Mariah Carey shows off her beaver

March 29th, 2006 // 127 Comments

NOTE: I have no idea where or when these pictures are from. For all I know they were taken eight years ago and Photoshopped, though if it was Photoshop I’d assume they would have made the picture more exciting. I dunno, maybe throw in a pirate in the background or something.


  1. TheReverendZoom

    #26 Did you look at the second picture after the jump? Pretty hairy panties even for Mariah.

  2. squidtits

    Oh, Mariah…one of these days i’m going to succeed in locating the clinic where you get your pampered, ample folds liposuctioned and bribe the porter to procure a tub of your finest blubba-chub for me to take home and go wild with! Oink oink!

  3. Tania

    #36: Because she HAS been drunk for the past 5 years. She’s the drunken equivalent to a chain smoker. Non-stop drunkenness.

  4. prideofchucky

    Well at least PETA would be proud,
    she obviously isn’t big on wearing fur!

    (Rim shot- cymbal crash!)
    Thats my time- remember folks tip ur waitress!

  5. Evangelia

    it is so misleading to call this a beaver shot! all it is, is a dime-sized triangle of ambigious (sp?), slightly scruffy skin.

    this proves nothing people! mariah is still a transvestite in my book!

    (have you ever heard her speaking voice? compared to her, al green is a falsetto.)

  6. Evangelia

    and thank you, #54. remember to tip your waitresses y’all.

  7. The Emancipation of Her Muff Muff.

  8. urockmysocks

    with all the money she made and she can’t even afford a pantie?! wth! yo maria, you ain’t jessica alba or angelina jolie, it can’t be any more gross than seeing your hairy monster with that monkey face of yours. i think i’m going blind! fark!

  9. Every single woman I know DON’T go out without panties. They tease, but never, ever go out like that. Only skunks like MC do that.

    Why they do that? To tease their pimps?

    “Jimbo, I’m not wearing panties… let’s go wild…”

    “shutup and give my money, bitch”

  10. the wolf

    What is she doing in those pictures? She looks like she’s having trouble negotiating a chair. It’s Mariah Carey, I guess that shouldn’t surprise me.

  11. #57 – Lala you about made me piss my self from laughing.

    Ok let’s take bets. I say 5 years she’ll be coked out like Tyrone Biggums, or even worse, Whitney.

  12. neenaboneena

    Looks like six more weeks of winter to me…

  13. lill

    Why doesn’t she just go ahead and do that Hustler spread? She goes around a third dressed anyway. Obviously an exhibitionist. I have a feeling if it weren’t for that voice of hers, she’d be an stripper…sorry, exotic dancer.

  14. ebayfan414

    I read the title and thought it said, “Mariah Carey Is A Beaver,” and I thought to myself what the fuck? She’s not a beaver! She’s a goddam hippopotamus!

    Actually that’s not true but I just wanted to mention somewhere in my comment that i thought Mariah was as fat as a fucking hippopotamus. There, I said it. Now I’m happy.

  15. running with scissors

    I just want to know why are her meat curtains a different color than the rest of her thickity thick chassis?

  16. karatekachick

    Maybe she is suctioned to the seat and trying to get free?

  17. Wombat

    NEWS FLASH – Mariah Carey has just been arrested for carrying 30lbs of crack

  18. domino

    #41 – *coffee monitor interface* :D

  19. for the one who said that those are just panties um no i have a vagina and thats what they look like . you must be freakin blind!

  20. JerseyGirl

    I’m beginning to think the first picture might actually be photoshopped. The top half of her looks so much smaller compared to the bottom half, but in the second one everything looks proportional. I dunno if it’s the angle or photoshop, but if you look at it long enough you really start to notice it.

  21. lastangelman

    Who cares about the trapshot? I can’t see anything worth the eyestrain for all that cellulite. Look how fat she’s gotten. Did she get the opposite of a liposuction – she must have gotten all Star Jones-Reynolds body fat injected into her – is she planning on being the next Mama Cass Elliot? Stop the taking the meds and the devil dog pastries, sweetie.

  22. monkeywithnoeyes

    #33 you’re right, she’s all woman…hell she’s all two women! i can’t believe she’s 36…how many times did that happen??

  23. bigfatmomma

    those are definatley pink panties, think about it, her legs are together and too fat for you to be able to see anything

  24. Mo

    I hate the biatch — and she is a biatch — but at least she eats. Maybe she can trade Hohan singing lessons for eating lessons.

  25. CheekyChops

    Argh! What’s with all her hand gestures when she sings and holding her ears? Too bad she’s not the one with the crack habit.

  26. meFailEnglish?

    It worked out so well with her abs, so she had it painted on one of the fat rolls from her thigh.

  27. ob1

    This trick needs to get on Whitney Houston’s South Compton diet of crack and Newports, and for you krisdylee #19 that “Gaaaahhh” sound is you gargling on my love spunk, you illiterate fuck.

