Mariah Carey still a ridiculous human being

February 15th, 2007 // 110 Comments
mariah-carey-airplane.jpg

Mariah Carey was reportedly asked to travel in economy class to cut costs on her new film Tennessee, but being Mariah Carey she bought out every single economy seat on the plane and flew alone in the cabin. Common sense says if you’re gonna pay enough money to buy out every seat in economy you might as well upgrade to business class. But this is Mariah Carey we’re talking about, so common sense isn’t really an option. I hear she wipes her ass with live minks and eats her cereal with $100 bills instead of a spoon. It was on CNN or something.

In case you forgot just how insane Mariah Carey really is here’s a little reminder.

superficial

  1. fearsarewishes

    That’s gonna look good on the ol’ expende report.

  2. fearsarewishes

    Whoops…make that “expense”

  3. lattygirl

    blech.
    somebody needs to just make mariah crack-whore go away.

    seriously, who even THINKS about her any more??

  4. BarbadoSlim

    Oh boy, and that forehead goes on forever doesn’t it.

  5. Pointandlaugh

    she’s such a nasty whore. UGH. I wish she’d put us out of our misery, and drink a methadone-Trimspa shake.

  6. Spetsnaz

    She only does it because she gets away with it. Which makes her a 5 year-old boy.

    I wonder then how come she looks more like a 5 year-old cow?

  7. WiseMan

    She looks used & abused.

  8. RichPort

    Every single seat? I’m sorry, she may be a clueless bitch, but that’s fucking classic. In fact, that’s way to swift for her to come up with. She must have a smart publicist.

  9. Every time I see Mariah she looks more like a donkey. A male donkey.

    I think Mariah is Dannylynne’s real father.

  10. You know, if she really wanted to save money she should have just bought her own jet. Or three. That would have shown them.

  11. MyGosh!

    She’s soooooo boring… And her music is shit. It’s a wonder that plane didn’t crash with fat Mariah in it.

  12. mrs.t

    Shit, man that’s nothing. Back in the day, I once bought every single economy seat on a Greyhound. That was on my ’92 coast-to-coast tour. If you count the Ohio River as one of the coasts….

  13. Lizzle

    I’m much less bothered by her plane antics as I am by the fact that she’s filming another movie.

  14. geek_uk

    She’s a right bastard.

  15. BrianMolko

    I’m not a Mariah fan but maybe that was her being smart rather than stupid, it was two fingers up to the producers who asked her to travel economy.

  16. danielle

    How is this news? Who DOESN’T know that Mariah’s an ass?

  17. djcamerin

    #13 – Love it! The movie’s definitely the more disturbing part!

  18. BritishBitch

    God is indeed cruel to take Anna Nicole AND inflict another Mariah Carey film on the world in the space of a week – didn’t he see Glitter?

  19. hotguy

    That fucking swamp queen, she’s so fake. have you seen her cheeks and her pee wee herman impersonation smile? simply horrid. I am so fed up with her banshee hollering (due 2 years of weaning on black cocks) her lard ass propped in slut’s couture, that movie, oh, and the fact that she’s barren. well, i know there’s nothing i can do about her scratched womb but that doesn’t seem to stop her womb from annoying the fuck out of me. God, can someone pleez shoot her.

  20. samozicp

    She’s not even fun to read about anymore.
    She has made me so bored that I am going to my favorite website to read jokes and see funny pictures. You can see it too it is:

    http://www.planetjoker.com

  21. renestel

    I agree with #16. I can’t beleive some people think this is a smart move or is admirable in any way. Maybe more people date four year olds because they think their tactics are cute than I realized. I bet she stomped her foot, threw a temper tantrum and they had to wave animal cookies in front of her face to get off the plane. Moron.

  22. Josh_Lavarn

    Her receding hairline is hot.

  23. misanthrope

    Did the plane have to be decorated according to her standards too? Did she get to make a cool fort made out of sparkley things?

