Maria Shriver Used to Joke That The Maid’s Baby Looked Like Arnold

May 19th, 2011 // 145 Comments

“I know, I know. I’m an idiot…”

In a telling anecdote of just how well Maria Shriver conditioned herself to ignore obvious signs of Arnold Schwarzenegger groping literally anything with a vagina – Herself being the first clue. – Hollywood Life reports she used to joke that Mildred Baena‘s son looked exactly like Arnold. Womp womp:

“Maria, the family and even other members of the staff joked around from time to time that Mildred’s kid looked like Arnold,” a source tells exclusively.
“Looking back on those jokes now…it’s like, hindsight is always 20/20,” the insider explains, adding, “It was if it was so obvious they looked alike, that it was just a coincidence and something to be joked about.”

In Maria’s defense, and this gets even better, she was pregnant with Christopher Schwarzenegger (above) at the same exact time Mildred was pregnant with Little Latino Arnold which really has to be weird for Christopher. A. The maid’s kid was his brother the whole time. And B. No one ever says he looks like his dad. Although, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time until photos surface of a young Arnold playing Augustus Gloop in his school play. “They made me eat buttah for veeks. I could barely grope da teachah.”

Photo: Flynet


  1. Jimmy

    It’s got to be tough to be both Arnold’s son and really fat.

  2. the captain

    sometimes it’s better to ignore the truth.

  3. RoboZombie

    Man-Cankles!! (Mankles??)

  4. Seat Filler

    Maybe Arnold is not the father of el tubbo, Though he does look like Teddy Kennedy

  5. Maeby


  6. neo

    I rather bang the mexican chick with her big tatas, than bang a very skeleton looking women. The skull face haunts me, when i look at her.

  7. JC

    “I’m the same size as my dad! If my dad were a sphere….”

  8. Fish-

    Do we have to pick on the fat kid just because his father is a vapid, soulless douche-bag?

  9. stratacat

    there is NO WAY this kid and the the kid with the jesus-abs are related.

  10. Deacon Jones

    Man, Arnold fucked up big time on this one.

    And to do it a fat, old Mexican maid??? I mean, come on. There’s plenty of shallow whores in California (shit, that sums up almost everything south of LA) and this is the best the Terminator could do?

    There’s ramblings about the shit that used to go down in the governor’s building, way crazier than this story. Wait until those broads start speaking up when cash is waved in front of them.

    Cue Gloria Alfred and a couple of crying women at a press conference in 3, 2, 1..

    • Cock Dr

      Turns out the old adage of not shitting where you live/eat/fuck is a damned good one.
      Dumb, poor impulse control, and an epic liar. Arnold sucks.

      • Deacon Jones

        And the most important one, don’t shit where you work!

        HR lives for that shit. Especially when you get drunk at the X-mas party. They live for that shit too.

  11. maemers

    Cue fat men coming out of the woodwork to be like “FINALLY, A NORMAL BODY!”

    Face it: the kid’s fuckin’ fat.

  12. Maria Shriver Arnold Schwarzenegger Christina Schwarzenegger Christopher Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently Arnold’s other son is actually not his but instead the love child of the stay puft marshmallow man.

    • Josh (

      He needs to use that size to get PUMPED UP

      • samuel

        he is probably eating his stress…poor kid getting embarrassed in front of the world. He needs compassion not ridicule, it is an awkward age without finding having a secret brother from the press.

  13. Uncle Jemima

    Get to da Jabba!

  14. Apparently Arnold’s other son is actually not his but instead the love child of the stay puft marshmallow man.

  15. Maria Shriver Arnold Schwarzenegger Christina Schwarzenegger Christopher Schwarzenegger
    Jon Hex
    Commented on this photo:

    What has that kid been eating, diabetes?

  16. Ole one eye Rough

    No one to put these jokes on tape?

  17. Erica

    The kid’s not fat. He’s a real woman, with curves.

    • That's it


    • CHill

      HAHAHAHAHA Thank you for exposing those idiots on here that gripe about weight :-)

      • sarahb

        Arnold probably wanted to keep as much distance from this kid as possible. The kid probably don’t even know he belongs to Arnold. Maria should go out and buy some poison mushrooms and let the slutt maid prepare them for her and Arnold while Maria goes out of town..

  18. Acrylique

    Wow, this is really sad for these folks. The lives of these people are never going to be the same.

    On a side note, you’d think with Arnold knowing he’s the kids dad, he could’ve given the kid some workout/nutrition tips. He had to know the kid was going to be eventually found out to be his, and therefore be a reflection of himself. Superficial yes, but what site are we on?

  19. Maria Shriver Arnold Schwarzenegger Christina Schwarzenegger Christopher Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m surprised ahnold allowed the fat one to live

  20. No wonder Maria looks wrecked all the time.

  21. Blargh

    Sweet Jesus, either that Patrick soaked up all the handsome from his DNA or Christopher ate his share.

  22. Maria Shriver Arnold Schwarzenegger Christina Schwarzenegger Christopher Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    If Arnold’s latino love child is as fat as the one pictured, the obvious title for him would be Fat Bastard.

    How in the hell did Arnold let his son get so large? Oh, that’s right, he’s too busy groping other women to pay attention to his kids.

  23. Maria Shriver Arnold Schwarzenegger Christina Schwarzenegger Christopher Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    wonderful camera angle…looks like one of the blue man group (or a really large smurf) is blowing their load into Christina’s face/mouth

  24. Noel

    “They made me eat buttah for veeks. I could barely grope da teachah.”

    laughed so hard i peed myself. just a little bit.

  25. Nard Dog


  26. wishbone

    For Christ’s sake people. Leave the kid alone. He’s overweight…get over it.

