Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon’s Divorce Should Be Here Any Minute Now

Mariah Carey used to tweet lingerie photos to make people believe Nick Cannon gets to have sex with her which he absolutely does not. But those times are over now for even the freshest rose of love eventually wilts and hires spies to make sure nobody’s fucking you. Page Six reports:

When the comic hosted pool parties in Las Vegas earlier this year, the diva dispatched a security guard to keep watch over her husband.
“The security guard wasn’t there to keep the girls away from him,” said our source. “It was to keep him away from the girls.”
Carey also didn’t want Cannon drinking while at the Vegas gigs because she felt he “gets in trouble when he drinks,” the source added.

In fact, just to be safe, Mariah Carey hire two more security guards to make sure Nick Cannon doesn’t do anything that might illicit feelings of joy, happiness, and/or brief entertainment. Although, executing his Playstation gangland-style may have been a tad overkill. These videos games today are just too much fun. They practically forced her hand.

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