Margot Robbie’s Nipples Will Lead Us Into The Light

So the past two weeks have been a soulcrushing smorgasbord of child molesters and the sloth-people who let them near their kids, and pretentious hipsters who think writing about their little sister’s vagina is totes edgy, all capped off by me staring deep into a bottomless abyss of dumb that 100% believes that even a basic college education is a brainwashing indoctrination into Communism. And these people fucking vote. But today’s a new day, and with that day comes Margot Robbie’s nipples and not a single post about Mama June, Lena Dunham or politics [because I’m all out of liquor]. There’s even a Bertney Story coming up because in the words of Aaron Eckhart’s chin, “The night is darkest just before the nipple. And that’s how we’ll catch The Joker. With a nipple.”

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Photo: Splash News, Xposure/AKM-GSI