Getting knocked up by Justin Bieber is not only every girl’s dream, it’s also a winning lottery ticket waiting to fly out of your uterus and carry you to the bank on gossamer maple-wings. Which makes it odd that Mariah Yeater was contemplating giving up her infant son for adoption because if she’s not lying and Justin Bieber is the father, she legally has to carry that kid around in a burlap sack with a dollar sign on it. I know the law. Page Six reports:
“She didn’t know if she was going to keep him,” Samra Fae Stepper told The Post at her Fredericksburg, Va., home, where Yeater holed up while pregnant for several months last spring.
“We kept asking about the father, but I didn’t press it,” said Stepper, whose brother Anthony Simeonoff is Yeater’s stepdad.
Stepper’s mom, Frances Wilson, said, “I did ask her if she was going to keep the baby. She said she didn’t know.”
“I don’t think she knew until almost when the baby was born.”
Wilson said Yeater had told her, “I’m pretty sure I know who he is,” referring to the father. “But she said she wasn’t going to tell him.”
Mariah Yeater is “pretty sure” she knew who the father is, yet needed some time to think? Wow, that’s amazing because her attorney just told Dr. Drew that she was absolutely positive Justin Bieber is the dad. Via CNN:
“In the relevant time period, she wasn’t having sex with anyone else,” Pare said. “That’s how we know Justin Bieber is, in fact, the father of the baby … we need the paternity test to verify that scientifically, 100-percent. It is a modest request. We’re not asking for an exorbitant amount of money. We need him to step up and take the test.”
Interesting. So she claims she wasn’t having sex with anyone else, yet couldn’t decide if Justin Bieber is the father? Again, I hope to God this turns out to be a Maple Baby, but how the hell else did Mariah Yeater think she got pregnant? “Well, it might have been that Justin Bieber concert, but then again, I went to Taco Bell last October and got cinnamon twists. I better be certain…”
UPDATE: Surprise! TMZ is reporting Mariah went nuts on her ex-boyfriend last year and told him he was the father of her baby. When he insisted he wasn’t, she broke his car window and beat the shit out of him. So long story short, Justin Bieber’s going to die.