Mariah Carey’s biological clock may be ticking (She’s almost 40. Eww!), but she’s in no rush to procreate. Despite having all the ample body parts to do so. Wait, almost 40. Bad penis! NY Daily News reports:
“I don’t think I could properly educate a child right now. Maybe in the future, but I actually haven’t thought about it.”
Carey said having children would leave her feeling “violated… I know that’s a kind of weird thing to say, but that’s how I am. You gotta take care of yourself,” she said. “You have to try and stay pretty, you know.”
You have to try and stay pretty. Amen, sister! You are preaching to the choir. Beautiful people like us don’t need no kids getting up in our business making us look all ugly and shit. Nuh uh. Everyone thinks looks grow on a tree and you can just, I dunno, have a kid then go out back and pick some more good looks. It doesn’t work like that. And not because I cut down this magical tree and kept it alive in my basement. That has nothing to do with it whatsoever. Now, excuse me, I’m running low on Miracle-Gro. *looks in mirror* Mmm, gorgeousy.
Thanks to Gabriella who was grown in a sexy orchard – tended by supermodel elves. True story.
airreca | April 23, 2008 at 11:19 am
uh. wow.
Fudgie | April 23, 2008 at 11:19 am
What a cunt.
surrounded by idiots | April 23, 2008 at 11:21 am
“I don’t think I could properly educate a child right now.”
truer words have never been spoken
“Maybe in the future”
I doubt it. you’ll still be stupid in the future
“but I actually haven’t thought about it.”
cause thinking makes my head hurt…
tickled | April 23, 2008 at 11:22 am
She couldn’t properly educate a peanut butter sammich.
ph7 | April 23, 2008 at 11:23 am
Finally, a woman with common sense.
It should be a crime to wreck a nice body with a child.
Remember that, young wives – having a child is the most selfish thing you can do in your marriage – destroy the temple you present to your husband by squeezing a bowling ball through the tunnel of love.
noneyobeezwax | April 23, 2008 at 11:24 am
i think the rest of the world should feel violated when celebutards shit out these future assbags
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | April 23, 2008 at 11:26 am
I’d love to “feel” anmd “violate” her.
whatever | April 23, 2008 at 11:26 am
The Superficial poster child
PunkA | April 23, 2008 at 11:29 am
All I know is that Mariah does a crap job of taking care of herself before a child. After, I expect her fat, lazy ass to balloon up to the size of a Biggest Loser contestant. Plus, she ain;t pretty either way. I am just glad that he selfish is sparing the world from her passing on her stupid ass thought process to a helpless kid and perpetuating her kid of entitled lifestyle. She sucks. If she died, no one would really care because she is and will always be about herself.
pat | April 23, 2008 at 11:29 am
It’s not “a weird thing to say”. It’s a very vain and narcissistic thing to say. Mariah Carey stays true to herself.
Anonymous | April 23, 2008 at 11:30 am
Why the FUCK is the asshole dating site spammer still polluting the fucking place??
nipolian | April 23, 2008 at 11:30 am
The real reason she hasn’t reproduced yet is because she keeps confusing her ovaries with her tonsils.
chick with no kids | April 23, 2008 at 11:30 am
Oh #6. You really botched up any relevance your opinion might have had with the “finally a woman with common sense”
Jade | April 23, 2008 at 11:31 am
Given her words, I’m glad she’s chosen not to procreate. Irresponsible parents really aren’t good things. And besides, if she had a child and it wasn’t a girl she’d give it a sex change, then give it implants by age 5 and teach her to only wear a tank top and stick her chest out at every possible moment, because the child will have to take care of herself and ensure she is always pretty. In fact, Mariah would probably have an operation at an early age to remove the child’s uterus, because if she bread she might not be pretty.
Auntie Kryst | April 23, 2008 at 11:32 am
Actually this stupid twat’s honest admission of complete self absorption is sort of refreshing. Whatever happened to Paris Hilton’s crusade to save Rwanda??
mixedmartialartvideos.com | April 23, 2008 at 11:36 am
what a diva.. she should have a couple kids, get a little chunky, then come back in 10 yrs and do playboy after getting fit again
PunkA | April 23, 2008 at 11:37 am
Any guy who comes within 3 feet of her twat ought to be executed anyway. Seriously, why would any man want his baby batter in her? Rosemary’s Baby for sure. This bitch would birth the anti-Christ and Armageddon would begin. Kill her now.
Jumpin_J | April 23, 2008 at 11:38 am
She must have seen those photos of Brittney. Eeeeew, gross!!!
Trover | April 23, 2008 at 11:40 am
I think every hot MILF in the world probably wants to blow her brains out about now. She actually said that having a baby would make her not pretty. WOW. Seriously, I know women with 6 kids that are hotter than she will ever be on her best day, which happened about 15 years ago. She is clueless and vapid and a serious waste of human flesh. Feed her fat ass to the dawgs.
