Mariah Carey in Barbados

February 3rd, 2006 // 119 Comments

If photographers were donuts, Mariah Carey would be the happiest woman alive. Here are even more photos of her, this time wearing the unhappiest bikini in Barbados. I don’t know what she’s doing on the boat, unless she’s there to scare off pirates. She may be setting course for Cheeseburger Island.


  1. #38 Crazydingbat or whatever the F YOUR name is, go stick your head in the oven. The sound of your hair melting would be more pleasant than Mariah’s singing.

    I don’t give a crap who she’s outsold. William Hung sold some CDs as well… as you can clearly see, it doesn’t mean a thing. It only means that the majority of the people have no taste and are most likely deaf.

  2. Mary45

    “Dress her age”…??? What’s that supposed to mean? There are plenty of women older than Miriah wearing bikinis and looking really good. It should be “dress her SIZE”!

  3. Darby

    Well if we were judging her I would’ve said something different. I am not a fan of hers and I think prancing around like she is a sex goddess instead of taking the high ‘classy’ road I would’ve said someting different. I just think the weight thing is silly. I mean she dresses like a cheap street walker all the time so her self esteem must be in the toilet. And no I am not morbidly obese! lol

  4. Lipgloss Assassin

    I had no idea that the Chili Cheese Dog diet actually did work.

    good form Mariah. But I still don’t trust anyone who Crayola’s her own abs.

  5. aimeethepoet

    I think she’s probably a size 8-10 judging by the pics. That’s not that big. She needs to lose about 15 pounds to be at her best, though. Someone said it before: 1-2 months working out and she’s fine.

  6. ZaZ

    Personally, I like to be able to squeeze a girl. Granted, Miss Carey may be treading in waters a bit squishier than in the past, but I’d much rather have a soft butt to pound on, as opposed to a coccyx and some skin.

  7. normella

    Yeah yeah, I know I’m late on this, but to jackuup: (#34) while you are correct about latinos not being a race, Mariah’s father isn’t (wasn’t, whatever) a black Puerto Rican. He’s a black Venezuelan. She’d always pretend she was half African-American, though, and that always pissed me off. Bleh. K, ’tis all.

  8. normella

    Mariah isn’t fat, people. She just has the body of a thin linebacker.

  9. PapaHotNuts

    For those of you arguing whether she is half black, half white, half whatever- I found out exactly what she is. She is a quarter-orca, a quarter-elephant, a quarter-bowl of macaroni and cheese, and a quarter-malt liquor. Combine these, and she 100% pure slob.

  10. Debutantejaim

    #10 That was hilarious!

  11. Lord_Jesus

    I would still bend her over the side of the boat and smash her goods for a few hours.. immediately after my nut I would throw her overboard and guide the boat to the head.

    I knew her ass was always out of shape, real players know their prey.

  12. sammygirl

    I do see the slight resemblence to Shamu.

  13. bone_daddio

    hitting that would be like tossing a sausage into the hallway…even Tommy Lee could move in and not worry about feeling cramped. course, you would still feel a bit dirty and end up having to get a round of innoculations afterward…but imagine being able to tell your friends u rolled into Mariah… idea…just imagine Mariah, Kate Cruise and Ms. Spears naked and all oiled up in your bed…….oh no…i’ve gone blind…help please….

  14. Whatup

    I’d still slap one to her!

  15. eyespy27

    the only thing she would do with nicole richie is pick her teeth.

  16. ohyeah

    #52 – I’m all for the “older” woman being sexy and all, but there is a point in life when you have to admit that you’re not 20 anymore. I’ve seen women in their 40′s wear bikinis, and granted they had nice bodies, they should have still left them for their teenage daughters. There are plenty of magazines that do articles about dressing an appropriate way for your age; maybe you should read one. The only people who think these women should wear what they do are other middle aged women. Would you want to see you Grandma looking sexy? I think not. She really shouldn’t be wearing a bikini, no matter what her age.

  17. soapbox

    Carey is 36…that’s not so old.

  18. CoJo

    Of course, 36 is not old in HUMAN years, what’s her age in DOG years?

  19. ribbit25

    That is a bad boob job – and bad lipo contouring on the hiney!

  20. DannyJames

    she doesnt look bad at all, ses got some meat on her bones and looks good. you guys are retards.

  21. Juliette

    I don’t think she looks that bad either…
    Ok, so she isn’t the perfect size 6 but she isn’t by any means grossly overweight. If she tanned her skin, I bet far few people would be commenting. She is just so pale right now.

    I do agree her choice of swimwear is a bit skant for her shape however.

  22. sqongo

    She’s a big girl,be like throwing a toothpick down a manhole!!

  23. Hyman Roth

    I would love to see what the women look like who post on this site. People like you are the reason that girls like Ritchie and Lohan look like they do. Mariah is going on 36 years old, and she still looks good. Most men would agree. Yes she looked better when she was 25, what a shocker.

  24. susie-q

    She doesn’t look that bad from behind.

  25. WORD CheekyChops!! That Cribs episode was unreal. Every time she went to a new room she was wearing a new “ensemble” – she probably thought she sounded smart using such a big word. The best parts were her stripping to get in the tub and “excersizing” in high heels while giggling and saying “I dont think I’ve ever used any of this stuff”…yeah it shows! She does need to accept her bigger frame and dress her age and shape. She could look really great if she had any sense of style or was conciounce of her actual body. Her face is gorgeous, too bad shes dumb & crazy.

