Nick Cannon is a giant sack of dumb. Apparently, he agreed not to have sex with Mariah Carey until after they were married which is unbelievably retarded. Nothing like going to your honeymoon suite to find out your wife has a penis, and you didn’t sign a pre-nup. Might as well start writing those alimony checks out to “Frank” and save yourself the rush. The Daily Mirror reports:
But Mariah says hanging on for that two months from when they met in February to when they tied the knot in the Bahamas in April was well worth it.
She adds: “It’s not that we had NO intimacy, we just didn’t have complete intimacy. It’s just me, and my feelings.
“I definitely don’t want to push it on anybody else. But we both have similar beliefs, and I just thought that it would be so much more special if we waited until after we were married. And it was, and it still is.”
Kids, listen up, not having sex before marriage is probably the stupidest idea in the history of man. That’s like not eating your last meal before going to the electric chair because you think they serve lobster tails in the afterlife. NEWSFLASH: They don’t. (But I hear there’s a Long John’s.)