Mariah was always a bitch

December 15th, 2005 // 27 Comments

tn_mariah_awards_cr.jpgIt’s damn near impossible to go a week without another example of Mariah Carey making an ass of herself. But at least now we know she’s been working on being a helpless primadonna with a fondness for showing off her rack since an early age.

”Believe me, diva is not a new term for me,” Mariah says.
”I was a total glamour queen as a little girl. I have pictures of myself as a six-year-old lying on the beach posing in a bikini. The funniest thing is that I signed one of the photos like I was already a celebrity.”

Yeah, that’s real funny, Mariah. About as funny as forcing people to feed you or marrying another record executive because you need someone to prop up your career. Maybe when you stop making horrible music you can branch out and release your own line of slut gear for prepubescents.


  1. Sheva

    It just doesn’t seem right to belittle her after she spent so much time and effort as a teen giving blowjobs on a bus back on Long Island.

    All those guys appreciate it.

  2. It amazes me that nobody has tried to murder her and eat her flesh. She really deserves to be cannibalized. Unfortunately I only know one or two cannibals, and they aren’t interested in her.

  3. Kat

    Actually, I don’t think that’s that bad… she’s probably just one of those people who always knew she’d be famous, even as a child.

  4. dhampir

    Uncommonamerican, ask yourself this: What the hell is there left to eat??

  5. ppp

    you know, I wouldent care if she was a bitch… i she wasn’t so damn fat. Ugly people don’t deserve to get away with being bitchy.

  6. dhampir

    Fat? She’s not fat, and shes certainly not ugly. If you’re going to comment, atleast make it witty or slightly original, you pathetic hack.

  7. ppp

    Look at her knees, and then tell me she’s not fat.

  8. unknownassassin

    fat, ugly, bitch-on-wheels or otherwise, she certainly deserves some credit for sustaining her career this long; it’s well over a decade now that she’s been stalking derek jeter, bursting the eardrums of thousands of dogs, and whoring with octagenerian record company execs… and we’re still talking about her today. so, kudos, mariah carey!–thanks to you, nine year-old girls all across this great land are writhing around on the ground in camisoles sans panties like alley cats in heat, lip-synching to your pre-packaged r & b instant classics (just as you lip-synched your own song at the halftime performance during the lions/falcons thanksgiving day game)… you are indeed a national treasure.

  9. HollyJ

    Look at how she’s gripping those trophy balls with that glassy stepford wife pageant smile. =0

  10. BurnZ

    Mariah Carey is a dirty, ugly, fat, slutty, stinky, saggy-breasted, crazy, skanky, insane, drug addict, fatass, stupid bitch.

  11. Linnea

    Not only is she a total slut; she also looks like the fat, bloated, hideous corpse of the hooker I stuffed under my bed last week.

  12. mommy_long_legs

    Ok, I think some of her music is good, and yet she still manages to get on my nerves. In a perfect world, she and JLo would go somewhere else and start a new planet together, so we wouldn’t have to live with them anymore. Just my 2

  13. naeco

    look at her with no makeup and she looks like an old hag with disgusting fat curves.

  14. naeco

    makeup works miracles…

  15. sammygirl

    To me she looks more bloated than fat. Especially her upper body. From the waist down her legs look okay to me, but her shoulders, arms and chest look like they’ve expanded. Maybe breast augmentation would explain the bloated chest, but what about those man shoulders? I don’t recall her looking that way a few years ago.

  16. sara1beth2

    I swear to you, all I want for Christmas is for this self centered bitch to get NONE of the music awards she has been nominated for. Oh yeah, and a new Jaguar.

  17. CoJo

    The only reason her upper body looks disproportionately big is because she’s perpetually sucking in her fat stomach. I bet Tommy Matola is getting off from how fat and ugly she’s gotten – not to mention how her “career” sank since they split!

    BTW- I remember seeing her Behind the Music and she was ultra close, like Beyonce-close with her Mom…anyone seen Mom lately? I think she ate her…I may be on to something…either that or her Mom became just as ghetto rich as Mariah is, got hooked on coke which then of course led to crack which then of course led to a “Will blow for blow” situation, and her Mom just was too old and fat and cracked-out to find a new husband to boost her back to a psudo-celebrity level like her old and fat and cracked-out daughter.

  18. CoJo

    Better yet, maybe Mom just said “No, Mariah.” and she had her thrown off the island.

  19. derekd

    No one can deny That Mariah can sing. If you do will your just a retard. What pisses people off about her is she seems to act like a cunt because she feels “thats what divas do and I am a Diva so I have to be a cunt.” No you don’t honey, here’s a suggestion: Be kind, considerate, generous and humble. You know, original.

  20. Sally

    She’s not fat, I must say… I also must say, however, that she looks like a balloon so blown-up it’s about to pop… I wonder how she came about that look, especially in the face… Maybe it’s coz she has a special little person that chews her food up for her and then injects it into her body… That way her face isn’t getting any exercise done, and that explains everything… You heard it hear first… From me… The genius… With waaayyyy too much time on her hands…
    Seriously though, I’ve always hated her body… It’s like a cross between a trasvestite and an old menopausal lady…


    heh, there’s a story here about her pissing herself in a restaurant lol

  22. SMF121490

    Since I have absolutely nothing good to say about her, I will say nothing at all.

  23. ThatsHot

    Whoa, whoa WHOA!!!! Hold the phone! Let’s break this down real quick: An innocent chantuse with an amazing voice is discovered after years of hardships. Gets signed to a major label and weds Tommy Motolla who makes himself out to be a good guy. Immediatly following the wedding, Motolla turns into a control freak Svengalli and virtually holds Mariah captive in their home. Years go by and they divorce. She continues on being succesful, but within the realm of the expectaions Motolla held her to, which really wasn’t her style. She gains a warped sense of self and slowly succumbs to stress and pressure of being a superstar. She invariably has a breakdown,has a box office AND musical bomb, then makes a comeback of all comebacks. Give me a break. Girlfriend derserves to act any way she damn well pleases. Eventho her songs lately sounds like she’d rather be a rapper, the bitch has paid her dues. And she’s not fat. She’s just not a weight-obsessed anorexicon.

  24. adhill

    Even though I cant stand her I would still shag her given the chance.

  25. LaydeeBug

    The woman is at least 36, she needs to stop dressing like she’s 18, which she’s not. She needs to start becoming classy, so that her image can match her talent. The woman has pipes, but no class nor sense of self-worth. It’s one thing to be proud of your body, it’s quite another to try to display it like a cheap whore. Oh, she is definitely a Long Island girl. She has become a clich

  26. TheRantingSwede

    THANK YOU! I love whoever wrote this entry. All I’ve ever heard for Mariah is praise (from both boys and girls) and all she’s ever been is a complete harlot. Slut – just see any one of her videos and you’ll be vomiting on top of your vomit at how talentlessly hollow her music is. And how reliant on the showing of flesh to provoke the males of our species into buying it(and some females, let’s not forget). Lesbians do exist.

  27. Greg

    You guys are horrible people. So much retardness all rolled into one. And I can’t believe such biased article ever end up to such noble, unbiased, respectful website.

    You idiots are all idiots. Mariah Carey is a very humble person most of the time. And that quote was her being honest.

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