On Friday, Mariah Carey tweeted the above photo with the following caption:
quality time with #dembabies.. so much happiness!!
Except, according to Buzzfeed, it’s impossible for that to be a photo of Mariah with “dem babies” because it was taken during a 1997 episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show and Mariah Carey isn’t Doctor Who. Yet…
Of course, if you were paying attention to the Casey Kasem post earlier, you’d already know that women with large breasts lack a cohesive bond with reality, so there’s your answer for why Mariah Carey would do something so stupid in the age of the paparazzi and a vast global network that provides instantaneous access to said paparazzi’s photographs. Photographs like these recent shots of Mariah Carey looking like a bulldog with a goddamn bee sting and even more recent ones from Terry Richardson who could only slim her face so far because technology still has a way to go. But don’t worry, in the future, Jon Hamm‘s dick and Blake Lively‘s legs will be a setting on every camera. I have foreseen it.