  26. Swingline

    setting course for Cheeseburger Island is the funniest thing I have ever heard.

  27. ir0ny!

    How lucky the rest of us are – when we get fat, nobody is there there to take a picture of us & make fun of us with an international audience.

    Really, she got a little chubby, but her legs don’t look that bad. Now she just looks normal.

  28. Xarah

    I don’t think she looks that bad. She should’ve picked a different bathing suit. She’s still skinnier than Janet Jackson.

  29. Jewbacca

    Say what you want, I bet she’s got some good cooter.

  30. Kelly

    Insult to injury. . . .JLo would look so much hotter than her.

  31. April

    She’s looks to be average weight to me. Yeah, the bikini is not flattering at all….she should of gone with a one piece or a tankini, but coming from the niece of four nurses and a dietician, she’s definitely not overweight.

  32. hermanita

    How does she do it? She looks fat in the stomach yet her ass is so flat and her breast are way apart. That’s the worst combination ever. -_- If I looked like that I wouldn’t show it off.

    In the beginning I tought she was wearing like a salami or shrimp bathing suit. Doesn’t make it more yummy looking tough.

  33. Paper Doll

    she’s one nasty biotch.
    the bikini’s too small.
    and her tums a beast.
    i may not look much better in a bikini, but at least i know to stay awayyy from the beaches.

  34. mapleleafmama

    Thanks Superficial, this picture made my day! Why, you ask? Because I now realize that I don’t actually look like an out of shape woman who gave birth to her second child 5 months ago – I look like Mariah Carey! Screw the diet – I’m just going to squeeze myself into the smallest bikini I can find and whenever anyone looks at me in horror, I can say “What? Don’t you know – my body is just as good as Mariah Carey’s!”

    Seriously, I look this bad, but in my defense, I’m still getting back into shape after having my second child. I can only guess that Mariah has decided she should look as bad as her singing sounds.

    And to all those who say stop being negative – remember, it’s celebutards like this one who run around vying for attention from the public. If she doesn’t want the attention, tell her to shut the hell up and go away. It’s the price you pay for celebrity.

    Okay, I’m off to do 4 million crunches and a few thousand miles on the treadmill…care to join me, Mariah?

  35. amma

    …Well, she’s been through a lot. Its nice to see her happy regardless of what she looks like. It takes confidence to wear a bikini if your not a size 0 and a celeb…THAT being said…she really does look out of shape. Remember, she has breast implants. Without them, she would really look like a jello-pear.

  36. taniableu

    I love it when celebrities are fatter than me.

  37. Tania

    I just think we’re all used to seeing the likes of Nicole Richie. Seems like these days if you’re not bones with skin draped over them you’re considered a whale.

    And before I ask this question, No, I’m not fat and bitter: Am I right that MOST men would prefer their woman have a little excess as opposed to being a skeleton like Nicole?

  38. eastboundanddown

    oh these little chubby girls like mariah are the best in the sack. they wrap their legs around you and squeeze and roll around and work it. and chubby girls love to get it on because they know they don’t get it as often as their skinny friends. i’ll guarantee you mariah would be a lot more fun than one of these skinny girls with the body of a 14-year old boy. go girl!!

  39. eastboundanddown

    oh these little chubby girls like mariah are the best in the sack. they wrap their legs around you and squeeze and roll around and work it. and chubby girls love to get it on because they know they don’t get it as often as their skinny friends. i’ll guarantee you mariah would be a lot more fun than one of these skinny girls with the body of a 14-year old boy. go girl!!

  40. escapevelocity

    i like her legs, though. note, not including the thighs. she’s always had nice legs anyway.

  41. Grope For Luna

    So poor, so black…

  42. E. Jones

    i really dont like mariah but damnit just give her a break people

    this is what normal women look like…
    :O :O

  43. Amorena

    If this story is true, they really ought to lock up that woman for a while. Celebrity stalkers just see a “go” sign if one of their bonkers bunch is let off easy.

    Angelina is creepy, but she doesn’t deserve this shit.

  44. Amorena

    Wrong news item *WOOPS*! That’s what I get for being up this early on a Saturday morning. LOL!
    I’m gonna copy it over to where I meant to post it, the “Angelina almost gets bitchslapped” story….

    Although, they probably ought to lock Mariah Carey up too. Just to teach celebrities not to be so f*cking obnoxiously self-sopped and whiney.

  45. slinkhard

    I loathe Mariah Carey, but she really doesn’t look that bad here. She looked much worse in that pictured posted here last week.

  46. bananya

    dude u guys, give her a rest, I bet all the guys still think she has a hot body.

  47. Seamus Begonia Smell

    “unhappiest bikini in barbados!” lol. still heart editor.

    looks like she’s had a lot of lipo, leaving her extra weight out of proportion, to boot.

  48. urheartshapedbox

    she honestly doesn’t look that bad. i mean she could do with some toning and stuff but shes not obese or anything the way you guys are reacting. i think the real issue with this is that shes a celebrity. shes paid to be beautiful. but she really has let herself go

  49. blackblackheart

    Jesus.. There’s nothing wrong with her body. She’s not Janet Jackson or Nicole Richie so just leave her alone.

  50. Skippy

    Agreed – Mariah’s curves are certainly MUCH more attractive than Nicole Ritchie’s beanpole look. At least this lass has some meat on her bones.

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