Mariah Carey went shopping yesterday at Van Cleef & Arpels on Rodeo Drive. I have no idea what that is because I have a penis. Anyway, she tried on several pieces of jewelry. Apparently her breasts aren’t noticeable enough. Even the guy in the background, let’s call him Nigel, is trying to resist touching them. He’s mostly afraid the top button of Mariah’s shirt will rocket off at any second severing his finger. Then how will he explain that to his wife Mrs. Nigel? I mean, once she notices his well-earned Purple Heart.
Photos: Pacific Coast News
Ted from LA | January 29, 2008 at 4:17 pm
I’d like to decorate her cleavage with my man-goo. Not really, but I couldn’t think of anything funnier to say.
surroundedby idiots | January 29, 2008 at 4:17 pm
nice rack
surrounded by idiots | January 29, 2008 at 4:18 pm
nice rack
yes huh i would | January 29, 2008 at 4:18 pm
i’d beat my dick on her lips. i really would.
granada | January 29, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Too bad she has a gorilla face.
FRIST!!! | January 29, 2008 at 4:21 pm
I like decorating CAKE
Al | January 29, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Meh. She’s nothing special. I don’t find huge fake boobs attractive at all. I wonder if she will ever grow up and actually wear something classy without her tits and ass hanging out all over the place.
Al | January 29, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Meh. She’s nothing special. I don’t find huge fake boobs attractive at all. I wonder if she will ever grow up and actually wear something classy without her tits and ass hanging out all over the place.
Jimbo | January 29, 2008 at 4:24 pm
I won’t have to look at her gorilla face while she’s gagging on my balls.
Matthew | January 29, 2008 at 4:24 pm
PUPPIES god i wish I whould do miss carey
Matthew | January 29, 2008 at 4:25 pm
PUPPIES god i wish I whould do miss carey
L.Linus | January 29, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Why don’t she get it over with and just pull that titty out and show the world!
Plastic Parts | January 29, 2008 at 4:29 pm
She’s so pathetic. Every picture she’s in, every show she does – she’s a pathetic poser, trying to stick out those fake titties and big ass. You never see her dressed in a classy outfit – always looks, and acts, like a slut. And always with that stupid expression on her face… LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME! I’M GREAT… DON’T YOU THINK SO??? Tommy M did’t think so. LOSER!
thechronicman | January 29, 2008 at 4:31 pm
I’d gladly give her a pearl necklace.
Gerald_Tarrant | January 29, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I agree with Jimbo/Jimbo Troll. I wouldn’t mind choking her with my purple helmeted warrior.
sjp | January 29, 2008 at 4:38 pm
tramp. she looks like she’s posing for the cover of a porn video.
i don’t remember her having such big boobs???
gigi | January 29, 2008 at 4:38 pm
wow! Mimi’s heaving bosom is almost in reach of that dude! closer…. closer…!
havoc | January 29, 2008 at 4:43 pm
NICE……
.
Spongebob Gangsta | January 29, 2008 at 4:44 pm
They took out Mariah and inserted a Dr Seuss character in pic #3
Kim | January 29, 2008 at 4:49 pm
TAKE OFF THE SUNGLASSES YOU ARE INSIDE! I’m so sick of wanna be celebs wearing giant sunglasses everywhere!
SexyV | January 29, 2008 at 4:50 pm
HAHAHA she does look like a Who. On the bright side, if guys think she’s hot, with that think oddly shaped mouth and all, I’m a freakin hottie.
RichPort | January 29, 2008 at 5:01 pm
She can’t talk with her mouth full… The things I would do to her sexually are likely banned by the UN Human Rights Cummission… When she unzips me it’ll be the Emancipation of RichPort… I’d ride her like a three wheeled SUV on a bumpy road during an earthquake… I’d send her tit doctor a thank you card… I’d unweave then reweave her hair while she was agag with my Mimi choker… I’d eat a crate of celery first to make sure she looked like she was melting when I sprayed her face like eses on Crenshaw when confronted by a rival gang… She makes my D flat a D sharp… I’d ass ream her while pulling her mouth from behind on both sides and make her say rubber baby bumpers with each sordid thrust… I’d chain her to a wall spread eagle in an airport hangar then run all the way across at full speed, fully erect, holding my joint like a pole vaulter while screaming BEEEEOOOTCH…
And that’s just the first date.
Dick Richards | January 29, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Say Mariah was evading a rapist in moronic looking high-heeled pumps and had to scale a chain-linked fence, snagging a breast on one of the metal twists — spliting the breast open — I believe, a giant egg yolk would pour out.
