Mariah Isn’t a Diva at All, Guys! FOR SRSLY!

Mariah Carey is tripling down on her Christmas monopoly (basically that’s the only thing that keeps her relevant) and the PR rollout over her “All I Want for Christmas” tour is getting a head start for those people who put their Christmas lights up in October. She’s teamed up with former Westlife boyband member Mark Feehily for her holiday tour and he’s come out saying that Mariah Carey isn’t as much of a diva as everyone makes her out to be… Money makes you say funny things, so I think he’s fucking delusional.

Speaking exclusively to The Sun Online, Feehily, said: “They say never meet your idols — but this couldn’t be more opposite for Mariah.”

“The last time I went to see Mariah she was playing in Wembley. Afterwards we went to a friend’s apartment in Hackney. We literally ordered a Chinese and sat on the floor eating our takeaway. So we were sitting on the floor, eating our Chinese and drinking champagne in a flat in London, discussing what was going on on the telly and having a laugh. Her super stretch white limo was parked outside the block of flats. Next to all the other cars! To me that’s a good example of who she is, the biggest selling female superstar of all time, a massive diva, she loves all the fabulous life of course but at same time she’s very down to earth and not afraid to hang out in her mates flat and have a Chinese and a bit of a laugh.” (from PageSix)

Yeah, this reasoning doesn’t quite cut it for me. Until I see Mariah doing “normal people things” like driving her own car or… I don’t know, walking without assistance, I’m not going to be convinced that she’s not a diamond-encrusted human slug with supernatural vocal range.

Also it doesn’t help that this clip of her being carted around a venue like a wheelbarrow full of perfumed meat will never be unseen…