Marisa Miller teaches Advanced Bikini Posing

November 9th, 2009 // 89 Comments

Here’s Marisa Miller teaching the contestants on America’s Next Top Model how to give me an erection so hard it’s capable of producing 1.21 gigawatts of “Baby, I swear I usually last longer. — Back rub?” Look, I know sometimes I get on my soapbox about religion, Carrie Prejean and the entire Republican party save Meghan McCain’s funbags, but even I can concede there are times when performing the Lord’s work is the only thing holding the very fabric of our society together.

This, my friends, is one of of those times.

Photos: The CW
superficial

  1. Richard McBeef

    would plow

  2. I’d buy that for a dollar!

  3. Jami

    I actually saw this episode of ANTM and she actually knows what she’s talking about, she is an expert at posing in a bikini, if thats even considered a skill oh and FIRST!

  4. Oliver Chester the Molester Lester

    She taught me that I can have an erection that can touch my bellybutton

  5. Jami

    I guess i wasn’t first, it was a good try though!

  6. jackson_hale

    It really never works when a gay guy or lesbian pretends to be a horny heterosexual male. This sight used to be funny. Now its become tiresome.

  7. tom

    FIRST!

  8. Parker

    Obviously she’s also qualified to teach women how to have anal sex with pics 3 and 4 being among the more classic positions. What a gem this woman is.

  9. Wow. That’s all natural baby. And: EW on the erections.

  10. Of course…posing in a bikini requires at least a bachelor’s. Or just a bachelor.

  11. Kristen

    This site is turning in to PerezHilton.com. You are so anti-Republican and anti-conservative. Seriously, keep politics out of it. You were hilarious before you started pushing your liberal bias into the stories.
    And, no, I am not a Republican. I’m just sick of hearing about your political views.

  12. Turd the third

    She is totally bangable. Excellent bod, nice ass, looks real and healthy. No moosefoot, nice face…..and NO TATTOOS for that trash look. My only question, does she have a personality?

  13. fat guy in little shirt

    pic 5

    wow.

  14. Taz

    I just blew my load!

  15. Jenn

    Agreed with 6. This site sucks now. Just takes a while to get old habits out of your system I guess.

  16. Fantastic Breasts Natural

    I found some topless picture of Marissa when she was barely legal. They are on a tennis court, and her tits make your mouth water. She was probably 19.

  17. Deacon Jones

    YEAH!

    @6 Get back to listening to emo and cutting yourself

  18. I’d like to get a few modeling tips from her too.

  19. um

    16- this one?
    [img]http://www.repubblica.it/2006/08/gallerie/gente/miller-canestro/esterne261532452605153421_big.jpg[/img]

    does that work?

  20. Intermino

    Best. Body. Ever.

  21. Lisa

    I think she’s got one of the hottest bodies I’ve every seen … BUT she also has a pretty big case of man-face going on.

    On a side-note: #11–Totally agree.

  22. Lisa

    I think she’s got one of the hottest bodies I’ve ever seen … BUT she also has a pretty big case of man-face going on.

    On a side-note: #11–Totally agree.

  23. e-rock

    Sorry to burst your “all natural” bubble, but those puppies are SILICONE. Thats a fact jack. Women with implants can spot them a mile away, and if you think otherwise, you don’t know shit. She might have been large naturally a decade ago (ala Jessica Simpson who also got implants to keep those bad boys from sagging), but you can actually see the outline of them. Just sayin.
    But she IS drop dead gorgeous, waaaaay hotter then that Krupa chick. ;o)

  24. Fantastic Breasts Natural

    23 is correct, her breasts have been enhanced. I have topless pics from when she was about 19

  25. awwww why’d you have to bring up the man face, ruined it

  26. Rub 2 out

    Check out Denise Milani …F’n huge rack

  27. booger

    Perfect 10. She makes those other girls look like Ugly Betty.

  28. Dani

    Make a REAL wish!

    make a wish: http://www.real-wishes.com

    8,888 wishes granted…~*BELIEVE*~

  29. Teeter

    Superdoucher,

    If you would quit squawking about conservatives for a minute maybe you could do your job and notice that there is a possible smirking camel toe in the that first picture.

  30. LLL

    Agreed #11 and 29. And I am a conservative, there are those of us out there who enjoy laughing at this shit too.

  31. She sure is gorgeous!! Love love love the purple. Wish she’d do a new album!

  32. VtFarmboy

    I agree with #11 this keep the politics out of it. If you have liberal leaning views fine but lets keep this site fun not like Prez has gotten

  33. VtFarmboy

    I agree with #11 this keep the politics out of it. If you have liberal leaning views fine but lets keep this site fun not like Prez has gotten

  34. If only her face wasn’t so horsey…

  35. lololololol

    i don’t even like conservatives/republicans but gossip sites are hardly advancing any progressive agenda by going all political; in fact, you’re doing the opposite. btw, what does marisa miller have to do with republicans again? i think she’s hot but way overrated as a swimsuit model.

  36. Real Woman

    She’s a stick figure. A prepubescent boy figure. A real woman has a nice, big, dimpled, floppy set of buttcheeks and a nice bulging belly. Too bad you fags can’t handle that.

  37. ITSJESSICA

    SHE LOOKS LIKE JESSICA SIMPSON BEFORE SHE PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT !!! BEAUTIFUL..ID HIT IT

  38. ITSJESSICA

    SHE LOOKS LIKE JESSICA SIMPSON BEFORE SHE PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT !!! BEAUTIFUL..ID HIT IT

  39. ITSJESSICA

    SHE LOOKS LIKE JESSICA SIMPSON BEFORE SHE PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT !!! BEAUTIFUL..ID HIT IT

  40. #36

    #36 GROW UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WOULDNT KNOW A REAL WOMAN IF SHE TITTY SLAPPED YOU WITH HER BIG OL TITTYS !!!!!!!!!

  41. #36

    #36 GROW UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WOULDNT KNOW A REAL WOMAN IF SHE TITTY SLAPPED YOU WITH HER BIG OL TITTYS !!!!!!!!!

  42. #36

    #36 GROW UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WOULDNT KNOW A REAL WOMAN IF SHE TITTY SLAPPED YOU WITH HER BIG OL TITTYS !!!!!!!!!

  43. Tire Swing

    If you’re reading for political content instead of staring at Ms. Miller, you’re doing it wrong.

  44. Too Sexy and really hot.
    In creamy bikini she is looking to hot.Great sexy appeals she is delivering.
    Really too hot.

  45. Arch your back and shake your tail all you want, my dear. Your horseface takes you out of the running.

  46. Annie Loves Anal

    Agreed! More tits ‘n ass. Less politics! that’s what turd burglar Perez is for.

  47. Jeff

    god you suck now fish. i used to piss myself laughing, all this shit is now is you trying to shove your crazy lefty views down our throats like the rest of this country/news channels/ our “president” i hate you

  48. Chicken Fillet

    Typical right wing, red neck yank. Look at what your country has gotten itself into by being the consumed by its own greed and ego… in debt to China for 12 trillion, which will likely never recover from. Pathetic. You country needs some serious dosage from the ‘lefties’…

    Fuck I’d hit that with everything I’ve got.

  49. Iris

    Hey, I’m an open minded girl from US, I’m interested in exotic things, photography, dating and sports…
    I have my photos on — T a l l h u b . C o m —, I love tall guys!
    Do you love traveling and have some experience? Just find me out.

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