Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon throw kickass children’s party – for themselves

May 14th, 2008 // 35 Comments

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon rented out Six Flags Magic Mountain last night for a post-wedding bash. Hip Hollywood has the exclusive details and photos of cupcakes. I, on the other hand, am quoting their site and posting an airbrushed pic of Mariah in a bikini from the new Vibe. I WIN! And now on to the party:

Cannon shut down the park, at a cost in the mid-six figure range, so that he and Mariah could party with 100 friends and family. Nick had the park decorated in pink and purple balloons with Carey’s signature butterflies also a fixture. Mariah’s album was playing throughout the park the entire evening, and each guest received a pink or red Superman cape as a gift.
The couple arrived a little after 8PM, greeted friends, then headed straight to the parks’ flying rollercoaster, Tatsu. On the way Nick shot baskets with his buddies as his wife cheered him on. After a wild ride, the couple wanted to go again, but instead headed to the reception to greet guests. At
the reception, they milled about with friends and family, all the while, holding hands and embracing in between conversations.

Okay, going to weddings is boring enough. But how lame must it be to have to watch your newly married friends ride roller coasters? Oh, wow, look at them move around the track and stuff. Whee. Is there a whiskey fountain at this thing? Or, shit, how about heroin? Is there a junkie in the park? Junkie! Looking for a junkie.


  1. Gar

    I strike twice today !
    and i do not like MC

  2. Superman cape? Sounds super gay

  3. mississippi

    Sounds like an anual summer company picnic LOL!

  4. mimi

    Who cares?

    Britney ROCKS!

    Fish SUKS!

  5. Still think she’s fat you fuckers???

  6. I of course was joking. She owns stock in Adobe Systems you know. That said, I’d ram her like a Dodge going 120 mph, downhill on an icy road, with no brakes.

  7. Spazz

    I love these spoiled stories of the super-rich. What a joke.
    Hurry and nail that shit Nick, the 3 month marriage is almost over.

  8. justifiable

    #6 I’m gonna become an airbrusher/photoshopper, that’s guaranteed lifetime employment.

  9. NickiChick

    People Magazine shows Nick carrying her on the beach (strong little fella) and her name is tattooed across his entire back.

    Congrats, Nick. You’ve just doomed this 12 month marriage to less than 8.

  10. Ted from LA

    What a beautiful painting of Mariah!

  11. Gang Banger

    If this is the Six Flags – Magic Mountain in CA, Boy are they caca, only Gang Members and Druggies go there, so they really missed out on some good drugs by shutting them all out.

  12. Doc

    It is amazing what 50,000 dollars worth of cosmetic surgery can do to a person.

  13. Brian


    Yes and airbrushing too!

  14. nipolian

    #11 – Did you not read the title to the post? Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon had the party………I am sure the entire guest list was comprised of gang members and druggies.

  15. Auntie Kryst

    It would have been fun to see all the thugs and gangstas at that party ride the teacups.. @10 nice one!

  16. The White Urkle

    (A one night stand with the sexiest singer alive)…Ha! Shows what they know. Taylor Swift is the sexiest singer alive and as soon as she turns 18 I am going to poke her in every hole of her tiny little body!

  17. fygu

    Mariah’s body does look good now, for the first time since she first came out. I know that this pic is airbrushed but I’ve seen her perform recently in her tiny slutty outfits and she looks great from the neck down.

  18. bootlips

    Mariah made a mistake. She meant to adopt a neeger, not marry one.

  19. snarky

    God how I wish that roller coast had derailed and flown off the tracks…goodbye mariah, you self centered, vapid bitch

  20. Doc

    I find it amusing that in an article Mariah said she was 20 pounds overweight and wore a size 8 and now she is a size 0. When Mariah was overweight; she looked like she was a size 14. She now looks like a size 8. There is no way she is a size 0 because she has hips. Size 0-2 are for females that are underweight and have no hips. It would be nice if celebrities could be honest. But perhaps she gets all her clothes special made and the designers tell her it is a size 0 for her ego or she goes to expensive over priced ego sizing stores.

  21. Sara

    carrying her at the beach? that sounds like some Heidi/Spencer “candids” i almost think the whole thing is a joke

  22. ramalamadingdong

    #18 – LOVE IT!

    maybe if we went back to slavery, gas prices would go down. i’d have one pull me around in a rickshaw. I WANT TO ADOPT ONE!

  23. Carrie Lynn

    This is the most airbrushed picture I’ve ever seen. She is not this thin in real life at all.

  24. The White Urkle

    (Man bites dog, Black guy surfs!) Another joke! I get it. Everyone knows porch monkeys can’t surf. Trust me, I live in San Diego. There are no black surfers. They are up in the parking lot drinking their malt liquer and grabbing themselves. That and waiting for it to get dark so they can rob people or get into that “down low” thing that negro men are into.

  25. alyssa


  26. rachel conrad

    I actually went to high school with Nick. He was a nice guy, down to earth and not a freakin’ gansta. Hollywood must have changed him to marry this self centered spoiled bitch.

  27. #26 – How, like, totally fucking crazy is that? OMG!!! I, like, went to school with your, like, mom, who too is a self centered spoiled bitch. Only, unlike Nick, I got to, like, fuck her.

  28. pathetic

    Elliot shut up! You’re an idiot!

  29. #28 – Wow… not that my feelings are all hurt and shit, I may have to commit seppuku. Or maybe I can die from boredom reading all the funny shit you write… fitting name by the way.

  30. Carmen

    @#18, 22, 24 – (Sigh) And as usual, we can’t have a posting about anyone of the African-American persuasion without trash like you coming on and wearing your room temperature IQ thin in order to come up with racist tripe. You’re neither funny, nor original. You’re simply annoying. Stuff a cock in it or something and leave us be.

  31. On the way Nick shot baskets with his buddies as his wife cheered him on.

    Oh my god, I seriously thought that said “On the way Nick shot baskets with his buddies as his wife cheated on him.”

    Hmmm…..I wonder…..

  32. PunkA

    Wonder who her body double is for the photo shoot. Cuz there ain’t no photoshopper in the universe that is that good to make Mariah’s bod look like that. Impossible.

  33. iHateDemocrates

    hehe, she hasn’t looked that good since the 1980′s…. that photo is fake out the ass.

  34. bosendorfer

    whoever doctored that photo did a fine job. mariah carey’s hips and ass, not to mention WAIST, are at least twice that wide now. she was built to pop out some kids. now that she’s getting up there, she’d best get on with it.

  35. Shthapens


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