Jennifer Lopez gets humped by Marc Anthony on stage

February 5th, 2007 // 97 Comments

Christ, when I first saw these photos I thought JLo was being attacked by a zombie. But turns out it was just Marc Anthony trying to force himself onto her at Ocean Drive’s Super Bowl XLI gala. Isn’t there a point where whatever drugs you’ve been tricked into taking wear off and you realize you’ve married a mutant? She could’ve married a dead hobo and it would’ve made more sense than this. It’d probably also cut down on the public humpings.


  1. whackjob

    r.e. zombies…see pic three jumbotron image.

  2. nosepicker


  3. schack

    i think he’s actually trying to steal the mic. keeping Jlo in the attic proved insufficient to distract latino audiences from his rival…

  4. And when he finishes eating her brains, she’ll be ready for Scientology.

  5. Angry Ferret Jones

    I hate her guts, yet for some reason I would still fuck the taste out of her mouth.

    It’s hard being a guy.

  6. jazzdrummer420

    No wonder they have problems getting pregnant! Note to J-Lo you don’t need Scientology you need to do it naked and actually penetrate, I understand you may not want to have sex with a mutant but if you want kids than you need to stop clothesfaqing

  7. schack

    p.s. he’s so gross…

  8. griffmills

    I don’t like him here
    I don’t like him on HBO’s Rome
    I would like to hump her

  9. Lizzle

    I have a feeling this guy has a microscopic dick. And when they’re having sex, he’s screaming for her to climax with him and she’s just laying there, wishing it was Ben and reminding herself to set an appointment the next day for a manicure. Then he spasms, making a face like a rat who just found a big hunk of cheese. He rolls over, exhausted and happy, and asks “Was it as good for you as it was for me, Jennifer?” I have a feeling she just glares at him, takes some strong prescription sleep aid, and says “I told you to call me JLo, bitch.”

  10. MsMonipenni

    OMG! I just spat my cereal all over my computer…that is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen…he looks exactly like a zombie!!

  11. -Stormy.

    Pic #2 – WTF is with that nasy “dress” she’s got on. Looks like something Whitney Houston would have worn back in the 80′s.

    Pic #4 – Sieg Heil!

  12. XeoRad

    My wife says he is sexy. Of course, she says I make Brad Pitt look like an ugly wheenie-fag, so go figure. I guess I’m one lucky guy…

    I think the fucker looks like he is dying (dead) of AIDS. However, I would agree with the whole “zombie mutant” description too.

    And what about her huge, rotundant ass? I mean, she should be required by Homeland Defense to register it as a weapon of mass destruction. Let’s send J Lo to Badghdad and have her swing that shit around. Our boys’ll be home within weeks. Have her sing and the enemy will commit mass-suicide – let’s win this one for the Gipper!

  13. Soooooo gross! She’ll do anything to resurect her
    dying career including becoming a Scientologist.
    She’s a media whore.

  14. i like her very much. and, unfortunately, the a fact that her carrer is dying is real

  15. DancingQueen

    People should never make the fuck face in public. Period. I don’t care if you’re a zombie or not.

  16. Naid

    AFJ!!! I miss your blog, Xanga fucking sucks. Please get a new place soon?? im going into DT bastard! :)

    P.s – if Jlo and Zombie Anthony have a child, it will be like Suri cruise twin.. ALIEN BABIES INVADE

  17. Binky

    I prefer their vocal group – the Crypt Kicker Five.

  18. LL

    Wow, he does look like the undead. With a really nice watch. I sorta like her dress. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen her. That one picture of them kissing looks like he’s trying to eat her face; won’t help dispel the rumors of his zombification. And why do celebrity couples feel the need to slobber all over each other onstage? We get it, you’re fucking, big deal, let’s move on. Either their marriage is a constant clash of giant egos, or their giant egos cancel each other out. Only time will tell.

  19. pinky_nip

    What’s the big deal? Donnie & Marie were doing these same moves back in the ’70′s.

  20. serial snarkalec

    He could fit in one of her thunder thigh stockings.

  21. griffmills

    Donnie was humping Marie??

