Mariah Carey and her dog leave Hotel Gansevoort

June 1st, 2006 // 247 Comments
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superficial

  1. hurley

    76 -> 89
    still waiting for the representative fat-person’s perspective…

  2. Dr.Rokter

    #89 Most fat people haven’t been able to see their own perspective in years.

  3. RichPort

    I would say she’s an attention whore, but I would have to agree with one of the earlier comments, she probably hasn’t been laid in years. I don’t think she would even know what a cock was if it slapped her in the face, shoved itself down her throat, and gave her the ol’ Mikimoto necklace… I’d be happy to try to remind her, as soon as I put down my copy of Fat Celebrity Wanna Sluts…

  4. ptprez

    73

    did they keep trying to roll your friend back in the ocean??

  5. IFuckingHateYou

    #89, sounds like the skinny-person perspective is about right. I like to eat shit that’s not good for me, don’t exercise and like my beer.
    That’s probably why I’m 5’3″ tall and weigh 423 pounds.
    Wait, I was channeling Britney there for a minute, that’s not me at all.

  6. hurley

    102.
    Dr. Rokter,
    well is anyone able to see it?
    (if it’s unseen, how do we know it exists?)

  7. ptprez

    91

    because they run out of breath from typing so much!!!

  8. purplepuppy

    I’m not the biggest Mariah fan, but she is looking good these days, at least her outfit covers everything (even if it is skin tight). And man, that sure is a cute pup! Anyone who likes Jack Russell Terriers is aces in my book!

  9. Anna

    Has anyone else noticed that it looks like she is almost always wearing the same outfit, but in a different color? I guess its because it is the only outfit that (semi) fits her so she just dyes it a different color everyday.. huh.

  10. 104

    They tried for a while, but she was tenaciously clinging to the Hot Dog on a Stick stand, so they just rolled her over to the workout area, and used her as a trampoline.

  11. gogoboots

    Wow, she looks really dumb in these pictures…she can barely walk, not because of the shoes, but she’s sucking in her gut so hard…ahhh those powerful lungs of her not only work so well for singing but for the sucking in of gut!

  12. Spumar

    Ok, I’m sorry guys, Mariah is hot. Anyone see the video with Snoop and Pharrell? Very MILF-ish indeed.

  13. eightiesbaby

    # 7

    You are so right, I loved her back then, when she wore clothes and had brain cells. Now she’s just a dumb, poorly dressed tramp.

    Is it just me or on some level doesn’t this seem worse than how Britney dresses b/c she’s trying so hard?

  14. Fisher55

    i heard Mariah’s on a seafood diet

    when she sees food, she eats it *POW*

    (yes, I went there)

  15. TaiTai

    She just looks like a lame banana.

  16. libertarienne

    115–noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (but cute one!)

    Dear Ms. Carey,

    Choke on a ham sandwich already.

    Thanks,
    ‘Fish Readers

  17. Dr.Rokter

    #106 Hmmm?

    The thing I’ll never forgive Mariah for is once, during the last Thanksgiving my grandmother was alive for, she kicked down the front door of our house and started grabbing things off people’s plates, lolling her thick, pink tongue in the gravy boat, and mashing her chubby fingers in all the relish and pickle dishes and licking them off. She ate all the potatoes, squash, stuffing, napkins, and two of my cousins. Bitch.

  18. GossipMonkey

    She is an idiot. Everyone of those pictures makes me think of Brian Griffin doing “Peanut Butter Jelly Time”. A fat, UGLY Brian.

  19. artie_lange's_liver

    the pictures made me think of chris farley in tommy boy. everyone sing along, “fat girl in a little dress, fat girl in a little dress.”

  20. kandyk0119

    Man, her forehead looks like the Elephant Man, minus the humps, how old is she now?, like 40? Time to quit dressing like a junior Mariah, imagine what she looks like before they do all that lighting manipulation and stuff for her nearly naked ass in her videos, poor video crew!

  21. ellaminnowpea

    #115 – Hit the nail on the head – BONUS!!

    She is a 5’9″ BLIMP – bragging how she wears a size 4. In her dreams. She probably has her staff cut off the size 18 tags in her clothes and replace them with size 4 tags.

    Wrap her up in foil and write GOODYEAR on her side…..B L I M P

  22. DancingQueen

    # 80, I was totally thinking the same thing! Better an overly dressed for the occasion, tranny hooker outfit and combed hair than a trailer park pajama bottomed, bra hanging out, barefoot, white trash, cheeto eating, cigarette smoking, knocked up, bedheaded, wigger lovin bitch.

    # 115, that was HILarious!

    Papa, as always, hats off to you! And that’s not an asshat by the way.

  23. jrzmommy

    you know Mariah has tons of money, yet she dresses like her clothes are from some cheap-ass mall store. But as far as amazon- voluptous chic goes, she’s nailed it. horse face is unfortunate. hell of a lot of talent. what a mixed-bag of compliments.

  24. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Is it true that fat women have a really hard time dispelling the horrible odors that emit from their vagina because of the fatness and poor bathing/ grooming habits?
    MeganHarris, answer yes or no.

  25. jrzmommy

    Dr. Rokter, the thanksgiving day kerfaffle is making me laugh out loud at my desk in my very quiet office. thanks — between that one and the Southie Irish pipe-fitters beating K-Fed and the Bahston Tahk yesterday the people in my office think I’m a lunatic.

  26. HughJorganthethird

    I wonder what kind of space age super fabric they used to make this dress, because that motherfucker looks to be under alot of pressure.

