Maria Shriver Leaked The News of Arnold’s Love Child

May 24th, 2011 // 90 Comments

Presumably because he pulled shit like, I dunno, taking his secret love child on family vacations, Maria Shriver originally planned to hold a press conference announcing Arnold Schwarzenegger had an affair with the maid, according to TMZ:

TMZ has new information from sources connected to Maria. We’re told when Maria found out that Arnold was the father of Mildred Patty Baena’s son, she was “hysterical” and wanted to hold a news conference blowing the lid off the scandal.
We’re told Maria’s friends talked her off a ledge and a plan was eventually hatched to leak the details to the L.A. Times and TMZ.
And we have new information about when Maria found out about the baby. Now we’re told Maria learned about Arnold’s love child in late April or very early May.

Of course, this was the smart move because when you look like freaking Skeletor, giving press conferences is never a good idea. Maria Shriver could reveal Arnold is the end-product of Nazi engineering, programmed to infiltrate our government, and all anyone would hear is something about wanting to hunt us for sport using her alien cloaking device. In fact, I’m 90% positive that’s the message she’s beaming into my head right now via these photos. No, I will not go with you to a game planet with Adrien Brody!

Photos: Getty

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  1. Arzach

    A new episode of Tales From the Crypt?

  2. Dank

    If my wife turns out to look like that after 20 years, im banging the maid too.

  3. Bloody Bitch

    MERRRRRRRIIIIINNNNN!!!!

  4. Jovy

    I swear right when I saw her picture these cats outside started fighting.

  5. E

    The creature puts the lotion on its skin

  6. So what? All men are dogs,leave arnold alone,
    not right to bang maid,that is a low down dirty dog

  7. the captain

    please cut the crap wih “LOOVE CHILD”.
    ……A BASTARD SON, nothing more!!

  8. the captain

    cut the crap with love child.
    A B*STARD’S SON, nothing more!!

  9. Maria Shriver
    milkcerealbaby
    Commented on this photo:

    The Sperminator will now have to cough up $200 million for hitting that raggedy ass of a housekeeper. He should have saved the dough and shame, by just pulling the plug on being married.

  10. Maria Shriver
    Codot
    Commented on this photo:

    BRING ME HE-MAN!

  11. Maria Shriver
    PTFunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, that’s a mighty google eye ya got there, Skeletor!

  12. Maria Shriver
    Rumpledforeskin
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey ladies. Look how attractive those smoker’s lines are above her lip. Enjoy your cigarettes…

  13. Keithypoo

    Bride of Chucky?

  14. footballisus

    You cant blame Arnie,the Bitch has got a rabid dog face that only Darth Vader could luv!

  15. Inmate 12236969

    Come on for being 55 years old she’s don’t look that bad I’d hit it. I also blame her if she would have giving him more pussy and head he wouldn’t have fucked the maid.

    Every woman knows their man if you don’t give your man his medicine he going to go to another woman to get his medicine. That was Maria’s job giving him sex all the time not interviewing fucks for CBS.

    Same with Hillary she wouldn‘t give Bill head so Bill said, “fuck it I’m going to get me a blowjob.”

  16. woodhorse

    “Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight, someone’s thinking of me and loving someone else tonight”

  17. Maria Shriver
    Kiroux
    Commented on this photo:

    Most woman I’ve seen with smoker’s lines don’t actually smoke, it’s called ageing. So Rumpledforeskin’s preach is invalid. And I will enjoy my cigarettes, thank you.

  18. chrisj

    For a woman who can easily afford a cheeseburger and a trip to the beauty salon, she is pathetic. Arnold should be in the epilogue of Profiles in Courage for having sex with her (my skin just crawled out the door!).

  19. LoveChild

    I swear, she looks like the Chucky** Doll in that main picture.
    I’m scared :(

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