Mariah Carey will appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show today to show off her amazing diet secrets. Turns out it’s as easy as hiring your own personal chef while you stand around your kitchen like a moron. Get out! Here I was deep-frying entire pints of Ben & Jerry’s. Ha! I was way off.
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Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | April 14, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I thought her dieting secrets included purging and liposuction….. shows you what I know.
Grunion | April 14, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Good cause Oprah could use some diet tips.
Pokey McSlapp | April 14, 2008 at 1:33 pm
So Bulemia is a diet tip? Who knew?
mer | April 14, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Look at those eyes. Simply insane.
noyb | April 14, 2008 at 1:43 pm
she’s echoing everything her slave, oops i meant cook is saying!
she’s stupid! PERIOD!
ash | April 14, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Thank you Mariah, for that. We don’t hear enough of what we CAN’T eat when dieting…. your an idiot.
FromOutOfNoWhere | April 14, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I don’t get it. We had our own personal chef since I was way knee little. We called her ma and grandma. We ate healthy just like rich white folks,
Protein
barbecue chicken
barbeque squirell
barbeque pork chops
Carbs,
Tater salad
Collard Green with fat back
black eyed peas
corn on the cob with butter
Fruit
Watermelon
Drink,
Water
Jumpin_J | April 14, 2008 at 1:45 pm
The only reason she’s on is to pimp her new album. I’m not going to tell you the name except the title is retarded and she hasn’t given me my cut yet. Remember, pimpin ain’t easy.
And Fish (Phish?), you got to get on top of the spamming situation. Entries like #2 are really effin annoying.
do1t | April 14, 2008 at 2:02 pm
I’m hungry already. Is it time for my 12 o’clock crouton?
I need to eat.
I’m going to http://do1t.net
Ted from LA | April 14, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I read she offered Oprah a bite of an appetizer and The Big O accidentally chewed off one of her fingers. What a crying shame. Please pray for her speedy recovery and remember to not feed the bears.
Auntie Kryst | April 14, 2008 at 2:50 pm
@11 Oprah took the term lady finger too literally.
I was told the story went on to say that the pain caused by the bite made Mariah howl out in an octave several degrees above high C.. Downtown Chicago was apparently paralyzed with glass shattering within a 15 block radius of Harpo studios.
hnb | April 14, 2008 at 3:01 pm
word NoYB.
Mariah
I’m really sorry, but you are painfully lame. Do you remember ‘dreamlover’ or ‘vision of love’? Do you remember when you were kind of respectable, and not just a r. kelly-like-talk-a-long song machine? I do. I miss that Mariah. I miss the Mariah that wasn’t covered in platinum butterfly…everything. I miss the Mariah that hit high notes in songs because she could and not because a rap hit collaboration isn’t a Vibe five mic hit without it.
Just sayin’, I miss Mariah.
HNB
jet | April 14, 2008 at 5:19 pm
What an idiot.
Mariah, give it up.
Oprah, why are you showing this kind of crap?
TrulyJulie | April 14, 2008 at 5:26 pm
I agree with HNB!
On another not this “secret” to her diet is a joke. Get effin real here people! God, these celebrities make me so sick.
Hannah T | April 14, 2008 at 7:21 pm
I just wasted 3 minutes of my life on that.
*goes to put head in oven*
G | April 14, 2008 at 8:01 pm
she’s a downright idiot.
robert | April 14, 2008 at 8:23 pm
she is sweet.My friend told me that she saw her profile with hot photos on _____i n t i m a t e m i n g l e .c om_______. Is that true? Maybe… OMG, is she looking for new relationships? I’ll check it out.
monkeyfightclub | April 14, 2008 at 11:25 pm
without having to see that I can image that the secret to any Mariah Carey diet is sausage gravy. Lots of sausage gravy.
cookie monsta | April 14, 2008 at 11:45 pm
Mariah? I woulda picked her as the insect eating type fo’ sho …
Sassy | April 15, 2008 at 2:14 am
Can I have a strawberry? Let’s see a strawberry. I can’t spell strawberry, but I can eat one. I have a seperate closet for my panties. I’m a douche. Can I have a strawberry. Mariah is smart with a capital ASSFACE.
King Wang | April 15, 2008 at 3:39 am
Ok, straight up, I read “Mariah Carey” and said “Fuck me, not another article on a washed up wannabe that never was, except maybe back in the late 80′s, or whenever, since no one gave a fuck about her anyway”.
Her offering Diet Tips is like Oprah offering child rearing advice, or Dr. Phil trying to help……..Britney Spears.
In other words: Fucking Stupid.
Her “Diet Advice” came from the personal trainer she slept with, in order to get free Diet Advice so she could sell it. Obviously because she never had a career.
Exactly why I would go on Oprah too as the “everyday woman” who knows how to swim from Cuba………shit, that was Gloria Estafan.
My bad………
She is still a 3rd rate Sausage Wallet for Diet Technicians. You just KNOW this bitch is hitting the Universities giving out THAT coochie for the info……
Blair | April 15, 2008 at 6:50 am
What would have been really funny is if instead of asking for a strawberry, Mariah had a breakdown and went for the jugular, “You BITCH! GIve me those FUCK-ING STEAK-UMS NOW!!!!” To which the personal chef would answer, “But, Mariah they’re 400 calories per steak-ummmmmmm.” And as she’d pass out onto the floor, Mariah would gorge out over her body.
me | April 15, 2008 at 8:42 am
i can’t imagine living with all those people in my house. i would go nuts. no friggin privacy. cooks in the kitchen butlers walking around. maids here and there. uggg, how the hell do you walk around naked and enjoy yourself with your man when you have all these people in the house? i guess money can’t buy you privacy or peace and quiet.
brook | April 15, 2008 at 9:13 am
Thanks Mariah, for repeating everything your cook said. I really needed to hear everything TWICE.
Moo | April 16, 2008 at 1:41 pm
someone hold me back im gonna kill her!!! grrrrr whats with the stupid diva hands?
Julien | April 16, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Wow – everyone is so mmmmmmmean…. Hmmmm. I thought she was great, looked great, sounded great, very inspiring. Peaceful, nice, kind… didn’t seem nervous. Why is everyone so down on her? What’d I miss? I’m off to download her new album.
Karl | April 16, 2008 at 8:09 pm
She’s doing what everyone else does in Hollywood : Hired a Chef and Personal Trainer.
I don’t get why you react this way to the video, there are SO many untalented famous people around nowadays that real singers like Mariah should be pretty much adored by everyone. She looks great, whatever she’s doing works.
Jessica | April 17, 2008 at 3:40 am
Wow she’s kinda… annoying
Jaxx | May 2, 2008 at 8:02 pm
I repeat: Mariah Carey is only the higest selling female recording artist of all time. You should all get jobs. Maybe if you worked hard…made something of yourselfs…accomplished positive things for yourselfs and others, you wouldn’t grow old and obese ragging on people who are in the public eye. Stop wasting time. Join the campaign to take down Wal-Mart , join a human rights group or animal activist group. Take steps to improve the environmental situation. I just saying…there is a real world out there that doesn’t involve clicking a mouse and talking shit. (Typing shit). “It’s time to migrate…bye”.