Maria Shriver & Arnold Schwarzenegger Aren’t Getting Back Together

January 5th, 2012 // 8 Comments

Along with rumors a reconciliation was in the works, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver both were spotted wearing what appeared to be their wedding rings over the holiday weekend, leading many to believe it was only a matter of time until her partially wet Predator tongs received his wayward Austrian baby dispenser in the grope of all gropes. Except a source close to Maria tells People it was not her wedding ring, but instead a family heirloom:

The bling seen on Shriver’s left hand is actually her late mother’s engagement ring. Shriver, who was extremely close her mom, has been wearing the ring since Eunice Shriver’s death in August 2009.
As for rumors that Shriver is having second thoughts about divorcing Schwarzenegger, a source close to the couple denies it.
“The reports of a reconciliation are not true,” says the source.

Of course, that’s just what the Illuminati wants you to think, and doesn’t explain why Arnold’s been running around with his wedding band on. Unless homely Latina maids love the feel of its rough edges inside the near-menopausal exit chute for Arnold’s next love-baby which, in hindsight, actually does explain it. I probably should’ve said that first.

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. Come to Daddy, you sexy little sack of garden rakes.

  2. Cock Dr

    It would have been super cool if she had pretended to reconcile, and then killed and dismembered him the first night he was back in her bed.

  3. Johnny P!

    Maria: Testing! Testing! 1-2-3 Testing! Is this thing on?!?
    Arnold: Hah hah! Remember ven you used to hold my cock and say those exact vords into it? By the way, who’s the ring from?
    Maria: I’m a Bride Of Christ now, Arnold.
    Arnold: (long pause) Okay!, Vell, I just remembered I’m making a movie and I’m late. Give my love to the kids!

  4. Oh good! I was so worried. Ha!

  5. forrest gump

    she saw jesus?

  6. Lisatlantic

    “Unless homely Latina maids love the feel of its rough edges inside the near-menopausal exit chute for Arnold’s next love-baby which, in hindsight, actually does explain it.” You’re a fucking poet, dude.

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