Mariah Carey’s biological clock may be ticking (She’s almost 40. Eww!), but she’s in no rush to procreate. Despite having all the ample body parts to do so. Wait, almost 40. Bad penis! NY Daily News reports:
“I don’t think I could properly educate a child right now. Maybe in the future, but I actually haven’t thought about it.”
Carey said having children would leave her feeling “violated… I know that’s a kind of weird thing to say, but that’s how I am. You gotta take care of yourself,” she said. “You have to try and stay pretty, you know.”
You have to try and stay pretty. Amen, sister! You are preaching to the choir. Beautiful people like us don’t need no kids getting up in our business making us look all ugly and shit. Nuh uh. Everyone thinks looks grow on a tree and you can just, I dunno, have a kid then go out back and pick some more good looks. It doesn’t work like that. And not because I cut down this magical tree and kept it alive in my basement. That has nothing to do with it whatsoever. Now, excuse me, I’m running low on Miracle-Gro. *looks in mirror* Mmm, gorgeousy.
Thanks to Gabriella who was grown in a sexy orchard – tended by supermodel elves. True story.