Mariah Carey is hot

January 31st, 2006 // 63 Comments

Here’s Mariah Carey on a tv show in Germany, doing her part to dispel the notion that all Americans are fat and arrogant and loud. I think she’s doing this by using the cellulite in her legs to hypnotize the audience.


  1. hafaball

    Yes, send someone who’s mentally insane and self-absorbed to talk for a whole country…they should send Sean Connery, even if he;s not American, he’s still bad ass.

  2. BrianMolko

    How does she manage to tuck it all away? I saw her about a month ago in jeans ans she looked ok…

  3. ESQ

    She must have been on her period that day as she looks all puffy and fat. She needs to dress more appropriately in order to be considered:

    1. serious
    2. hawt

  4. Sheva

    Her period is apparently daily now. Along with her huge growing torso and thighs, now with cellulite for global audiences.

  5. julema

    She’s really ugly!! Look at her face!!! That woman is so lazy!! She can have the same thin body that she use to have …When youre getting older, you have to move your butt! no choice!! I don’t want to see her in the morning, without the make up and the hair done!!!I think she don’t deserve all the success she got this year… she’s too crazy, selfish…i prefer her as an hasbeen!I don’t understand people who admire her!

  6. Tink

    I can not stand her!!
    I’m glad she got fat and has cellulite!

  7. reesestet

    It appears as though cottage cheese is on the menu today. Bon apetit everyone!!

  8. playahater101

    She’s another one who’s a waste of oxygen and skin cells. She tries way too hard to be sexy.

  9. playahater101

    Doesn’t it look like she’s missing a finger on her left hand? Creepy!!!!

  10. jaybee

    as a german guy who watched that show i have to explain (a) no, i don’t think that all americans are fat, ugly and tacky like mariah carey and (b) in that show a german comedian asked miss carey, why she is looking like a “presswurst”. during the show they couldn’t find an english translation for that, and i guess there is none. so – unfortunately – she didn’t get it. but it’s like “stuffed sausage” in english. and that’s what she looks like. till that show, mariah is still the presswurst to me. i like that!!

  11. SuperSpence

    Who is going to pay to have my eyes repaired? They’re still burning! They’re still burning!

  12. DEVO

    This observer had the misfortune of seeing Miss Carey perform on New Year’s Eve. DEVO loves spuds; the singing, dancing and tackily dressed sack o’ potatoes appealed to my basest instincts. Oh, Bin, sweet bin!

    Every country’s celebrities are de facto diplomats, altering the course of history, geopolitical currents and parliamentary procedure every time their speech causes their uvulas to undulate. This truth is even more self-evident when these individuals hold court on another country’s television system.

    Miss Carey, Miss Hilton, Ms. Spears, Miss Simpson and all the other flotsam and jetsam American popular culture releases into the sea of humanity are U.S. ambassadors. In the name of all that is decent, President Bush should relocate them to The Hague.

    When I was young
    I thought I stood
    On solid ground
    Well, that proved wrong
    Everything I knew was true
    Just blew up in my face

  13. HollyJ

    remember how cabbage patch dolls had those immensely deep dimples down into the face? her thigh dimples remind me of that

  14. asenath7766

    On one hand she gives inspiration to other zaftig women out there, but on the other, she’s just a fat, annoying waste of space. If she could actually come off as a nice person, I would delete the latter.

  15. She used to look hot.

    In that picture, it is apparent the red marks under her thigh are from the couch she is sitting on. She looks like she just changed her seating position. Nonetheless she has gained weight in places where she shouldn’t be wearing that dress.

    As attention whore as she is I think she can look good one more time. She’s starting to get up there is years so Mariah better put some hop into it.

    LOL @ stuffed sausage.

  16. J-Bo

    She makes my penis hurt. And not in a good way. Time to scroll up to the Lisa Loeb thong shot again.

  17. gossipmonger

    Not to defend her in ANY way, honest, but whats with the discoloration? Is it real or a bad photoshop job… (ok, ok, I know she’s a whale now, I’ve seen other pics) but this one just looks so… I dunno.. odd…

  18. Tracy

    I agree with julema… once you’re in your 30′s or beyond, you need to work out every day and forego the twinkies… no exceptions!

  19. I can hear the lace ripping on that dress from here!

  20. MystressJade

    What the hell is she doing in Germany? Is Hasselhoff producing/directing her next video?

    Mariah, want some wine with that cheese?

  21. Kelly

    “You behind the camera, put it down and feed ne that baby.” I remember when she performed at a football game wearing a cheerleader outfit. She looked so ridiculous. Doesn’t she look in the morror and see what a hiddeous beat she’s become? The only difference is her attitude matches her look.

