Marisa Tomei learned to be a stripper by watching Rock of Love

Apparently, playing a stripper is this year’s retarded person, and quite frankly, it’s about time. Marisa Tomei takes her turn on the pole in The Wrestler, and she extensively researched her role by watching episodes of Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. Because, honestly, where else will you find a more concentrated resource of strippers? Besides under my bed. The Sun reports:

She said: “I had a friend who is a yoga teacher and she does a lot of pole dancing so I asked her to teach me. I went to a lot of clubs and watched to see the different styles of dancing.
“I would practice in a dance room with a bar and a mirror, like a ballet studio. I watched Rock of Love, that reality show with Bret Michaels, where he’s trying to get a wife and they’re all strippers. That was my closest association to the actual world of it.”

Jessica Biel, after seeing your recent work, I hope you’re taking notes from Marisa here. She has an Oscar and knows a thing or two about this acting schtick. As Marisa demonstrates, if you’re going to play a stripper, there are two crucial components to an effective performance:

1. Toplessness. Not showing your breasts is like playing a pirate and not putting a sword between his teeth. Where’s the authenticity?

2. Questionable hygiene. I don’t know about you, but when I get a lap dance, I better be quietly thinking about burning my pants when I get home. That’s called “showmanship.” (Write that down.)

So remember, Jessica, a great stripper performance is like a fine wine – but with breasts and probably the clap. Words to live by.

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions of Oscar gold.

Photos: The Sun