Marisa Miller & Alessandra Ambrosio in bikinis

May 8th, 2009 // 45 Comments

Here’s Marisa Miller and Alessandra Ambrosio in the latest Victoria’s Secret Swimsuit campaign which is probably the most important and pressing news of the day. Obama could eat a puppy on live TV, and I’d just be thinking about Marisa Miller’s breasts. It’s like I have an amazing superpower or something.

Photos: Victoria’s Secret

  1. Deacon Jones

    I’m going to hold up a picture of Ambrosio to my friend’s bitch of a wife and go
    “What were you talking about?” and just walk away.

  2. Prick McGill from Bunker Hill

    Thank God, some decent looking women instead of the no-talent fat ass Kim Kardashian and the rapidly aging and anorexic looking Lindsay Lohan.

  3. ph7

    If there really was a God, every woman would look like these women or better.

    Instead, the world is filled with porkers, butterfaces, and snaggletooths.

  4. JPRichardson

    Marissa Miller is God.

  5. Davo

    @ 4…

    There is a God, and he in his infinite sense of humor will give you a daughter that looks like this and you will be cursed with defending her innocence for years to come.

  6. Italian Stallion

    Map of Hawaii all over her stomach…..

  7. Prettybaby

    #4 You forgot the butterbones girls.

    “She’s hot, but her bones”

  8. Boogeyman King Dong

    The noble guy i am.I’m willing to sacrifice myself again!

  9. havoc

    I got nothing.

    It goes without saying…..


  10. Disco Lives

    Yeaahhhh baby…perfect set of tits to do some lines off of!
    (walks out of room backwards, while dancing)

  11. Iambananas

    Okay, those are real.

  12. preety nice looking
    want some more stuff click my name

  13. preety nice looking
    want some more stuff click my name

  14. booblooker


  15. Rossi

    That’s some pretty awful air-brushing. Every model’s bottom half is blurred perfectly smooth and has zero detail, while the top half is extremely focused. It looks like what would happen if a 15 year-old attempted to modify their Myspace pictures.

  16. Iambananas

    … and every man would look like this:

    But unfortunately, all the men have small dicks, small arms, big bellies, bald heads, bad attitudes and couldn’t find your g-spot with a man AND your g-spot.

  17. gotmilk?

    yeah someone needs to hire a better airbrusher.

    signs that you need to eat something – your elbows are the biggest part of your arm.

  18. DeviousJinx

    Well put, lambananas!

  19. Disco Lives

    @ Lambananas

    Hey suga, if I see you on the dance floor tonight, I’ll jump kick your head! HiYA!
    (cross kicks air, does key bump, moonwalks out of room)

  20. ? approve

    so true 18. don’t forget about erectile dysfunction on top of all that. haha.

  21. jm

    Long torsos? I think they look a little under weight and shapeless would probably look better with a few pounds

  22. ph7

    The difference, Lambananas, is that men have the money in this world, and that attracts women despite our physical appearance. (Look at Selma Hayek’s new husband). Men also, on average, improve as they age.

    Women, with a few rare execeptions, have it ALL riding on their physical appearance – and they peak at age 22-23, after which it’s all a long, slow, degrading decline into wrinkled, dried grannydom.

    A man with money, despite his age can just re-up with younger women once their current woman loses that new-car smell. Women, instead, once over 35 and drying up like a dead flower, have little or no options to improve on a tired mate. They are stuck .

    Don’t shoot me – I’m just the messenger.

  23. Deacon Jones


    Yeah, well I guarantee their husbands wouldnt suffer from this if they had an 18 year old cheerleader with pigtails doing splits in their lap

  24. Zanna

    @24- you know what trump’s men’s money? PUSSY. No matter how much money you got…you want some and you’re paying for it one way or another.

  25. Joana

    OMG, didn’t Alessandra have a baby like last Thursday, or something?! I know that they probably have a thousand personal trainers and work out 26 hours a day, but man… That has to have something to do with genetics too!…

  26. Jimmy

    Laughing at #22.

    Never heard of a case of erectile dysfunction that upgrading to a younger, hotter woman couldn’t solve.

    It’s like the man who no longer opens a car door when going out to dinner – there is no problem with the man’s hand. It has everything with the diminishing returns for opening that door.

  27. Coozie Watusi

    Wow, that’s some fine trim! However, I don’t think it’s Marissa, nose is different and did they airbrush out her freckles?

  28. Who are these freaks with the “eat something” dont they have plus size models? no one tell them to lose weight…

  29. Some Girl

    @# 28: Tell that to Manny Ramirez…

  30. GaGa

    These women aren’t even human. Even thought they airbrushed off Marissa’s freckles and did some retouching, these girls are tall, skinny beautiful and set an impossible stardard for us mortals to live up to.

  31. Miss Australia

    Wow! there is so much jealosy on this site! these girls look fantastic n u all know it!

  32. Mike

    No Toe, No Grow.

  33. irtwg`

    Apparently I’m the only one who thinks that Allesandra is really ugly in the face and I don’t like her body either. Marissa has a perfect body though and a nice face.


  35. whomever

    Are you guys seriously bitching about the airbrushing? SERIOUSLY? I’m a chick and I can’t stop looking at their bodies. Hellllloooooo, focus.

  36. Matthew

    Marisa Miller- proof there is a God

  37. chlöe

    very pretty!

  38. Darth

    It’s almost hard to see who is which one.Maybe if they were naked i could see it better?

  39. fake boobies

    its called BREAST AUGMENTATION. 4 TUMMY TUCKS AND PLASTIC INSERTION in places plastic should not be inserted. Give me 6 million dollars and god dammit I will look just like her fake ass.. genetics my ass

  40. conscise found

    Too fit.

  41. WOW… nice baby :)
    I’ve found Marisa Miller Nude Video ’10 for FREE

    > > > CLICK NAME

    good quality…

  42. There is one God and his infinite sense of humor you have a daughter that looks like this for years and will give you come up with to defend his innocence will be cursed.

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