  22. Doc

    eh, I’d still go there… heard something like 90% of women over 25 have some form of cellulite… it happens…

  23. PapaHotNuts

    The back of her legs look like ziploc bags full of cream cheese that were stepped on by 20 men wearing golf shoes. Or something like that.

  24. staticandsilence

    Wow, she is really starting to resemble Vicki Lawrence circa ‘Mama’s Family’!!!

  25. SpiderMomma

    She needs new handlers..err..slaves..I mean servants..uh..oh hell, the chick needs people who won’t sit there and tell her she’s still tight and thin as she was many moons ago. Then I again I really can’t blame them for not wanting to be dunked in to cooking oil for that day’s lunch.

  26. jennifer11


    i just threw up a little in my mouth.

  27. I like how she tried to get the whole world to start calling her “Mimi”, and it never took.

  28. Courtney

    She looks more and more like Mary Carey everytime I see her.

  29. she_hate_me

    someone should tell kermit his girlfriend’s on the loose…

  30. Wow, her legs looks like a rotten sausage… blargh

  31. GirlyGirl

    Yeah, a lot of people do have cellulite, even a lot of hot celebrities. The trick is, if you have it, do your best to cover it up! You would think if she got fat she would start covering up some shit. I mean really. That is kinda gross. If you’re not going to wear clothes, you should at least give people something GOOD to look at. Being a more “zaftig” woman myself, I have a right to say so. God knows I don’t go flashing my cellulite. I don’t even want to look my own cellulite, much less the cellulite of the Mother of all Hoochies!!

  32. beebop

    I’m sure Whitney Houston could help Mariah lose some weight….

  33. Whatup

    Hey Brit and Mariah could hook up and eat some chips together while K-Fed sings to them!

  34. stevie511

    Whore-iah’s been fat for a while now, and it was never more evident than on the red carpet @ the Golden Globes. Her face looks like it’s about to explode… it’s all tight and shiny (botox?)

  35. sammythebull151

    For the love of God DEVO could you stop with the long annoying stab-myself-in-the eye posts!!!!

  36. hermanita

    She’s starting to look like Cojo (from Entertainment Tonight) in the face area. I don’t think she has much makeup on in the pic, but if she does then wow she looks more then bad.

  37. senin

    She is morphing into obesity and can’t dress to save her soul.
    Note to Mariah:
    Drink lots of water (bloated is not considered attractive), part with some of your cash and hire a stylist (you can’t afford NOT to) and put down the twinkies and the Cheetos and go to the gym. Fat spray painted tan is still FAT.

  38. Sweet_cheeks

    if she would have her assistants take out the real size tags and put in a size 2 tags, then maybe she would have an idea how fat she’s getting.

    untill then, she’ll keep getting huge.

    maybe she’s embracing her black heritage and gaining a booty.

  39. Sweet_cheeks

    ^^^ er, that was suppose to say ” if she would STOP having her assistants…. “

  40. Hara

    Crazy me, I always thought people liked Mariah Carey because she has a five octave vocal range and the only animal that can hit a higher note is a dolphin… not because she has a perfect body.

    Whatever, i think she’s insane, dresses skankily, and has an ego problem, but at least give her credit for talent. She writes all her songs and is pushing 40, give her a break. If she’d focus on her skill and not trying to look 20 years younger her career would do better.

  41. Precisely

    Looks like, “We belong together” was dedicated to Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.

  42. DiamondStudded

    Someone should shoot her stylist in the face.

  43. Wow, Mariah you look like your in drag, Oh please cover it up!


    i guess Mariah has forgotton about the coke whore diet

  45. EG

    Sad thing is, after filming wrapped, Mariah ate Tokyo.

  46. SMF121490

    LIPOSUCTION. She has the money. She needs to use it.

  47. diddleysquat

    She likes black guys, and the fatter the ass the better for them, so everybody wins!

  48. starphunk

    that is photoshopped. obviously. it doesn’t even look real. fucking losers.

  49. lysistrata11

    Has no one noticed the stringy greasy hair? Geez woman, take a shower and find a treadmill. Then again you can’t exercise easily when you’re wearing a damn straitjacket.

  50. joancrawford

    Ummmmm sorry but…this picture is not photoshoped..I saw a clip of her on the show and the picture actually looks BETTER than what she looked like on the show!!! UGH..she is so sad…poor thing is going to get overshadowed at the grammy’s by Madonna’s opening number….poor Mariah…she is a sexless, fat, ugly cow. She never has a man in her life!! I heard she has sex with horses,

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