    I agree… who the hell thought it was a good idea to put her in another ‘film’? Nobody likes her, right?!? Right? She’s not going to ‘sing’ is she? No more air-raid sirens.

  24. geek_uk

    I hate her, but loads of people buy her records apparently

  25. cm

    Mariah Carey loves to flaunt herself (money,wearing bikinis onstage-yuck), it seems, and it is annoying. She needs to stop deluding herself, she’s not royalty, just a singer who has an over-inflated ego. Who cares about her and her diva attitude? She needs to grow up and get over herself.

  26. cm

    Mariah Carey loves to flaunt herself (money,wearing bikinis onstage-yuck), it seems, and it is annoying. She needs to stop deluding herself, she’s not royalty, just a singer who has an over-inflated ego. Who cares about her and her diva attitude? She needs to grow up and get over herself.

  27. cm

    Mariah Carey loves to flaunt herself (money,wearing bikinis onstage-yuck), it seems, and it is annoying. She needs to stop deluding herself, she’s not royalty, just a singer who has an over-inflated ego. Who cares about her and her diva attitude? She needs to grow up and get over herself.

  28. Italian Stallion

    The next thing she needs to buyout is Slimfast……….

  29. danielle

    Now…if only she could buy out all of the toilet plungers in the world and jam them onto her enormous, saline induced boobas and suck out all the junk. Very slimming effect.**

    **Assuming she’d wanna take those measures, it would be cheaper than getting the surgery to remove them. **

    But wait, she LIKES to spend money. So may I suggest you have the reduction surgery along with the rest of the surgery it takes to become a full blown male.

    You’ve already had the testosterone injections, why not take it a step further?

  30. dirt chicken

    @ 16 & 29 ; If you want “news”, go to cnn you yammering jackass.

    Maybe you could refer Mariah to the Vet that did YOUR sex-change.

    Now amuse me with your weak insult attempts
    (go fuck a tree/flag pole/ mailbox etc…).

  31. danielle

    And the herpes infested jackass returns….

  32. ImaCracka

    Thin… Chubby….. Firm… Flabby… Nutz…… Sane…

    That is one fine Beeeooootttcccchhhhhh!!!

    If it wasn’t for the restraining order…w e would be together……

    *on a side note…. can signing into this site take just a few more minutes…. then it could take up my WHOLE DAMN DAY!!!!!!!

  33. ImaCracka

    Thin… Chubby….. Firm… Flabby… Nutz…… Sane…

    That is one fine Beeeooootttcccchhhhhh!!!

    If it wasn’t for the restraining order…w e would be together……

    *on a side note…. can signing into this site take just a few more minutes…. then it could take up my WHOLE DAMN DAY!!!!!!!

  34. Jay from the Bay

    What a stupid broad.

  35. ImaCracka

    Thin… Chubby….. Firm… Flabby… Nutz…… Sane…

    That is one fine Beeeooootttcccchhhhhh!!!

    If it wasn’t for the restraining order…w e would be together……

    *on a side note…. can signing into this site take just a few more minutes…. then it could take up my WHOLE DAMN DAY!!!!!!!

  36. Jay from the Bay

    What a stupid broad.

  37. Celetina

    “Celebrity” doesn’t really have the connotations it once did. There are celebrities who we know for being crazy, celebrities we know for being raunchy, celebrities we know for being trainwrecks, celebrities we know for being self-righteous and sanctimonious, etc.

    Mariah Carey seems determined to remind us of everything we first hated about celebrities. Her glimmer of talent has long since been eclipsed by her absurd ego, irrationality and sense of entitlement. Even Paris Hilton seems at least somewhat aware that she’s become kind of a cartoon. Mariah Carey is like the classic Coke of bad socialites. There are Mariah Careys for every nation, every time period, and every genre, but she’s the original flavor you can count on for your daily dose of crazy.