    • Ming the Merciless

      Sorry, if you choose to stuff your face with food every day, you choose to be the (oversized) butt of jokes. Too bad his parents failed him.

      • Leonine46

        You are a creep. No wonder kids get suicidal over being fat with a–holes like you and your hateful comments.. He will outgrow the baby fat, but youy will not outgrow being an a–hole.

    • Janice Marie

      The reason for the snark is that his father is an advocate (sp?) for nutrition and fitness. Can you not see the irony?

  27. Acrylique

    I honestly do feel bad for the kid, he’s innocent in all of this.

  28. Queequeg

    So what should Arnold have done?

    Given the maid the Mary Jo Kopechne treatment like any other Kennedy?

  29. UnholyKrep

    Wait- did the Shriver kid EAT the maid’s kid?

    • sarahb

      So did someone appoint you to inform grown up people what they should and should not say on a board designed for people to stress their opinion?
      If so, please let us know, if not, decide what you write on the board and leave us alone.

      • kyleb

        Actually she looks better now because she has learned from Maria how to dress a little more classy and how to behave a little more ladylike. She took Maria’s money and hospitality to dress it up a little and make herself a little more enticing to master plan a meal ticket for her self, her sisters and her mot and showed her ignorant gratitude by hopping in Mariasa bed with her husband everytime Maria wasn’t home . Some people come to the US and take our jobs, welfare, food stamps, medical care burn our flag or fly it upside down, under theirs, and screw our men and then protest because we don’t want them here. Fancy that!!!!!

  30. The Listener

    People, that’s a 13 year old kid. You need to quit with the fat jokes. That’s just mean. Going after Arnold is much better.
    Another thing is I haven’t seen a photo of what the maid looked like 14 years ago so I don’t know how hot she was then. Still no excuse for a man to cheat on his wife, but I AM curious.

  31. Gatorbates

    So now we know where Chunk from “The Goonies” has been hiding ….

  32. Maria Shriver Arnold Schwarzenegger Christina Schwarzenegger Christopher Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    Best picture out of the 12

  33. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Bring back the hot son from yesterday! Mama likey!

  34. Uncle Jemima

    Do zee traffle shaffle. DO EET!

  35. Uncle Jemima

    That escalator is about to get its ass kicked.

  36. Maria Shriver Arnold Schwarzenegger Christina Schwarzenegger Christopher Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    she really does look good…she’ll come out on top. In the end, she has class and he looks like an over-tanned steroid shootin’ penis.
    Let’s just hope he’s a good father.

  37. Maria Shriver Arnold Schwarzenegger Christina Schwarzenegger Christopher Schwarzenegger
    the only opinion that matters
    Commented on this photo:

    You people are cruel. Don’t you think it is probably hard enough for that kid without mindless morons making nasty comments. If it was your kid you would be so hurt if people wrote comments like that. Be kind, he is just a kid.

    • al roker

      YOU TELL EM!

      …but he is rather large, no?

    • Woofus

      Were you a fat kid? There is no excuse for rich people to have fat kids, when you have the best in culinary skills, therapy, exercise equipment and personal trainers.

      • I totally agree with Woofus…….there is no excuse for that kid to be fat. His parents are stinking rich and this kid is just fucking lazy. What happened to apple and not falling far from the tree. Looks like this apple fucking rolled way the fuck out there.

        Besides….the other son (out of wedlock) looks WAY more like Arnold than this Pugsly looking kid.

        And just because we’re here talking shit online doesnt mean we’re cruel to the kid… by nature are even more cruel. Imagine him being teased in school, especially since he is a fatty while his father was a body builder.

  38. Uncle Jemima

    Q: Who is your daddy and what does he do?
    A: The maid, members of his staff, not my mom.

  39. cc

    Let me speak with your mother please, I was told that she’s here. That line from Kindergarten Cop suddenly seems very funny now.

  40. Uncle Jemima

    I have an audio recording of this kid taking a dump.

  41. Maria Shriver Arnold Schwarzenegger Christina Schwarzenegger Christopher Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    I did not know that Arnold was Chris Farley’s father.

  42. Maria Shriver Arnold Schwarzenegger Christina Schwarzenegger Christopher Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:


  43. The Critical Crassness

    Obviously, this must be true since it was reported by that pillar of journalistic truthfulness, Hollywood Life. This is the same website that has had Katie Holmes pregnant by Tom Cruise, since 1995 or was it Tom Cruise pregnant by Katie Couric using artificial insemination. Oh well, it just has to be true if, Hollywood Life said so.

  44. jd

    arnold must have been a better actor than i gave him credit for to get through all those awkward conversations.

  45. After seeing all the evidence, I blame tequila.

  46. hart2hart

    I’ve been to Zoo York, and the funnel cakes ARE amazing. Keep your chins up, kid.

  47. oh i know

    i can’t get past the fact that both this brother and sister are named “chris”!

  48. Democrats are smarter

    It’s all about the job. You’re trapped inside a public office and are scrutinized every time you go out. The only thing you can do when you get horny is have sex with the hired help behind closed doors, regardless of what the help looks like.

    At least Clinton was smart enough to squirt inside Monica Lewinsky’s mouth and not her vagina. Plus, it only costs a few dollars to clean ejaculate off of a dress if she misses some.

  49. CptCreep

    You’re going to have to cross the streams to kill that kid!

  50. KGB

    This kid looks more like Arnold than Arnold does. Must have been one of those sheepish jokes where she side looked at Arnold with one eye, hoping not to spark any guilt, obviously, didn’t work very well until now.×375.jpg

    (that’s Arnold Jr)

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