  22. PrettyBaby

    #19 pinky- LOL!!
    Alright wtf is the deal… it is sort of a “famous” urban legend that Marc Anhtony is very well-edowed, but damn that skinny fucker is ugly as a cadaver. She always looks good and healthy, Hey, maybe he is trying to suck the health/life outta her, I don’t know.

  23. machinegundolly

    ooooh my lord. that first picture is gonna give me nightmares. you just KNOW thats his sexface. ugh. puke.

  24. #16 – we’re all hanging out here, for now…everybody’s invited!

  25. Jenster

    he was just starting to look less mutant-like
    these days and whaddya know, he’s back to
    his shivering chiwawa look.(i cant spell that word for shit)
    God damnit he’s one ugly fucker.

  26. MissRandom

    #23- His sex face?? 0_o?

    J Lo just orgasmed at the sound of her own voice!

    Now I get it … she just wanted someone to appreciate her as much as she does!

  27. Troller

    In pic #1 she has his johnson in a “death grip”. Ewwww

  28. schadenfreudelicious

    He reminds me of a teeny-tiny dog trying desperatly to leg hump a much bigger bitch…

  29. elizabeththewellread

    I will NEVER understand this unholy union. That man is disgusting on so many levels.

  30. Looks like a miniature Frankenstein monster straddling a disco singer.

  31. llllllllll

    pic #1 what the hell is she grabbing? The material of his pants or his hollow ass?

  32. PrettyBaby

    He’s the palest Latino I have ever fucking seen.

  33. Ossie19

    Her love life makes me sad. Knowing that you weigh more than your husband sucks but being married to a skeleton now that is just sad.

  34. HollyJ

    There’s no way he has a big schlong. He’s about 5′ tall with tiny hands and feet. MICRODICK, people… it’s called a MICRODICK..also known as the nanopole.

  35. Geez that guy looks like a chode.

  36. BarbadoSlim

    Ugh, now that’s some creepy looking shit right there. It’s best…..not to uh, dwell on it.

  37. schack

    isn’t ron jeremy really short with tiny hands and feet? p.s. my last boyfriend had very small hands for his body, and was nonetheless quite well-endowed.

    but it’s cute that you think you can tell. betcha walk around checking peoples’ hands all day, thinking “phew, my dick is bigger than that guy’s!” nice try. hehe.

  38. schack

    isn’t ron jeremy really short with tiny hands and feet? p.s. my last boyfriend had very small hands for his body, and was nonetheless quite well-endowed.

    but it’s cute that you think you can tell. betcha walk around checking peoples’ hands all day, thinking “phew, my dick is bigger than that guy’s!” nice try. hehe.

  39. D'oh Eyes

    YUCKY. He looks like Voldemort when he was that nasty pasty unholy-baby-thing.

  40. #38 – Actually, I do that and up until now I felt a lot better about me. THANKS.

  41. blahblahblah

    You heard it here first—I give Britney Spears one year before she looks exactly like Marc Anthony. I really think I’m on to something here.

  42. A media whore? You’re too polite. And I always think that over-the-top public displays of affection (PDAs) are just a pathetic attempt to convince others (and yourself) “how much in love” you are.

  43. Lowlands

    Holy Molly!Skeletor has urgent needs!

  44. schack

    giggledygoop: agreed… remember michael jaxon and the princess of rock? shiver…

    dead stoner: you oughtn’t fret, my pet. unless you do have a micropenis, the fact that she won’t cum without clitoral stimulation is her “fault.” friction is more important than pressure…

  45. Lowlands

    In the first pic,Jennifer is trying to grap and twist his little boner to back him off.

  46. schack

    well, i suppose you could be doing it in the wrong rhythm. rhythm is key. or you could be saying horrible things to her to crush her belief in true love, so that she feels only like a commodity. but hey, miracles are miracles because they are concievably impossible. the more you shit on her faith, the more it’s continuation is a true testament to its power. but that’s kind of like saying that God beats hardest the dogs he loves best, which is kind of creepy.

  47. schack


  48. Niecy

    He looks like he is cumming on the back of her dress

  49. RichPort

    #5 – “It’s hard being a guy” your boyfriend tell you that?

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