Mariah Carey is at the top of her game

September 13th, 2007 // 101 Comments

Mariah Carey unveiled the new “Jury Duty Postage Stamp” yesterday. The state of New York felt she’d make a great host for the event. Wow. Did they call her mother a whore in the process because why stop at just asking her to unveil stamps? What’s even sadder is she actually accepted the invitation. I guess I can expect to see her cut the ribbon at the new KFC down the block – that is if she fixes herself up a bit. We’re talking fried chicken, people, that’s the big leagues.

Photos: Splash

  1. MrSemprini

    Mmmm… stamps… please, no more, I can’t stand it… ohh its so big…

  2. Queen of Pain

    @50 What a dirty dirty mouth you have naughty sissyboy. Somebody aught to give you a hard spanking!

  3. LadyJane

    Pssssttt…. Mariah, the girl in the front row of the Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet concert I attended in 1987 called… She wants her outfit back.

  4. MrSemprini

    Hey, there’s a ghost in jeans in #9. Call TAPS.

  5. veggi

    HA! Niiiiice one ladyjane!

  6. Watter Bottle

    That cow’s face is about as wide as fuggin’ battleship.

    She looks like a chipmunk with a whole tree’s worth of nuts stuck in her mouth (no double entendre intended).

    She also has big cow eyes.


  7. @52
    You’re so right, I do need to be punished.
    Are you offering to give it to me?
    Naked OTK spanking?

  8. craigj

    Nice rack, but the glitter is for 12 year olds.

  9. HeavenScent

    I will admit I have a soft spot for Mariah….even if she’s off the wall with her butterfly-sexy-trampy-glitteryness she’s entertaining….and the girl can sing! the outfit is kinda Jackie O meets the 2007 dancehall lol xoxo

  10. There is a new post FRIST!!!!!!

  11. Queen of Pain

    @57 Queen of Pain is offering her services free for you TT.

  12. BunnyButt

    Hey, TT, I sent you a My Space friend request.

  13. my comment

    49 – Move to Iran. Thanks!

  14. @61
    When and where. I’m ready for my punishment.

    Accepted BunnyButt

  15. BunnyButt

    @18, I don’t mind an old lady wearing jeans … but WTF is she doing flashing a bit of belly (pic 9) at that age? Ech! Makes me want to skip lunch.

  16. Yikes!

    Yikes! Her big boob job matches her big butt and thighs ha!

  17. jrzmommy

    Damn…..even Kathy Griffin hasn’t done Stamp Openings……..

  18. Tits McGee

    I think the old lady in pic 9 flashing the granny belly is actually the corpse of Leona Helmsley.

    You’re right, I think Kathy Griffin may be up one on Mariah right now.

    And thirdly, I believe that the librarian type in the background is… DROOOL…..yum.

  19. Quinn

    This whole event and it’s attendees cracks me up!! old woman wearing old navy jeans, showing a glimps of her midriff… Bernadette Peters with her feet buldging out of her shoes… and a giant sexy woman dressed as a sausage… YUM

  20. ssdd

    She needs to lay off of the salt.. her face is so fucking fat and swollen…….that last pic~ her legs look like two sausages about to bust through the casing…… also looks like an ass girdle of somekind she’s wearing…

    Bernadette Peters there in pic 9 … LOL this has got to be the first work these two have had in YEEEAARRRRRS….

  21. Queen of Pain

    @64 Come to next years Burning Man and I will make you hurt so good.

  22. Queen of Pain,
    Count me in, is it to early to leave now?

  23. gigilula

    Is that Paulina Porizkova behind Mariah in photo #3?

  24. mariahhater

    Ugly face, too tight ponytail, FAT. Gross. She always looks like a sausage in a casing. Why does she insist on wearing those tight dresses? They just squeeze all her fat down to her thighs.

  25. Queen of Pain

    Yeah…sorry TT. You have an 11 month wait. Don’t worry, it will be worth the wait. I’ll make sure you put on a fashion show for us before the S & M begins.

  26. Oh, I just love a fashion show. Fetish and sissy wear I hope.

  27. Queen of Pain,
    I’d love to exchange email with you.

  28. pins

    She’s a hottie. And a hippo. She’s a hotpo.

  29. Hey Mariah, there’s a drumstick in my pants.

  30. wedgeone

    #48 – that was fucking funny. Great imagination there!! LOL.

    #74 – it’s not that the fat is beign squeezed down to her thighs. the fat was already t here to begin with!!
    Perhaps Demi could recommend a good lipo-artist to her. One that will allow 8 humidifiers to be running during the surgery. Because Mimi likes it stuffy like Venezuela you know!
    The tits are looking seriously wonky in this outfit – like a couple of summer squash … squished into some spandex.

  31. Riotboy

    (o)(o) Oh Yeah!!!

  32. wedgeone

    #81 – more like
    () ()
    * *

    If the site doesn’t wonk all the spaces.

  33. wedgeone

    Yep – he wonked them. Bastage.

  34. RoopSmith

    Honestly, this is what celebrities instead of jury duty in NYS, politicians usually don’t get off that easy. Celebs are given the option to either serve or come back at another time and do a PR thing to tell ordinary folk how important jury duty is…important enough that they’ll do crap like this to get out of it. Mariah most definately got her 40 dollars for serving. That’ll buy a lot of KFC.

    The oldest bag (of the 3) is NY Post gossip reporter Cindy Adams.

  35. Fumus

    I’d definitly stick fuck her.

    Then I’d kill her, or atleast just rip her throat off so she could never sing again…

    Eh, scratch all that…

  36. bossman

    Ok, I’m no fashion expert. But, does the pink sweater with the black dress/pink waist go with the shoes with the RED heels?

  37. Lissa

    Nice Louboutins!

  38. BunnyButt

    86, those red soles are definitely an issue. But, even if Mariah wore shoes with black or pink soles, there are so many other style problems going on here, it wouldn’t matter.

  39. ssdd

    Who is the burn victim in Pic 7&8 ..
    and I thought Hemsley was dead…
    just wonderin’ this shit out loud….. *shakes head*…. doesn’t matter anyways…. lol ..


    I hate her. She’s so full of herself!! DIE BITCH DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

  41. she dressed up like a total idiot! *puke*

  42. Lisa

    The funny thing is… she had insured her legs for like, $2 million & they look like absolute shit — all bruised, beat up & lumpy, kinda like her vajayjay.

  43. Huh. I didn’t even know she was still alive much less still had a career. Well if you call unveiling some stamp a career.

  44. That’s not an outfit its a fucking sausage casing.

  45. FACE

    The Postal Service deserved more class for this. Bernedette Peters still looks good enough to fock with her old ass. I would still fock Carey raw though. IN fact, I would get them on the double team – eat one while the other blew me. Then pop them both in the ass with no lube.

  46. nina

    why fat people wear tine close?

  47. JuryDutyBlowJobs

    Mariah will be giving any and all guys who do jury duty the famous Mariah blow job. Mariah will come to your house dressed just as you see her here. When you see her at your door just drop your pants and Mariah will fall to her knees and pleasure your pecker in your doorway. Do not invite Mariah into your house because she will not accept. This is not a relationship it is a thank you for doing your civic duty. You will not need Kleenex either because Mariah swallows.

  48. asscrack

    I’d hit that crazy old bitch and like it!!

  49. Jenn

    She looks good…and you guys just like ragging on her just ’cause. Give me a break.

  50. xman

    Is this chick a dyke? has anyone ever seen her wit a guy? Or maybe she is a guy

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