Mariah Carey still married, chesty

October 8th, 2008 // 49 Comments

For the three of you wondering, Mariah Carey is still married to Nick Cannon and even threw a birthday party for him last night at Pure nightclub. I guess he gets one public appearance with Mariah a month, and in return she’s allowed to drain the youth from him then sleep unfettered in a hyperbolic chamber. Not that that’s a bad thing because, damn! It’s working. At this rate, Mariah will look like she’s in her 20′s by Christmas while Nick Cannon will morph into Redd Foxx and finally experience the indirect thrill of people recognizing him. Dreams do come true!


  1. Roberto


  2. Deacon Jones

    Mmmmm, I love when a curvy woman who dresses like a slut.

    Now can she cook, that’s the question…

  3. supersex

    second question
    can she suck a dick?

  4. MIKE

    Third question? Will she let me bathe her and douche her, then drink her douche water?

    I really love this woman. I would do anything to get my dick wet in her pussy.

    I would do anything to her she wanted, I would eat her pussy, eat her ass, WHATEVER.

  5. Jackson'shole

    Hey MIKE are you into crazy chicks with extensive plastic surgery or something? You sound about 13 years old. This marriage has really lasted way longer than I thought it would. I still give it only til the end of this year.

  6. Mike

    How about you make sense of what you are typing. Sound? I didn’t make a noise, I typed a few sentences, so how the fuck did you hear what I said to say I sound like I am 13?

    Oh and by the way I am in my 30s, and have had a crush on her forever.

    Plastic surgery or not, you have to admit she is looking fucking good, and very fuckable.

  7. regulator

    you know things aren’t looking good when your wife’s guns are bigger than yours..

  8. HyperBARIC chamber.

  9. Fuck, you guys are great writers. had to give it up.

  10. CaptainMorgan

    Not to incite the wrath of Mike (4), but I cannot stand this woman. Mike, she’s all yours!

  11. Jesi

    What a fat b*tch

  12. mike



    What the fuck? This lady just has meat. Which is sexy. What the fuck you want a skinny bitch with all bones, nothing to get your dick hard over.

  13. pistolita

    she’s not “fat”… she’s just an enormous looking woman. NOT SEXY.

  14. pistolita

    it’s night time, right? why is this bitch wearing sunglasses on her head?!

  15. rolacWAHHHH

    Nice shoes, Nick.

    P.S Mariah needs to retire from the public eye. I’ve never liked looking at her.

  16. rolacWAHHHH

    P.P.S – She’s not fat or enormous, she just doesn’t know how to dress for her body type.

    That body could take a pounding fo sho though.

  17. Geezus, is she enormous! Mariah Carey looks like a pig. I can’t even call her FAT. She’s too enormous for FAT. She’s gone beyond FAT at this point. And what is even sadder, is the fact that this huge pig is trying so hard to remain relevant that she was willing to marry a guy that looks like he’s a teenager. She’s like an enormous sex predator.

    Her legs are the size of x-mas trees! Christmas is coming up soon! Also, look at her face! There is something pig-like about it. It’s the face of a pig, with discolored shaped eyebrows.

  18. ass hat

    Hyperbaric you retard.

  19. There she blows!!!!! wonder if shes into a little humiliation in the bedroom!

  20. Needledick The Bug Fucker

    Bitch makes my ears itch

  21. Sport

    she tries way too hard to remain relevant.

  22. packinwood

    Who the hell is Nick Cannon and is he potty trained yet?

  23. plastique

    She needs to get a sex tape out there soon.
    She’s running out of time.

  24. Kim1206

    laugh all you want at her body or the credibility of her marriage – she’s pregnant:

  25. Mariah carey gets hotter by the day.

  26. Mariah carey gets hotter by the day.

  27. Mariah carey gets hotter by the day.

  28. nikuang

    They are so hot….
    [__""__]which is the biggest club in world for 18+ singles from different countries to meet cute girls or handsome men.They are tall and slender in build,hot and sexy.Join them,and go on have a look…
    Good luck for you,wish you find your girls or guys.

  29. britney's weave

    21: THANK YOU.

    she is not twenty anymore. who is she trying to fool? oh that’s right… herself.

  30. britney's weave

    21: THANK YOU.

    she’s not twenty anymore. who is she trying to fool? oh that’s right… herself.

  31. booyah

    I ain’t racist or nothing but Nick Cannon? Seriously Mariah, what do you see in that nichelodeon fag? Wow… What the hell does he do anyway?

  32. therusskie

    All jokes and nonsense aside, I LOVE the fact that she packed on pounds in like 2 months. LOVES IT! She’s not fat, but she was slimmer before. Ha! Married life will do that to you. Especially if you don’t shag. :)

  33. He’s familiar with the news?

  34. DVAC

    fuckin haters. Mariah is bangin’. She can do way better than this kid, and most of ya who are up on here are hatin ass females that just wish you could be her. Get over it.


    Fuck Her & Fuck him… No one cares. She has not done anything good in 5 years. He has never done anything but be a CLOWN!!!!

  36. Why are guys so attracted to Amazons? I truly do not get it. She is a fucking AMAZON!

  37. I am not sayin

    Mariah looks all that great but, Jackson’shole doesn’t like women, it likes Samantha Ronsen… aka pear shaped zombies with full blown AIDS.

  38. huh

    36- how so? look at her shoes, and she is still smaller than that guy. Have you ever seen Brooke Hogan?

  39. @38 Yes, I have seen Brooke Hogan; I think she’s an Amazon too. Height is not all it takes to make a person an Amazon. Look at the size of her head. She has an Amazon head and body. And she may be a little shorter than “that guy” wihout her shoes on, but she certainly is not smaller.

  40. hacksaw

    I’d hit it.

  41. jay

    nick cannon can play the snare drum and can’t read music. I hope he is getting PAID to be her husband. That’s one thing she does have is a FUCK load of money.

  42. gotmilk?

    uhh, nice wedding ring Nick. did you steal that from Melania Trump or did Mariah give you that when she proposed to you?

  43. MaoChan

    Yes, she sleeps in a roundish, oval bed thing. Not a hyperbaric chamber. Hire some writers that know not to trust speelchekkk too much.

  44. TAMEKA


  45. i read my moms playboy

    when will she start filming porn as im bored of her voice

  46. snackmix

    She’s still a pig too.

  47. STevec

    she still looks like Curious George

  48. Mike

    HER gunz are bigger than HIZ WTF! Hope for both their sake the penis/pussy relation isn’t similar, but knowing how it is in the recording industry, and what fists/feet/arms/legs go into various orifices to get the deal…

  49. you know things aren’t looking good when your wife’s guns are bigger than yours

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