  38. dirt chicken

    @ 31 Thanks for proving my point, you fucking nitwit. ( I fully expect to see you use ‘nitwit’, just like you did ‘jackass’ ). Face it : you are not even remotely creative or humorous – you just continue to regurgitate the same lame bullshit.

    DamYell ; ” Go fuck a _________” (insert the first inanimat object you see ). Yup – really funny stuff, retard.

  39. MrSemprini

    Let’s get her a ticket to Cannibal Island.

  40. Spike the Hellicious Cat

    Fight! Fight! Fight!

  41. jrzmommy

    Fight! Fight! A nigger and a white! Fight! Fight! A nigger and a white!

  42. Niecy

    That is retarded.

    And I’m not talking about Mariah Carey buying all the seats. I’m talking about anyone being dumb enough to put her in another movie.

  43. danielle

    Tell me, dirty chickfuck, mind if I call ya that?….yeah, doesn’t matter.

    Anywhoo, I hope that you’re not suggesting that I used the word ‘jackass’ solely because you used it in your earlier post. I called you a jackass because..that’s what you are, a jackass.

    I mean, if you have a problem with that, I could certainly think of more accurate terminology.

    Here’s a list:

    Worthless snatch sniffer
    Shit-faced needledick
    Banana
    Apple
    Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
    Dirt Chicken….oh wait

    The fact that your simple ass takes time out of your knob slobbing schedule to harass me just about sums up your entire life.

    DamYell is reserved for people who mean something to me like….jrzmommy, richie and…that’s about it.

    Come up with another name. Geesh. And you say I’m the one recycling material? I think not.

    Shouldn’t you be sucking something?
    Get to it!

    41.

    That’s why I love you.
    Ahhh….(gag)

  44. Clete

    Mariah Carey… what can be said that has not already been said. In the plus column she can sing. In the negative column…there is the warped sense of self, lack of fashion sense, lack of common sense, mental instability….
    Gee I wept during Glitter what an original rags to richies story, I for one can not wait for her next movie project… does Madonna ring a bell?

  45. Spike the Hellicious Cat

    @41 are you addressing the inner turmoil within Mariah’s head? she should take her meds, despite any adverse reactions she may have.

  46. Clete

    Mariah Carey… what can be said that has not already been said. In the plus column she can sing. In the negative column…there is the warped sense of self, lack of fashion sense, lack of common sense, mental instability….
    Gee I wept during Glitter what an original rags to richies story, I for one can not wait for her next movie project… does Madonna ring a bell?

  47. Prazzie

    Celetina, that’s deep. On a site where the first poster usually says “first”, your analysis of celebrity really stood out.

    I particularly liked “Her glimmer of talent has long since been eclipsed by her absurd ego, irrationality and sense of entitlement.”

    I suddenly remembered a music video of hers, once upon a time, long ago, where she was being felt up in a field. There might have been hot air balloons, too. It dawned on me then that she actually used to be a singer and stuff. Not just known for being fat-but-always-nearly-naked or fat-but-nearly-always-naked and mentally fragile. Suddenly I was back in 1990, when big hair and ugly neon squiggles on black tights and decorated sneakers with lime green laces and clip-on bows for teased ponytails were just going out of style and an aptly titled debut album – Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey – appeared on the scene.

    And I had to ask myself, what has this fat lunatic ever done to justify the “celebrity” tag? Bitching on Oprah about being of mixed race? Having a good vocal range occasionally?

    I don’t know, but you’ve made me think, Celetina. More than any “first” or “fourth” or “#345th!” could ever have. *nod*

  48. miguelito

    stop trying, danielle

    go read an anne rice novel

  49. Prazzie

    “Tennessee is a film that follows two brothers on a road trip in search of their estranged father.”

    I couldn’t resist IMDB-ing it. I just had to know. The film already has one insane person gushing about how he/she can’t wait for it to come out because it will be so great to hear Mariah’s voice on screen again.

    I love the world we live in. It’s just so easy to mock.

    *hugs the interwebs*

  50. danielle

    48.

    Go LEARN to read.

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