I hate Cadbury eggs.
Ted from LA | January 29, 2008 at 5:10 pm
How romantic.
BURGERNOODLE | January 29, 2008 at 5:11 pm
mariah carey is a weird beast.
FRIST!!! | January 29, 2008 at 5:14 pm
I’m hormonal, #15 should NOT be turning me on.
FRT | January 29, 2008 at 5:18 pm
I think that Nigel is ready to pop something! He might have the same thought as that rascal Ted from LA…see #1
zane | January 29, 2008 at 5:30 pm
“I wouldn’t mind choking her with my purple helmeted warrior.”
Adrian Peterson?
A | January 29, 2008 at 5:32 pm
look at that nice bubble ass she got
FreeJose | January 29, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Gross. She was hot seven plastic surgeries ago.
FRIST!!! | January 29, 2008 at 5:42 pm
#23 I love cadbury eggs
CougarTexas | January 29, 2008 at 5:59 pm
She’s such a has-been unfortunately, and I truly was a fan for a long time, a long time ago. Why the fuck did this make news?
Anyway, she’s still got a hot body, no matter what ya’ll say.
RichPort, you’re seriously very frightening. Anyone go this page tapped or tracking the posters? This guy is the next contestant on “To Catch a Predator”.
CJ | January 29, 2008 at 6:02 pm
beautiful body…butta face.
JagedNS | January 29, 2008 at 6:03 pm
I don’t find this skankbag attractive at all. The only thing bigger than those fake tits is her ego.
Morgan | January 29, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Oh my god, do you see how her skirt is so tight she can’t even sit up staright w/out showing a her little mini skank? Someone should tell her how friggin’ ridiculous she looks. How is having to sit in a position that makes you look like you’ve got to take a huge dump, make you just look sooo sexy? Silly skank, she deserves the men that are gonna beat her.
moobs | January 29, 2008 at 6:13 pm
she used to be “respectable” long time ago
then she traded that to be an everyday skank like the rest of them.
well, congrats!
WTB | January 29, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Good Lord, she really does think quite a lot of herself, doesn’t she?
g | January 29, 2008 at 6:19 pm
she really needs to lose some weight or get bigger gear
MassGrrl | January 29, 2008 at 6:27 pm
She looks like a cartoon character.
And, not just because of her huge tits, because I totally get hot for Pamela Anderson.
boo | January 29, 2008 at 6:33 pm
I so agree with #39. I thought Jessica Rabbit when I saw these.
Racer X | January 29, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Mariah Carey is soooo-o HOT!!!!
/would hit it so hard I’d need to use a sick day the next day
ST evec | January 29, 2008 at 7:09 pm
she still looks a lot like my childhood role model Curious George
Mama Pinkus | January 29, 2008 at 7:26 pm
nasty
MiCheDa | January 29, 2008 at 8:29 pm
that guy is smiling and thinking……….if my fingers were only three inches longer…mmmm or he just caught himself a little afternoon delight!
RichPort | January 29, 2008 at 8:42 pm
#32 – Hi CougarTexas Melloncamp!
I mean c’mon… it’s not like she’s a teenager, I mean she’s a year and a half older than me. It’s not at all like that time I was in Phuket, which I kept mistakenly pronouncing “fuck it”… and I did… the local teens still sing songs in the mountain jungle recanting the girth of RichPort… I’m sure the statute of limitations has passed so I should be good, but anyhoo… it’s just jokes, my dear. I mean, I would ABSOLUTELY let go of her throat when I choke fuck her, in time for her eyes to pop back in their sockets. Then I’d call her a cab (read: bus), because well, let’s face it, I’m a true gentleman.
Mr Semprini | January 29, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Cleavage[undecorated]=sad for Mimi…
asscrack | January 29, 2008 at 10:40 pm
turn out the lights, apply oil to massive breeeeassssssttttssssss and
OOOPS!! I promise I won’t ejaculate!!
AnonHatter | January 29, 2008 at 11:08 pm
*Laughing. She is ridiculous. De-lus-ional.
Ted from LA | January 29, 2008 at 11:11 pm
#41,
Syphilis symptoms don’t show up that quickly, but I’m sure a sick day or more would be in your future.
hausfrau | January 29, 2008 at 11:13 pm
She’s so very 80′s….
But at least she looks clean, unlike Britney, who looks like she showers approximately once a week if we’re lucky. God only knows if she’s washed her hair since she got that fantabulous weave. But I digress….I always want to punch Mariah in the face whenever her picture crosses my path.