Mariah Carey getting hitched

December 2nd, 2005 // 14 Comments

I like picklesMariah Carey’s friends are saying that she will walk down the aisle in June 2006 with music executive Mark Sudack – yeah that’s right, the Mark Sudack. He was a staffer at Mariah’s record label before being hired as her “house photographer”. He rapidly rose through the ranks of Mariah’s company and was listed as co-executive producer on her album The Emancipation Of Mimi

Her friend said: “Mariah has tried to keep her relationship with Mark under the radar. She guarded the romance fiercely but she’s tired of hiding him. She considers Mark her lucky charm


  1. Would you believe Mariah is just to trashy even for me? I’ve always believed she was the first genetically engineered chiuahu.

  2. HollyJ

    I love when Mariah hits those razor-sharp high-frequency notes. I have a great fondness for the Ozark big-eared bat.

  3. Katie

    I wish people would stop buying her albums…I wanna see her go crazy again

  4. One of these days, while riding around in her diamond butterfly encrusted limo with her scummy rapper “friends”, she’s going to get shot at. And when that happens, she’s going to *really* go crazy….like Howard Hughes crazy…instead of batty millionaire diva crazy….and when that day comes, Mariah will rise from her cavernous closet, swaddle herself in the finest Versace, cram her feet into some Jimmy Choos and summon her lambs to her. And lo, the lambs will attack and fight in her honor. And plagues will be visited upon us all.

  5. doodlewad

    wait, people still care about mariah carey?

  6. SideBar

    wow when did it become legal to marry yourself?? I mean surly thast whats happening here right? RIGHT?? I mean someone as self absorbed as MC (MIMI) cant possibly be trying REALATIONSHIPS again…or can she…it..whatever.

  7. hafaball

    “She guarded the romance fiercely but she’s tired of hiding him.”

    Man, I know she’s crazy and all, but she didn’t have to lock him in a dungeon or anything. If she hasn’t noticed, people really don’t care about her anymore, since she’s not an anorexic, blonde slut that has sex with animals. If she was, the paparazzi would be all over her, but alas, her only problem is mental disorders…BORING.

  8. apotheosis

    “And lo, the lambs will attack and fight in her honor. And plagues will be visited upon us all.”

    Mariah Carey visiting plagues on us would be like the Chernobyl reactor growing arms and slapping babies around. After a while, it’s just overkill.

  9. sadietolstoy

    She looks like a blow up doll. I hate her fake boobs.

  10. braindeadmonkey

    Someone needs to tell this girl to ease off the cheese balls and to put some clothes back on…or better yet, hire a good personal trainer. Surely with all her money she can afford a stairmaster? Being air-brushed to within an inch of her life is not going to fool the public, unless she thinks we’re all idiots. She stopped being the cute sex-kitten she still thinks she is about 30lbs ago.

  11. vanya_k

    Fat? No… the anorexic look is dull and she at least has curves. So does Beyonce, and that’s refreshing.

    Self-absored and over-rated? Hell yes. Didn’t she use up her fifteen minutes long ago?

  12. First of all… nooooo! Mariah is supposed to marry ME!

    Second of all… I can’t even believe these comments. Mariah is extraordinarily talented, her tits are REAL and they are beautiful as well. She is NOT fat, she is NOT crazy, nor is she self-absorbed or overrated. I’d have sex with her in a heartbeat if I had the chance, and I’ll bet all of you would too… so shutup.

  13. MortyFishbein

    I don’t usually post on comment this old but I was away.

    Okay, the poster above is obviously either Tommy Mattola or Chris Tucker. At which point I’d say: “Tommy, you lost your chance;” To Chris I’d say: “You still have a chance.”

  14. yogui

    You’ve got me feeling emotions
    Deeper than I’ve ever dreamed of
    You’ve got me feeling emotions
    Higher than the heavens above

    I feel good
    I feel nice
    I’ve never felt so
    I’m in love
    I’m alive
    Flying high
    It feel like a dream
    When you touch me tenderly
    I don’t know if it’s real
    But I like the way I feel


    In the morning
    When I rise
    You are the first thing
    On my mind
    And in the middle
    Of the night
    I feel your heartbeat
    next to mine
    It feels like a dream
    When you love me tenderly
    I don’t know if you’re for real
    But I like the way I feel


    You know the way to make me
    lose control
    When you’re looking into my eyes
    You make me feel so


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