  28. Jacq

    Why can’t rich people, like Paris & Mariah, afford panties? Kimberly Stewart obviously wears them, loud and proud. It’s always the girls that need undies who don’t put ‘em on.

    #33 – I don’t necessarily think that she’d look fat if you put her next to a normal person, but she doesn’t do herself any favors wearing clothes that look tighter than sausage casing.

    Between #45 and #77, I pick #45. We are illiterate and we like it that way. Trekkie.

  29. krisdylee

    Oh, ob1, that’s what I love about these posts… well done. I had a good laugh with my coffee. Is fuck a verb or a noun in that sentence? Cuz clarification would help me understand the insult much better. Love to you, kiss kiss…

  30. hafaball

    She has gigantic knees! O.o

  31. ob1

    Krisdylee #79 it’s all good. Take a perc for me, I too think they are delicious.

    As for Jacq #78, no one asked you and I guess you don’t think Mariah’s fat. What are you tipping the scales at 275…300? Try getting off the couch once and a while instead of watching Star Trek reruns, tool. Be careful you might not be able to fit into your Klingon outfit soon and the annual Trekkie Circle Jerk Convention just won’t be the same.

  32. Jacq

    Ouch. Go straight to calling me fat, that’s original. Are you embarrassed that I called you a trekkie when Star Wars is clearly superior? No one around here needs anyone’s permission to comment on anything or enter into any exchange. BTW, did Mommy let you keep the ‘No Girls Allowed’ sign on your door and what color DID she paint the basement?

  33. ob1

    #82 So let me get this straight, you’re not denying the fact that you’re morbidly obese?

  34. Jacq

    I’m extremely far from it, but who the f**k cares? I’ve got 2:1 odds you couldn’t describe a vagina if one hit you in the face (not counting the fact that you’ve seen Mariah’s, which is why we were posting here in the first place).

  35. gogoboots

    Mariah is not fat at all…she just wears clothes that are way too small for her. She’s like a size 6 or 8 but forces herself into a size 4 all the time. Those probably are her panties anyway, but it’s still horrifying to think her beaver is that pink.

  36. Italian Stallion

    When did the “Girl’s not allowed” sign go out of style?
    I might want to take that and the speed limit sign down when I get home…..
    Thanks for the heads up Jacq….lol
    In case anybody was wondering, she painted mine dark blue and added cool glow in the dark stars on my ceiling… that bitches!!!

  37. bigtuna299

    Maybe she is hoping that Primus would get back together and write a song about her beaver???

  38. Jacq

    #86 Stallion – I bet it looks like space with the lights off!! Just take the signs down when I sneak into your room at night. But I have to warn you, I’m apparently fat.

    My money says that ob1 lives in Vegas:

  39. Italian Stallion

    Sneak into my room, huh? I’ll make sure I put on the satin sheets…..
    Vegas it is!

  40. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    It’s nice when people make friends on the internet. By the way… OMG Mariah Carey is so fat and you can see her vagina!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

  41. Ing

    Why the hell is she getting around in a mini skirt with no panties on anyway..WE..sorry..I..dont want to see her FAT VAGINA SQUASHED BETWEEN HER FAT APE-LIKE THUNDER THIGHS..I would rather go to the zoo.

  42. Jacq

    Italian Stallion you fucking rock!! PERFECT timing!! I heart you!

  43. Jacq

    Italian Stallion you fucking rock!! BEYOND hilarious!! I heart you!

  44. Jacq

    Italian Stallion you fucking rock!! BEYOND hilarious!! I heart you!

  45. Jacq

    What is up with all of the crazy multi-posts today? I should’ve known better.

  46. blustarkp

    that is not human. after i go vomit up my dinner, wash my eyes, and remove that tiny fraction of my brain’s memory.. I’m pretty sure my thoughts would be… God, why?

  47. fantasiesofhope

    you guys are jerks. i think you really hurt ob1′s feelings. its really hard for people like him to leave his moms basement. but if it looked like stallions who would want to right! but seriously, he could be crying right now! i think an apology is in order

  48. Italian Stallion

    I think I just shed a tear!!!!
    Make up your mind, Planters HotNuts, or Italian Suasage!!!

    “I also agree with whomever said that Papa should get his own spot at the top. I think I have a crush on him!”

    I could always meet you half way, and put BenGay on my balls so you can have the best of both worlds, But I would like to avoid that at all cost!!

  49. J-Bo

    I can almost hear the loud creaking of the leather seat as she slides her ginourmous ass out of the car. Seriously tho…if she wasn’t a celeb…you all would be trying to nail her like mad in the parking lot of some diner …after a nite of buying her waffles and chicken. Call me a chubby chaser…but I’d do her.

    props to the po po zau reference in #42

  50. prideofchucky

    to: #62, neenaboneena- Respect!

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