make business decisions. And besides, why would any husband care? He’s the one that gets to f*ck her..not the people seeing the movie.

  46. Wow, is she just the CUTEST???

  47. ummm...yeah

    Excuse me while I throw up…

  48. Joe Blow

    I would love to stretch her out

  49. I dunno, her tits look kinda gross to me. Mine are better :D

  50. i prefer it is a fake news as well as some magazines said she kept dating some young, handsome and tall men from the famous handsome men seeking site ___TallLoving.c o m___ in the past weeks. Good luck, Woman!

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