Spazz | April 23, 2008 at 11:40 am
Wow. Self absorbed is right.
Great quote typifying the superficial hollyweird attitude.
Nicolyn | April 23, 2008 at 11:42 am
#5 – What about the wives who’s husbands want them to have babies? The whole purpose of sex is for pro-creation purposes. If no one had babies anymore b/c it’s a “Selfish” thing to do, then the world would be over. There would be no more future generations. My opinion is that people who don’t have children b/c they don’t want to get fat are “selfish” for not wanting the world to keep on evolving.
Mo | April 23, 2008 at 11:42 am
Some people just don’t want kids. Geez.
Arty Fish | April 23, 2008 at 11:49 am
Damn! Mariah Carey is a pathetic, overrated waste of skin. @9 you said it. People all over the world cow-tow to her ridiculous demands…why? She *had* a good voice that she maintains by constantly steaming her apartment and having her entourage do god knows what else. Someone, please cryogenicallly freeze this biznatch and rid the world of her until we can find a cure for egomania.
Diff'rnt strokes | April 23, 2008 at 11:54 am
Mo@22-did you read the headline???…it’s not that she “just doesn’t want kids”.
fygu | April 23, 2008 at 11:55 am
YAY #9 I always feel like I’m the only one who does not think Mariah is pretty. Her ego is onpar with Madonna’s, but she’s not as smart. I hate the sight and sound of this woman. I’m am rejoicing that she will never have children because she doesn’t deserve to be a mother with her disgusting narcissism. GET OVER YOURSELF YOU UGLY OVERRATED BITCH
fygu | April 23, 2008 at 11:55 am
YAY #9 I always feel like I’m the only one who does not think Mariah is pretty. Her ego is onpar with Madonna’s, but she’s not as smart. I hate the sight and sound of this woman. I’m am rejoicing that she will never have children because she doesn’t deserve to be a mother with her disgusting narcissism. GET OVER YOURSELF YOU UGLY OVERRATED BITCH
MeanOldMan | April 23, 2008 at 11:57 am
Back in my day a woman would pop out a few kids, do the dishes and still have the time and energy to make you a sammich!
Ruby | April 23, 2008 at 11:57 am
I’m totally with her on the whole feeling violated-thing. Just think about it: for nine months you are carrying another live thing inside your own body which will only come out when it feels like it. And then there is the whole squeezing-an-entire-baby-out-of-your-snatch-ordeal.
What I don’t get however is how she thinks that she would stay pretty if she didn’t have a baby. Honey, you were cute in the ’90s, but that’s about it. Also, if she isn’t able to properly educate a kid at her age, that pretty much means you are too retarded to have children. So bless her for knowing herself enough, unlike another vapid std-infested whore who wants to unleash her monsters on us.
*Gorgeousy* | April 23, 2008 at 11:58 am
i will now and forever say *mmm…gorgeousy* everytime i look in the mirror. hilarious.
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | April 23, 2008 at 12:01 pm
#21 – I guess your husband only gets sex on his birthday and on your anniversary… well sex that YOU know about…
i HATE FAT BITCHES | April 23, 2008 at 12:11 pm
#21
the world existed before humans and it will keep on keeping on after we’re gone. i consulted mother earth on her view and she said she can’t wait for the tumor (known as the human race) is removed from her back side.
Scopes Monkey | April 23, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Hey #21 thanks for that revelatory comment. No sex means no children? Being pro-creative means procreating. That’s heavy man. People start fucking b/c Nicolyn is right.
English Bob | April 23, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Leave her alone, i think she’s hot! I’d love to take her out for a fine meal, stare into her eye’s while she talks about herself, whisk her home in a stretched limo full of flowers, carry her upto her bedroom then make sweet Mariah pleasing love to her all night. Then as she slowly drifts into a beautifull sleep in my arms….I’d rob her. NICE !!!
wow_i_cant_belive_it's_butter | April 23, 2008 at 12:12 pm
wow mariah!!! i actually looked up to you! i cant belive your so fucking simple minded. honestly she’s not even pretty. she’s just an old bitch who wears make-up to hide her wrinkles! feed her FAT ASS to the lions.
Uncle Eccoli | April 23, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Ah, the eponymous post. Lovely.
#21 – Do shut up. I find women aghast at another woman’s decision (for whatever reason) not to procreate sad at best and fucking outright pathetic at worst. You bitches piss and moan about being objectified as mere domestic tools and then turn around and demand to be respected as the very crux and cradle of life itself. You want to cherish your natural gender roles AND condemn them as conspired oppression. Self-hatred is weak-mindedness. Selfishness is attempting to impose your own half-baked ideas about self worth on the entire species of woman.
Anal Fistula | April 23, 2008 at 12:18 pm
technically, wouldn’t she have to be violated before having the child?
Chupacabra | April 23, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Mariah probably has an ugly mother.