  27. Master Shake

    Mariah Carey is fucking clown shoes.

  28. 124

    My coworker’s sister-in-law used to be a OB-GYN nurse, and before the doctor would see obese women, he’d make them get in there and scrub them down. He’d refuse to get near them because they had so much funk stuck in their folds. She said she’d have to heft the fat apart, just to be able to wash them. And after one particularly smelly patient, they didn’t use the room for several days, it stank so bad. So to answer the question, yes, I do think it’s true they stink nonstop.

  29. Geno

    I don’t care waht people say. She’s still attractive.
    http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

  30. What is this ‘walking the dog’ shit. She’s outside posing. I see no walking happening. None.

  31. purplepuppy

    Hey guys, lay off the poor stinky fat ladies for a while. Guys (fat or not) can have some stank on them too! BARF!

  32. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    128 – Thanks for the fun facts. I am now going to shoot myself in the head because of your descriptive and elloquent imagery.

    On second thought, let’s just shoot all the fat women in the head. Shooting really hot chicks such as myself with vaginas that are clean as a whistle and taste like grape soda isn’t going to solve anything.

  33. kr8ie

    Does anyone else notice how effing big her forehead is??? What the hell? You could sign aliens by shining light of that thing!

  34. sissybelle

    Mariah really needs to stop pretending she’s 17. Nobody’s buying it but 36-year-old mariah Carey.

  35. Sheva

    Fire her pr person. This stunt makes her look deranged and stupid.

    caption to first photo: I’m ready for my scene now.

    She’s such a screw up. Talent + excess = beached whale.
    Who knew whales and dogs could be such pals.

  36. Dr.Rokter

    #125 Why thank you. Don’t fear laughter. One should never let the straights in one’s office dictate how you act. Because that shit is for sissies and girls. And Communists, and fat people, and pederasts, freedom-haters and “malfeasers” (whatever they are), the starting lineup of the New York Yankees, people who watch children’s DVDs about religious vegetables, and anyone who uses “ur” instead of “your” or “you’re”.

  37. geedarn

    At least when her dog takes a shit Mariah will have a nice light snack to keep her strength up.

  38. alaskanchicsickle

    @89
    My cousin was sexually molested by her father from the age of 2 to 10 and suffered from bulemia and anorexia until around the age of 16 she got tired of guys pawing at her and bringing back bad memories. So she ate herself to about a size 16 until she met her now hubby and felt comfortable enough to lose the weight. She’s now a size 0 if that. So its not always because someone just likes to sit around and eat too much.

  39. 138

    True, but it usually is. I’d say about 99% of obese people are that way because they eat too much, and don’t excercise. And if they’re doing it because of emotional problems,they still need to eat too much to get that fat, don’t they? So many of these people could be thin, if they really wanted to, just like your cousin.

  40. sissybelle

    I don’t particularly consider Mariah fat, but I do consider her sluttish. You don’t have to dress like an aging Skid Row whore to take your dog to pee.

  41. PapaHotNuts

    @138
    Jesus, that’s a little too much info.

  42. tarjamarja

    120 & 133

    Her forehead IS huge. And her hairdo in those pictures probably makes it look even bigger. It’s really disturbing.

    She isn’t fat, but she’s always wearing something slutty, which is horribly unattractive.

    Also, by the way she’s holding that leash, that’s probably the first time she’s ever walked a dog.

    PS. 138, I hope your cousin’s father rots away in prison and gets molested by all the other inmates.

  43. alaskanchicsickle

    @139
    Hey girl, yep, you probably have to be eating almost constantly to become obese. Although I hardly saw my cousin eating, I think she waited until she was alone. Now, she just doesn’t eat at all. She’s like, Oh my God, I ate so much today. When I know she had no breakfast, no lunch, and a salad made of carrots and lettuce for dinner, that granted took up the whole plate, but probably was about 50 calories max. Well anyway enough of that, give me some of your goddamn chocolate. I feel emotionally distressed. I’m a size 7/8 which makes me terribly obese compared to everyone else in here.

  44. alaskanchicsickle

    Sorry Papa, I’m in a ranting mood today, but I’ll feel better after I roll me a big fatty.

  45. alaskanchicsickle

    142, nope the bastard never did time

  46. perfectanglovesgodlol

    gotta love pic #1 where she is trying her hardest to look like she’s a diva and at the same time trying her hardest to suck in her tummy and stick out her titts and has anyone one noticed that she really hasnt made it any further than doors wow what a work out mariah the poor dog gets to go for a five foot walk now when she calls hey pooch lets go for a walk he has to wait for 5 hours so his owner can get all skanked out for his 2 second walk i cant wait till he decides enough is enough and eats her in her sleep now that will be a story

  47. toopyloopy

    she looks like a tall midget

  48. 143

    Ha, you and me both. I could never starve myself, I like food too much. I’d be miserable.

    I think 146 might be on speed. Just a hunch.

  49. tarjamarja

    145

    Damn. :( People like that don’t deserve to live.

  50. Anonymous

    #142: Mariah isn’t fat? Are you blind??? She is grossly obese. What is weird is that she STILL looks disgustingly fat and retarded EVEN AFTER the liposuction. Trust me, she’s had lipo. People of her “girth” tend not to have that “muscle line/indentation” on the outside of one’s upper thigh. Also, it is evident that she had the fat sucked out of her arms too. I’m just curious why she didn’t get the rest of the fat sucked out of her when she got all that work done.

    I swear, every time I see a picture of Mariah, she gets fatter and fatter and whorier and whorier and stupider by the second.

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