Mariah Carey might adopt

April 3rd, 2007 // 43 Comments

Mariah Carey allegedly visited a Mexican orphanage with her lawyer recently and is possibly interested in adopting one of the children. I’m hoping this isn’t true, but there’s no way Mariah Carey would ever be given a baby. If you made a list of people less qualified to be a parent than Jessica Simpson there’d only be one name on it and it’d be Mariah Carey. And maybe a drawing of an angry dinosaur. But even that would be behind Mariah.



  1. Me

    OH GOD!!! Can you picture Mariah Carey holding a Mexican baby? Scary

  2. jpjrocks


  3. She needs to get her ass to Africa or Vietnam to adopt a real orphan.

  4. vanman

    Kudos Mariah. Way to get into the spotlight. I knew you could do it. Somehow. Nothings impossible, not if you can imagineer it.

  5. YouRang

    RUN MEXICAN CHILDREN! RUN! Poverty is a better alternative.

  6. greeneyed_girl

    I cannot understand why this bitch can’t get a man… Maybe it’s the clingy, whiney, psycho thing she has going on.

  7. She should adopt a non psychotic personality, AM I RITE?

  8. Fisher55

    what’s the point of adopting a mexican child when she can have one herself?

  9. wigidy


  10. Lowlands

    Mexico? She doesn’t even have to leave the country to get there.

  11. veggi

    De donde esta el bano?

    shut up you little brat! I’m practicing One Sweet Day!

    Lo Siento mama.

  12. CarnieWilson

    wow a mexican baby, now she is a trendsetter, it just shows she brings her A-game when it comes to exploiting foreign children for publicity.

  13. I think she’s just craving some babyback ribs.

    Seriously, I think she’d eat babies.

  14. The adoption will inevitably fail once they figure out she doesn’t have enough money to cover the years of shock therapy a kid would need after a childhood with Miss Thang.

  15. Anna's Abscess

    It’s a small boy who just happens to know how to cook a wide variety of burritos. Purely a coincidence.

  16. Me

    I see the future, and in it, there is a Mexican production of “Mommy Dearest II – My Years with Mimi”

  17. andrewthezeppo

    that’s just kind of sad. She’s the woman who had to have a person hold her drink for her, while using a straw, how’s she going to raise a kid?

    I second though, a staff of 12 could easily raise a kid…give her a few!

  18. tits_on_snack

    Paying Esmerelda to clean your house is not adoption, Mariah.

  19. I’d just like to watch her breast feed.

  20. woodhorse

    i’m jealous. first she was white, then she got to be black and now she’s going to be a mexican mama? I’m not going to live on Lonely White Planet. From now on I’m AngloAmerican bitches. And I’m a minority too. Now I’m cool and there’s nothing you can do about it.

  21. sdtangler

    What’s with celebrities “collecting” kids these days? I can almost hear Jolie saying, “If we get a Mexican child, we’ll have one from every continent!”. This is just a little creepy.

  22. woodhorse

    #21 we’re the same continent so if you adopt a mexican, you can adopt a canadian and still have a matching pair.

  23. wedgeone

    #8 – In order for that to happen, some Mexican would have to bang her, because “Her parents are Patricia Hickey (Irish-American) and Alfred Roy Carey (African-American/Venezuelan).” (per
    And no Mexican would get that close to her cabeza loco.
    #11 – funny – I can picture that happening. But what would she do when the kid craps himself at her feet?
    #15-16-18: I can’t get the tears out of my eyes from laughing. Damn!

    She needs to go further south, to a Brazilian rain forest. That way the kid will be used to the atmosphere with the 12 humidifiers she has constantly running.

  24. woodhorse

    #23 Very considerate about the humidifiers! You should adopt.

  25. Lowlands

    #10)That’s for sure a troll.I think Mariah Carey is just teasing around…

  26. A dead dog’s frozen turd would be better qualified to be a parent than Mariah Carey.

  27. Lowlands

    If she may succeed in her adoptionprocess before easter the kid will be dressed like a easterbunny soon.

  28. lisad71

    These celebrities are really starting to chafe my ass with the foreign adoption thing. In Mariah’s home state of NY, there are currently 600 children available for adoption. Grant it, most are not babies and many have disabilities, but if they media whores really want to get some publicity, step up and give one of these kids a chance.

  29. anotheruselesscomment

    I think she should adopt a chimpanzee instead….then they can walk around looking like identical twins.

  30. N@ughty

    #11 hahahahahahaha!!!
    why shouldn’t mariah be able to adopt? i mean sure, she screams alot and yea she wears clothes that look like they were originally made for a three year old and of COURSE she has a break-down almost three times a year, but that’s every mom right? i mean…i did it! look at how MY kid turned out!

  31. cm

    Poor kid. I wouldn’t wish having MC as a mother on anybody. That has-been just needs someone to worship her, since nobody else does.

  32. MrSemprini

    I should never have taken that post-hypnotic suggestion off her ten years ago. All I had to do was snap my fingers and she came running. But, I had to get all etical and stuff and look where it gets us. Man…

  33. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    AHAHAHAHAAAA 16 “Nooooo wire hangaaahhss…EVAAAAHH!!!!”

    Oh shit, another self-absorbed celeb adopting for God knows whatever reason. She should try a different ploy for gaining the spotlight again. Like a drastic weight loss. That would be more shocking.

  34. djskins

    Get rid of this Jimmy Kimmel crap.

    Even my mom hates him

  35. mythosmint

    do you think she’s gonna get crazy like michael jackson and open up mariah land?

  36. shittylips

    35 – do ya think she’s GONNA GET CRAZY? WHAT THE?? she’s out there now!! train wrecks like this don’t deserve kids, not even mine…

  37. ginettissima

    God she’s ugly. Really I’m not trying to be cruel, but she actually made me grimace looking at that picture. And her chin looks like a frying pan.

    Yeah and besides all that she shouldn’t be adopting any children, from Mexico or anywhere else.

  38. Me No Know

    LMAO. I imagine her toting the baby around in a Louis Vuitton dog carrier and feeding it doggie treats. Then she’ll get angry with it when it pisses on her 1000ct Egyptian cotton sheets and try to drop it at a pound.

    Desk Clerk: Ma’am,we don’t take babies.
    Mariah: It’s not a baby, it’s a Chihuahua.
    Clerk: Ma’am, that’s not a dog. Please leave or I’m calling CPS.
    Mariah: Chi-hua-hua
    Clerk: Leave.
    Mariah: Roof! Roof!

  39. Truthseeker013

    Re #8- but…she’d lose that *girlish figure* of hers!

  40. rainmen

    you guys are so unfair. she is doing the right ting, her heart is in the right place . Go eat an humble pie you haters!!!!!!!!

  41. Estela

    She should be able to adopt who ever the heck she want’s… I’m sure there are worst parents up in here and that’s why you all have so many examples of what she would do, because you already doing it. Haters! Except #40 all you hater’s this is part of the reason that a bunch of celebrities are the way they are because of you people. Let her adopt a MEXICAN kid if she want’s. If she wanted to adopt a kid from NY she would do too, there is a good reason why she would like to adopt a MX. Anyways Adios my little haters.

  42. Angelena

    Oh, that’s a really nice thing to say!! If you don’t have anything nice to say, SHUTUP!!!! Grow up and get a life!!!! Don’t you have anything better to do than put people down and say mean things??!!!!!

  43. good idea,i like it

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