Seriously, I was walking in downtown Boston yesterday at lunch, and I saw two ugly-assed, fat white-trash ghetto wigger mammas pushing baby strollers who both literally stopped in the middle of the street around Post Office Square, in the MIDDLE of the intersection, because one wasd loudly yapping on her cell phone (to the baby-daddy no less) about something so horrendously incorrect to repeat, that I almost hoped they had been killed by an oncomming cab. True Story.
At least Mariah knows NOT to have a kid because she’s dumb. Finally, a “model” idiot.
kisses! xoxox
the pope | April 23, 2008 at 12:19 pm
To all of thee who arst hate-ifiying the illustrious #5, i hereby do remind you that in fact sex is for *and only for* procreation.
Without good catholic girls like #5, where would we be?
Randal | April 23, 2008 at 12:20 pm
If she were knocked up, it would excuse her fat rolls and disgusting udder-boobs. I can’t believe a Russian ship hasn’t pulled up and harpooned this whale.
She is so fucking ridiculously fat, no wonder America is going to hell. Women over 85 pounds should be shot with tazers and taken to Bavarian nations where lard is appreciated. Women with boobs bigger than a C cup should have them removed. If they’re over 85 pounds afterwards, ship them with the lardies.
cholo | April 23, 2008 at 12:24 pm
@36 – I thought of that too late.
Yes, first Mariah would have to let someone violate her, and she’s too busy fucking herself for that.
coffeebean | April 23, 2008 at 12:24 pm
#15 Rwanda is not the place that Paris said she wanted to save, it’s the name that Mariah has picked out for when she does have a child.
wow_i_cant_belive_it's_butter | April 23, 2008 at 12:25 pm
woooooooooow #36 your a fucking genuis. anywayz mariah carey dumbass is going through age crisis. i hope that bitch get stabbed in the vagina. and uhhhhhhhhhh #37 there’s nothing wrong with living or being ghetto. people need to shut the fuck up.
Jimbo | April 23, 2008 at 12:29 pm
For a second there I thought I had something in common with Mariah – I thought the headline said “I feel like violating a kid”.
They White Urkle | April 23, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I would love to violate her in her anus. Then violate her in her mouth. I think it is called: “Ass to Mouth”?
FRIST!!! | April 23, 2008 at 12:31 pm
STAY pretty???? When the crap was she EVER pretty??
Nicolyn | April 23, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Elliott – I don’t have a husband but my fiance has nothing to complain about. He’s well taken care of in that department as well as every other. But I truly appreciate your concern, as does he I’m sure.
And for all you others out there who are hating on what I had to say, take note: THAT WAS MY OPINION. It clearly states that in what I posted. There was nothing rude towards anyone and I was hoping that everyone could be mature enough to have a conversation about this rather then get all up in arms about one person’s opinion.
@#35 – You don’t know me from the person sitting next to you on the bus in the morning, so dont’ sit there and tell me what I do and don’t believe. And I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t lump me into a category with every other woman out there. I’m not every other woman nor do I claim that I’m something special. I simply had an opinion (just like everyone else here) and stated it. I was not tearing into Elliot or being a bitch regarding what I had to say. I was simply starting a conversation that apparently no one else can keep going in an adult manor. How old are you people? 12? Jesus, grow the fuck up!
martino | April 23, 2008 at 12:33 pm
21 – It will do the world some good for people to slow down with the procreation. The world’s population is growing exponentially which will cause major problems in the near future.
Anyway, why is Mariah “selfish” for admitting that she’s not capable of raising and educating a child? Too bad Britney wasn’t that selfish.
Mo | April 23, 2008 at 12:34 pm
@24… okay, so she’d ‘feel violated’ because she doesn’t want a kid ruining her body?
I was slender and looked NICE until I had a baby. Then, through no fault of my own, I got gestational diabetes, gained 80 pounds while I was pregnant and nearly DIED. You can’t control that shit.
Would I say I feel violated? No. But I can understand other people SERIOUSLY not wanting to go through that. I don’t take offense to it.
Amber Richardson | April 23, 2008 at 12:37 pm
#42 much love for ya.
Living below the poverty line is da bomb yo! It’s mad chill spending limited financial resources on clothes and cars (wot wot) instead of establishing longterm economic security for you and your family. Declining infant mortality rates is off da hizzle dog. Shiiit broken familiy units, drug and alcohol abuse, crime dat shit is for realz. Zero chance of upward mobility be for me, ya hear?!.
Nicolyn | April 23, 2008 at 12:41 pm
#47 I don’t disagree with you at all in that department. I think everyone is getting confused as to why I said what I said. I was referring to the person who said that the most selfish thing you can do in your marriage is have a baby. I was playing devil’s advocate and stating that if everyone just stopped having children b/c it made them fat and ugly that it would be pretty selfish of us not to procreate b/c there would be no more future generations. I wasn’t saying that Mariah is selfish or that anyone else is selfish for making a decision to not have children. I was simply stating that if everyone felt that way it would be selfish of our human race, as a whole, to give up the world as we know it.