Mariah Carey likes decorating her cleavage

January 29th, 2008 // 77 Comments

Mariah Carey went shopping yesterday at Van Cleef & Arpels on Rodeo Drive. I have no idea what that is because I have a penis. Anyway, she tried on several pieces of jewelry. Apparently her breasts aren’t noticeable enough. Even the guy in the background, let’s call him Nigel, is trying to resist touching them. He’s mostly afraid the top button of Mariah’s shirt will rocket off at any second severing his finger. Then how will he explain that to his wife Mrs. Nigel? I mean, once she notices his well-earned Purple Heart.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

  1. Juaqin Ingles

    At least this bitch isn’t on the airwaves anymore with that nails-on-the-chalkboard voice of hers.

  2. a doe

    why does she keep reaching up to caress her collar and boobies??? it looks stupid

  3. Ted from LA

    For the same reason my dog licks his own genitals.

  4. She’s nothing special. I found many hot and sexy girls on this club There are many pixs and hot videos by those hot lady. You can go to check it now!!1

  5. Blondamnation

    #54 I would deport you so fast your greasy-haired head would spin.

    “many pix and videos by those hot lady?” Really? REEEallly?? THOSE hot lady? English, muther fucker, do you speak it??

  6. #55: Jackass, it’s spam.

  7. Cobra

    @53: That was one of the most succint — and accurate — comparisions I’ve ever seen. Kudos.

  8. agree

    OMG, she looks so hot. She has a nice body. Is she single now? I saw her profile on millionaire dating site W e a l t h yR o m a n c last week. Just curious.

  9. ManiacFive

    Almost 40, not married, making up for lost time. Someone should give her Milf Hunter’s phone number, she dresses like a slutty wealthy soccer mom, I’m sure the resulting video would be her biggest hit in years

  10. Poola

    oh god, she is so awful, what a hidious face, she always seems like that girl in school who thinks just because she would have sex with anything that somehow makes her desirable, although, I agree about the bod I just always want to smash her face in

  11. Wow … those must be new!

  12. Hugh Jorgan

    #53 If I could lick my own genitals I would never leave the house

  13. I think it is funny. She is just being Mariah.

  14. PunkA

    What a train wreck. This will be Britney is 10 years, except fatter, shorter, and still hawter. Mariah is just plain nasty.

  15. betenoir

    Mariah dear child: What is the fucking point? Is it that being a dick-tease turns you on? Or does your own body do that? Whatever, you are a worthless piece of shit. The only guys jerking off to your body are pathetic porn-addicted freaks and geeks with acne and bad breath. Guys who can’t get laid so they stay cooped up in their basements eating cheetos, then, with orange-stained fingers spank the monkey. Yuck!!!! This is one broad that I can’t wait to go through menopause. She’s going to fucking lose he mind!!!!

  16. norton

    What a classy gal…. I mean she just emits poise and grace.

  17. momo

    i wud decorate her….with sperm

  18. Cherry

    I finally see her in a nice outfit & she goes right ahead & spoils the whole bloody thing with her overtly prominent cleavage & “oh my god, I’m too fucking sexy” try-hard poses.

    She can’t do anything right, can she?

  19. Walizalawonga

    Ugh – She’s a fucking caricature of herself. A has-been, desperate Poseur. I wanna rip those retarded “let’s play movie star” glasses off her face and cram them up her ass.

  20. her boobs. i can’t stop staring at them.

  21. Queefer Bukakke

    Man, would I love to throw up between those tits.

  22. I´d like to spank Gorilla Face like a circus monkey while decorating Nigels recending forehead with a Peter North style Goo Gush.And I am pretty sure after it all three of us would need to smoke a cigarette….

  23. Mario

    I just adore Mariah’s beautiful face,big tits and big round ass,and i would like to have sex with her 24/7 !!!

  24. gagthebroad

    this is great, it’s how thinking effects her…HUH WHAT? I don’t know, I pay for someone to think for me I never will be able to think DUH!

  25. One "Iron Hard Rodney"

    looking at those incredible huge tits makes my dick hard. i feel like my cock is gonna explode!

    i’d love to force myself on her use my big dick on her (8.5″, 9.5 specially for her)

    i wanna void my seminal vessicles into her

  26. jimbojoe

    Supposedly Mariah is looking for a little more experience. I wouldn’t mind giving it to her. Shit if she can take a big cock then hell yea. ill have her moaning so loud itll crack all her windows. I wanna get in touch with her to see if she wants some of this italian stallion dick.

  27. i wanna touch her big boobs & decorate her clevage with my !

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